I just wanted to say you shouldn't feel terrible for him as he's young(I would insert it as a quote but I'm daft at this technical stuff lol)...
You said he's been forced to be a father...I am sure he knew what the possible outcomes of intercourse were (not that I know your situation) .
Don't waste your precious energy feeling terrible for him, you have yourself and your bubs to be concerned about.
For your health and sanity you could start by toddler taming him . Next time he 'has an issue' tell him you'll talk to him when he's calm - and ignore him until such time. Thats what I do with my toddler and she learns quick how to get my "positive attention" (and not the negative attention from tantrums etc).
You know what? Your FIRST thoughts in your posts are correct. Don't second guess your first feelings.
Yep, trying to control you. Yep, doesn't have much interest in your welfare apart from needing to control you.
Yep, your mother comes first because you KNOW she has your best interests at heart (and soul).
Totally understand your need to do the right thing by DS, but the right thing actually doesn't mean a father in his life at the expense of having the WRONG father in his life. You first thoughts on this AGAIN are correct
sorry about the capitals, its just my way of waving my arms around online
Now - this isn't the perfect situation for anyone right now, XP could be a total ARSE or could possibly reacting in this way because he doesn't know any better (or something - whatever), maybe he wants to be the best father in the world - I dunno.
But one thing is for sure - you must do your very bestest to train him, toddler style like leesa said!
If that means getting all your legal rights sorted in your head, go do it. Protect yourself. Listen to your family cos they won't be playing games with you. If you don't have the strength, default to what they say about things until you feel stronger to make the decision for yourself.
I TOTALLY cut my DD's natural father out of her life. A harsh call, but he simply could not stop stuffing me around and playing games I didn't need. She is 17 now and it was the BEST decision I could have made. If he had acted like a grown up and stopped threatening me (at the very least) we may have sorted things out for her. But he wasn't interested in that, just the games.
Good luck, please hang about BB, its been a sanity saver for many of us
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