i don't really know what to do right now
i am feeling so down
im so sick and tired of life being so hard...
the last week has been total ****
i was at the local store with my daughter
who was being so horrible.. screaming, laying on the floor kicking
throwing things around
i talked to her and tried to get her off the floor.. but she wouldnt budge.
this guy.. who must have been around 18 started hurling abuse at me
oh what a f9cking wonderful mother you are.. cant even control your own kid
she is just a toddler
let me guess you a re a single mother
infront of everyone
have never felt so humilated
i went to see my mother this afternoon
who asked me about my best friend.. she is having her first child in a few weeks.
and she started to tell me how she thought
i should try to make friends more on my level
that althought my friend and i get along
we live in different worlds.
she has is married.. i am single
her child will have a loving dad.. mine has never met hers.
i am uneducated.. my friend is highly educated
my friend owns her own home with her husband and they are quite well off
and i am dirt poor and rent
that her child will have a much better life than mine will
and she hopes my kid will not be like me
that i should find friends i have more in common with
ie my friend is too good for me.
and i should find single mothers who are low like me.
she always knows what to say to make me feel like the most useless piece of garbage alive.
and to top it all off
i recieved an email today from my ex sister in law.
she is married to the brother of my daughters father.
saying she is sorry for how she has behaved and would like another chance to get to know my child.
when my ex left me while i was pregnant he told all his family that if they had anything to do with my daughter or i
he wouldnt see them anymore
so they all sided with him
except for the brother and sister in law
they would ask me how she was.. ask to see pics of her.
i really thought they cared.
my daughters father became really abusive and threatened to kill my daughter if i took him for child support.
i told them this
and they completely cut off all contact with me
they live overseas and came to my city twice last year
but did not ask to meet my daughter.
i emailed them giving them my contact numbers everything
but they just ignored me
no word from them for over a year
and now she out of the blue wants contact
what for?
she hurt me so badly
i knew her for 7 years.. i trusted her
and she did that
i feel like saying go to hell
i dont know what to do anymore
all i want to do is just sleep