what do i do? feeling so down

[skeetaboat]

It sounds like you feel really alone. What an awfully stressful ordeal you have been through. To lose all contact with your XPs family after knowing them so long, and to have him threaten your child's life, that is absoutely awful. Did you go to the police?

Maybe your SiL cut off contact after you told them about his threats because she was worried that contact would enrage him? Perhaps they thought that would be best for you and your little one?

You know, I too was at the shops last week, arms full of bags of groceries with a screaming toddler who decided to hit the floor. I was also approached, but rather than by a loser 18 year old being rude and unhelpful, I was fortunate that it was a grandfather who offered to take my groceries to my car so I could pick my child up. It happens to us all at some point (toddler tantrum in public), and it's no reflection on you as a mother; it's just what happens when toddlers are tired/hungry/frustrated & can't communicate with us... but the last thing any mother needs is someone making rude and unhelpful comments. What a loser that guy must have been! His behaviour in that situation is something *he* should be humiliated about. You have nothing to be ashamed of... you were just being a mumma in a difficult situation.

You need a huge pat on the back for what you're doing. Being a mumma is the toughest job on earth. Doing it alone is even tougher. Doing it alone with little support even tougher.. and doing it alone with little support and an XP who threatens your child's life... my God, you deserve so much respect and admiration.. and SUPPORT!

Don't let your mum put you down. Take those comments and stomp on them. Friendship isn't about having identicle lives.

And there is NOTHING shameful about being a single mum. Or about renting. Or about being uneducated. Be careful about putting meaning onto other people's words (eg your mum's). It sounds like you need to build up your self esteem so that other people's comments don't make you feel like the "most useless piece of garbage alive". You are so much more than that. To your little girl, you are the world, and you have cared for her and nurtured her for 2 1/2 years.. without anyone nurturing and caring for YOU (it sounds like). Give yourself some credit for the amazing job you're doing.

I think the advice you've had to access couselling is good. There's so much going on for you, having someone to talk to will help you sort through it.