Okay, so im feeling very slack on DP, as i have recently...in the 2nd trimester, have had little or no sex drive.
They say you usually get ur libido back at about 5 months, however, i feel like mine has done the complete opposite.
I cant stand my partner fussing over me, or kissing or hugging me.
I get angry when he tries to initiate sex...
When we do have sex, i lay there like a starfish, and winge about the cramps and bloating i have down there.
I never want to do any of the work, and expect him to do it....
And after ten minutes, i start winging that hes taking too long...
Does this sound terrible...??
Also, when it comes to oral, I now hate it, and never used to mind it before i was pregnant.
Sorry if this is TMI, but i nearly gag if he even puts it anywhere near my mouth...
I feel useless, and feel scared he will go elsewhere for the sex he desires (even though he loves me and i trust him, the worry is still in my mind)
To make it worse...he now comes to me and asks...'honey, can we have sex tonight'... He feels he has to ask, and make an appointment in advance....
This made me realise how bad it must be...the poor bugger has to ask in advance for it now.... I feel terrible....
I told him, im sorry that im not a casanova anymore, and he says its fine, and that he understands....but i still worry that he thinks...'everything has changed now'....
its ok to feel like that... your body is going through massive changes both physically and emotionally. think about all those new hormones going through your body now. i dont have much advice but just wanted to support you....
I'd been feeling the same way, tired, suffered with painful aching legs, bloating, ms,extra weight, head aches, and basically just didn't want it! the thought of sex ranging from 1/2 to 1 hour just felt like a chore! Recently, I watched a show on T.V and they mentioned about our pelvic floor exercises which naturally I started doing... OMG!!! my prayers are answered! No, it didn't magically put me in the mood (like it probably should have if I was somewhat 'NORMAL') no, I figured what if I do this when we are DTD? I tried it out... Over in seconds!!! Thank god! a little mix of rarely getting 'IT' , pelvic floor exercises during sex and perfectly timed thoughtful moans and groans and BAM! your work is done!!
I'd much rather put alot of effort into less than 5min then lay like a stuffed mullet possibly snacking on my daily fruit & veg intake while reading a mag for an hour! sorry TMI?
pmsl....thats good advice, and dun worry, its not tmi
I might have to try these pelvic exercises, ive heard of them, but never thought theyd work.
Yeah I fear having to dtd, as i couldnt imagine anything worse that it going on and on and on...
I feel terrible that he has to ask to have sex, but i sat down and told him last night that its all to do with the pregnancy, and that i hope he understands my 'non sex moods'
He was supportive, and told me not to worry.
Afterward we dtd, but halfway through i caught a glimpse of my thighs, and the stretch marks and cellulite on them, and i felt so sick...i ran to the bathroom, almost in tears...he was wondering what was wrong, and i told him i looked gross....
He told me i looked beautiful to him, and so we finished in the dark lol
And thanks misskate, your support is greatly appreciated xx
Totally understand!!! the darkness is my best friend atm! I've gone from a petite size 4 to 6 up to a 12 boarderlining on 14 for comfort! and I'm just under 5foot so I feel like I look like a little beach ball rolling around the bed! in the past I've teased the s**t out of him all night while watching t.v then by the time it comes to dtd, He's so worked up and frustrated, he explodes on impact and hardly any effort needed by me. Or another thought.... You could put in such an AMAZING amount of effort and go SO far over the top and really drain him for every bit of life he has in him then he'll be too scared to ever ask for it again or a long, long time anyway!! just make sure you have an ice-pack handy for him if you do take that option, and becareful not to giggle when he walks funny for a few days!
lol, id be too scared to put in a big effort session lol, cause i know he'll expect it all the time then, and normal sex would be too 'boring'.
We won a romantic getaway weekend through our local show, and so we are booked into this stone cottage on a voineyard for a weekend.
Im so scared ill be expected to dtd all weekend. Its out near where my parents live, and so i was hoping to visit my mum for most of the time, and just go back to the cottage to basically sleep lol
Just reading through the posts, I'm with you first_time_mummy, I have had NO sexdrive from almost day 1. Although I was sick from 6weeks until 15weeks. But even now that I'm not throwing up my sex drive doesn't seem to have returned.
I still have trouble putting some foods in my mouth that I used to LOVE, so I completely understand your aversion to anything 'oral' ..LOL
Hormones are amazing but sometimes cruel things!! It will all settle down eventually and your DP sounds like he understands, unfortunately having crazy hormones doesn't help you see how understanding he is sometimes and they can make you paranoid about thing you don't need to worry about in the end.
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No sex drive (TMI)
I feel terrible....
..LOL
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