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Thread: Xdh Power Games and DS

  1. #1

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    Default Xdh Power Games and DS

    Not sure if this is in the right place but I couldn't find anything else...



    Xdh and I separated 5 years ago and divorced 4 years ago.
    I have sole custody of our 6yr old DS, Xdh gets fortnightly visits Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon.
    He was abusive when we were married (in all forms) and he has ALWAYS tried power games and intimidation methods but this time he is going overboard...
    He has called Child Protective Services on me at least 3 times and each time they have to investigate and it's incredibly stressful even though I am not a bad parent because I have these stories you hear about kids being taken from the good parent and given to the bad parent...
    My DS gets hysterical when he has to go to his dads, to the point of nearly vomiting... I know there is something going on but DS won't talk to me...
    I have him on a waiting list to see a child counsellor and I'm looking for legal help.

    I guess I am looking for advice on how to deal with this situation and if any one has been through this sort of thing? It's killing me that DS is going through this and the stress is causing me major anxiety...

  2. #2

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    Oh, I'm so sorry for you, what an awful situation.
    I wish I had some advice, hopefully someone else will be able to help you.
    There would have to be some legal way to have your concerns addressed.
    Does your ds have any other adults he can talk to and confide in? It must be heartbreaking to see your boy so distraught and know what his father is capable of.
    Good luck

  3. #3

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    Thanks Lara...
    He does but won't confide in any of them, which is why we are trying a counsellor...
    It is heartbreaking - scary, distressing!

  4. #4

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    is there a school counsellor or guidance officer who might be able to help in the meantime? Unfortunately there's not a lot else you can do if your DS won't say what the issue is.

    Good luck.

  5. #5

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    oh huni i know just how you feel. My ex is exactly just like that even to the point of the child service's except he will call them when i dont do or agree with something he wants.

    The best thing i found was.....and it may sound scary....but i called them...child services and i explained the whole thing to them and asked for their help in helping my DS. They will get him in right away to talk to someone and they will look into why he is so scared and anxious around his dad.

    Im sorry he is like that after all that time im hoping my ex will stop soon its been a few years but it still has not stopped. But you are doing the right thing you have nothing to be worried about. Child service's wont just take your child they need hard proof something is a miss.They would contact daycares schools ect. *hugs*

  6. #6

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    "[QUOTE=Berry Sweet;2421518]Not sure if this is in the right place but I couldn't find anything else...

    My DS gets hysterical when he has to go to his dads, to the point of nearly vomiting... I know there is something going on but DS won't talk to me...
    I have him on a waiting list to see a child counsellor and I'm looking for legal help."

    : Very distressing for a mother! You poor thing! If you're gut is telling you something isn't right then do whatever is necessary to help your son. At least you know that things may be investigated/explored/addressed for good reason. Some people out there are just very mean/sick/irrational and do horrible things (please dont think im implying anything though.)
    All the best with the situation.
    Last edited by Sunny Love; August 18th, 2010 at 09:28 PM. Reason: edit

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