Baby shower etiquette

[surprised]

I know this is a bit of a hairy one, because some of you will have had baby showers, and some won't. So let's all play nice

My question is what is the purpose of a baby shower, and is there a perception out there that they are just a chance to get presents?

I would like to have one, but I feel torn, because I don't want to seem greedy. In the past when I have been to one I've been happy to be invited, and would just buy something in my budget. But I've read and heard comments along the lines of "have a baby shower - then you'll get everything you need".

I haven't had the chance to have a get-together with female friends since my wedding, so I'd really like to see them all.

What do other people feel when they are invited to one, and if you did or didn't have one, what was your reasoning?

[NaeNae]

I have never been to one myself and I have mine coming up in about 3 weeks time.

For me personally its a chance to get together with my gal pals and celebrate firstly making it so far into my pregnancy, and secondly the soon to be arrival of my little princess.

I am not fussed if people buy gifts or not, as long as they come and share in my happiness thats all I really want. I have created a list of things I would like for those that want to know, but I certainly would hate for people to feel obligated to buy something. I just want some good girly time, I so rarely have that anyway.

Nae x

[amberj]

I reckon that in some ways they are a way to get presents- but that's ok. Part of the whole point is that you need a LOT of stuff for a baby, and this is a way your friends can help you with what you need. Its kind of like your female community rallying around you helping set you up. Its like a glory box, but for a baby! I'm always happy to buy a present for someone for a baby shower because I know how much I appreciated what I received.

Its also, of course, a really nice bonding event, a special marker of your pregnancy, and just fun! You can play all sorts of silly games and have good girl time, and listen to the wisdom of other mothers. We lack so much community in our world and I think these kind of rituals are important (but that's a whole other rant!!)

I think baby showers are a right of passage, and they are all about providing for a new mum- both in 'stuff' and in support and guidance. I highly recommend having one!

[foreva*your*mummy]

I have never had one and I have never been to one, BUT I would have to say if i was invited to one i think they would be lots of fun.

The thing with the presents im not sure about is if you go to a shower and buy a present do you then get something else for that person when the baby is born? People I know have usually brought me something when our babies have been born? just a thought. Maybe if you put on the invite something like would love a get together??
Good luck

[infinity]

Hi surprised,

I'm currently planning a baby shower for my sister. I think that every mum to be deserves a special afternoon with her female friends to celebrate the fact that she will be bringing a baby into this world. Pregnancy is a very special time and should be celebrated. I think baby showers serve many functions, one is to catch up with all the girls who are important to you before you become a mum in one place, so that the mum to be doesn't have to run around in those last few months visiting or entertaining multiple guests. another is for other mum's to be able to give you their 'pearls of wisdom'.

If presents are involved - hooray! it only makes the afternoon even better .

I love being invited to baby showers, and just buy a present that is within my budget.

As long as the mum to be wants a shower then I'm all for them. I hope you decide to have a shower and have a great time - can you get someone else to organise for you though?

[NaeNae]

[QUOTE]

The thing with the presents im not sure about is if you go to a shower and buy a present do you then get something else for that person when the baby is born?

I don't think there is any hard and fast rule that says yes or no to that, good point though. I guess the other thing to consider is WHO is invited to the baby shower.

Mine is mainly friends and only 2 of my SIL's, I figured my extended family would be far more interested in coming to see me once I have someone to show them

Nae x

[briggsy's girl]

For me personally its a chance to get together with my gal pals and celebrate firstly making it so far into my pregnancy, and secondly the soon to be arrival of my little princess.

I am not fussed if people buy gifts or not, as long as they come and share in my happiness thats all I really want. I have created a list of things I would like for those that want to know, but I certainly would hate for people to feel obligated to buy something. I just want some good girly time, I so rarely have that anyway.

