I was thinking about it last night.
And for god knows how long after i get both the kidlets in bed asleep and i lay in bed and i reflect on the day gone.
I think about all the things i did wrong.
i initially wrote a big list here of all the things i do or have done but i made me feel like even a worse mum so i deleted them all.
I think tomorrow i will be more attentive, spend less time occupied, do things different but then the next evening comes and there is always something i have done that annoyed me or upset me for doing it.
(im not talking big things either - you know like DD was throwing a tantram and i walked away for a few seconds in public then came back - i am sure every does it but it doesnt make me feel better that i did).
i dont really know where this post is going either but just needed to vent about myself.
you know hun , i do that too .... then i fall into the same pattern and at the end of the next day , i feel the same again ,...im always telling my self "tomorrow i'l be better and i'll do such and such "
i really wish i knew how to make my slef a better mum..
just dont feel too bad , you really are a great mum xx
that's what makes u a good mother a mother who never evaluates or takes time to think about their actions just presume what they did was fine, A mother whom thinks about it and says to them self i could have don't this better is a truly loving mother whom makes every effort to be the best mother they can be. Im sorry if my wording is coming out wrong but im tiered but felt i needed to respond. And i haven't had all my coffee yet. But what im trying to say is YOU ARE are a GOOD MOTHER because u constantly evaluate your actions and want the best for your child!!!!!!
It's no use to do this. Yes evaluate the day but don't be so negative about yourself! How can you wake up and start a new day when you are still bleeding from your self inflicted wounds?
So what if you walked away during a public tanty? I find that the most effective way of stopping one- it involves no yelling, no smacking and kids learn the consequences on their own. My kids don't carry on now because as soon as I say 'mummy has no time for this, we need to get to the bakery/bank/car' they stop because they know I will walk away! So I had to hide behind the shelves once or twice .....it works well!
Parenting is the hardest gig in the word - we all know that, no one is perfect ALL the time. Count your blessings before you go to sleep and imagine all the wonderful things you have learnt during the the day......if makes for much better dreams too xoxoxo
thanks girls
I just get these moments of fear - i dont think watching the news helps at night either!
i think what if because i walked away - someone picked her up and took her - just because i didnt watch her for the moment cause i was upset at her behaviour?
I dont know it sucks, there is so much going on atm, and not enough hours in the day.
Just remember in life if we were perfect at everything what would be the point. I believe that each day is a lesson, if today my DD has a tantrum and I manage to get her under control without yelling and screaming- I have learnt something. If I get to bed tonight and my dishes and dirty and my cleaning washing is in a basket, but the kids are happy, fed and sleeping peacefuly I have also learnt something.
Life is about give and take, we give of ourselves, and peopel readily take- you are HUMAN, and there are always things we could do better, or differently- but my favourite saying is "we do the best we can, with what we have- and you don't know what you don't know!"
Imagine how you would have felt if you stood in public and screamed, yelled, ranted and swore at your DD because she was having a tantrum?
Maybe each night you should go to bed, and first tell yourself 1 thing you did brilliantly that day, and then pick 1 thing you would like to do better tomorrow!
PP dont beat yourself up honey - you sound like a fabulous mum... it is good to reflect on the day but make sure you also think about all the great things you have done - big and small. from what i have read from you i think you are a great mum.
xxx
I am having doubts as well as we are moving interstate next week (which is great!) but i didnt think getting a job would be so hard. I am in a profession i thought people would be throwing jobs at me, but when talking to employers they are all concerned i havent worked in 10 months (i have 2 under 2 give me a break!!) and i guess it makes me now doubt if i can keep working or need to loose my career over wanting to stay with my babies and only work casually.
I never saw a problem with casual work - i didnt think i would get this response and NO i dont want to put my DS (8months) in CC -that is my choice, i want to raise my babies and work in the off hours!
i dont know seperate issue but all compounding if you know what i mean.
How about tonight you list all the positive things you did for your family today. Starting with feeding them breakfast and getting them dressed for the day.
If I've had an exceptionally bad day with my kids I actually go back in late at night for a cuddle, and sometimes they wake and we have chatters and I explain how I felt I wasn't as attentive or I was a bit grumpy or whatever and that I'm going to try and make tomorrow a better day (another words apologise). Its good for a few reasons, I'm a paranoid neurotic and if I do this I can sleep. It also teaches my children I am not infallible and it teaches my children that I do take responsibility for my actions, and it also teaches them to do the same. Numerous times DD will come to and do the same and we snuggle and have chatters.
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I get to the end of the day and punish myself...
.....it works well!
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