Nae x

Nae has said it pretty much the way i felt!
i loved the idea of catching up with people before DD arrived. the reality is, it's damn hard to catch up with people on YOUR terms when baby arrives. and even if you do, you're going to be somewhat distracted. i actually had two baby showers - one here at home with all the people i've know all my life - the people local who had been here physically to support me through a lot of stuff, not just the IVF and pregnancy. i had a second one in Melb with BB friends - those that were there to support me through all the IVF emotionally. some of them couldn't make it due to distance to travel, but that was my reasoning. i wasn't doing it for presents, it was a chance to catch up with the people who'd been there for me. i had a great time (M/S aside - that kinda dampened it a bit!)

i did get some lovely presents for DD - not the normal things you'd expect though - things i didn't even think of but have used HEAPS - obviously people that were already mummy's (or working with mummy's) had more idea than me on what i'd use!

i'm going to Nae's shower. am looking forward to meeting up with her!

[HotI]

Why do you want one? do you want presents (toys,clothes,toiletries) or do you just want to get together with your mates?

I think you can make it what you want.

I went to one, and everyone was asked to bring their favourite book from when they were little for the bub. It was really good seeing all the different books that were given.

[DoubleK]

for me, i had a baby shower with DD1 because i wanted to get together with all the girls in my family who i hadnt seen for a while, and also, i had a cousin who was a week ahead of me.. so it was a good chance to catch up!

i didnt expect presents, but i knew i would get some- which ranged from a teddy bear, to a huge tub full of baby stuff!

i have been to a couple of baby showers, and bought a gift within my budget. i think thats fair enough.

if you were adamant you didnt want presents, you could say so on the invite... otherwise, i think people would bring a gift anyways!

[Fuzzywuzzy]

[QUOTE=DoubleK;1944123]for me, i had a baby shower with DD1 because i wanted to get together with all the girls in my family who i hadnt seen for a while, and also, i had a cousin who was a week ahead of me.. so it was a good chance to catch up!

i didnt expect presents, but i knew i would get someQUOTE]

:yeahthat:

I had 2 baby showers as well. One at my house with my close friends and work friends and another one with all of my family which my mum organised and i flew up for the weekend. The family one was purely a chance to catch up and for mum to go a little bit crazy in preparation for her first grandchild.

[Glamourcide]

I didn't have a shower for either of my girls, purely because I really only have one or two friends who live in town - everyone else lives a million miles away and it would have been waaayyyy too hard to get them all together - their social calendars are pretty packed!!
But I love being invited to showers, although I've only been to one (the other ones were out of town and we just couldn't make it, so I sent presents in the mail). It was a pretty small one, just her female relatives and me (as our men have been mates since high school and we were due just a few weeks apart), we all brought small gifts and just sat around the dinnertable all afternoon yarning about kids and eating cheesecake

I did hear of one friend being invited to a baby shower where the mum-to-be sent out her 'gift registry wishlist' with the invites - which sounds fine so that you don't get doubles of everything, but apparently there was not ONE single item on her wishlist that was under $150!! To me, that sounds a bit greedy, like you really do intend your baby shower to 'set you up' so you don't have to buy any big-ticket items... needless to say her guests weren't impressed and most just bought smaller gifts that were in their budget. But I don't have a problem buying a gift for a shower, I usually try to get something more for mum rather than bub, as I know I felt pretty ignored throughout my pregnancies... it was all, 'How's the baby?' 'Baby baby baby baby blah blah' and I was like, 'Wth am I, a cheese sandwich? Why doesn't anybody ask me how I'M feeling?!'.

To me, a baby shower is a chance for you to get together with the girls for an afternoon (or brunch, whatever ) and celebrate your impending motherhood. Gifts are optional, but obviously much appreciated

[surprised]

Glamourcide - with a name like that, I'm sure you're so much more than a cheese sandwich - you'd at least have a little pickle too

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful and helpful replies! It's good to know that if I do have one, people will probably be excited about coming, rather than offended!

[Inanna]

What about a Blessing Way?

This is where "Baby Shower" originated. It isn't about gifts or games it's about holding a positive Energy for the Mama and her baby. Letting her know she is "showered" with loving support during her birthing.
There are many rituals that can take place & there are things that can be said to the Mother. Sometimes the Mother is massaged, bracelets or necklaces are made for the mother - and always it's about connecting with Women.

It's about holding a positive Energy with the Women there and that united that Feminine energy will guide the baby's way...

Just a thought!

I have never been to a baby shower nor had one. But I have been to and had a Blessingway for each of my live babies....