My plan to wean the night feeds

[kelebek]

I am after your advice, help and support. DS is just over 18mnths and I am proud to still be bf We currently feed once through the day (unless he is sick) once just before bed but two or 3 times overnight

He will wake from about midnight and I then go sleep with him and feed him back to sleep. I have always said I would follow his lead but never seriously thought he would still be feeding at 18 mnths as my sister fed her DS until 13 mnths and that was the longest in my family.

So dp is going away for 2 nights in a week or so and I plan on using this time to encourage him to drop these feeds.

I am going to make sure he is well and he is not too upset from teething as he has just got his 2nd molar through and the first hasn't finished. I have thought of just cuddling him back to sleep and if that doesn't work giving him a bottle of water.

Am I missing something? I don't really want to introduce a bottle but don't want to risk spilling water on him from a cup. Is it mean/wrong to want to wean these feeds?

If you got this far thankyou.

[kelebek]

[maybe baby]

I can't really give advice as DD gave up night feedings by 10 weeks and DS by 6 months! But I think its fine to do if you are ready for it. Its not a food thing - its a comfort thing

[thepixie]

I'm a bit in the same boat with my DD who is 13 months.... unfortunately she just cries/ screams till she gets the boobie I have tried cuddling. but good luck, I completely understand and support you 100%. I know it has worked for others on here so hopefully they will drop in with some tips. GL

[MrsFabuloso]

I have found that if I feed DS more in the day time, he's less likely to wake much or at all in the night. Maybe introduce another day feed if you can?

[onthefly]

Finally biting the bullet, hey?
First up, I would say that you need to be really, really ready for this. The first few nights are going to rough.
Second, you might find it's easiest to stop the feeding by getting your DH to settle him in the night. or else finding some other way to settle him - ie, cuddles might seem too much like a prelude to bf to start with. Eg, I had to jump from bf-to-sleep to standing up & singing before returning to lying down together.

The advantage of doing it at this age is that he is old enough that you might be able to strike some sort of deal with him in regards to feeding - ie, extra during the day and none at night or something like that.

I've posted about this before, but we night-weaned DS at 14 months. He was so very angry and screamed his head off at first. DH went to him all night the first couple of nights, then needed a break, so I took over half way through the night for the next few nights and just held out as long as I could before feeding him, until eventually he was falling asleep from sheer exhaustion then having his feed at wakeup time. It took probably 2 weeks before he stopped asking for it altogether. He hasn't stopped waking up, btw

Good luck!

[~Kaz~]

Hey I am not up to this point yet so feel free to dismiss this as coming from someone without any IRL experience but could you try feeding him for less time to start with? So if his feeds normally go for 10mins, just keep your eye on the time and drop it down a minute or two every few days until he's only feeding for a minute or two. It might be easier to have him accept a cuddle in place of a very short feed.

Dunno, just an idea. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[Snacks]

Maybe Jennifer13 might pop in here... When she night-weaned her DD she told her that the boobs were asleep I think its cute!

[Marlene]

subscribing to this thread as DS is 17 months and I want to night wean too

[~clover~]

Hi hun. Offering my full support.

I'm trying to con Jesse out of night feeds too. He has anywhere from one to two, but the first (middle of the night) is really hard. He's decided that after this one he doesn't want to let go & if I let him do it on his own he'll end up rolling over or something & it'll end up just being dragged out...teeth & all. Its getting painful & scary to do this one feed!

Once I managed to get him to roll around to sleep & I've tried rubbing his back, but after a while its pretty clear he doesn't want to settle, so I give in... Then spend 10 - 20 minutes trying to convince him to let go, tickling his chin, saying 'let go', 'off boo now'... Eventually it usually works.

Steer clear of bottles & pop tops. Try to keep the sippy thing on a cup as flat as possible & only ever water...go through my FB pics & look at Bri's teeth. Pop tops. I only finally got her completely off them about 6 months ago.

Its gonna be hard. Make sure you catch up on sleep through the days & you should be able to do it
GL hun xx

[kelebek]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

DP won't help which is why I was waiting for him to go away for 2 nights before starting, the theory being by the third night DS will not resist so much and dp might be able to help (dp doesn't handle DS crying very well )

I think he is getting a third molar so I don't think I can go threw with it... will wait until Friday to see how he is before I make a decision.

Thanks BJ, I think the midnight is going to be the hardest too as he really seems to wake up and feeds for the longest then. The others are more just a comfort thing I think. I have tried cuddling him and a few times it worked but he is really getting attached to his boo again which is cute but....

I am being really selfish wanting to night wean really like Marcellus said I don't think it is going to stop him from waking up. How do you resettle Marcellus??
I have my sisters hen's party coming up in Jan, her wedding in Feb, my 30th in March and would love to go away for the june long weekend. I would love to be away for the nights.... I am prayinng if he isn't night wean that he doesn't wake up like your DS Marlene for your night out (luv the photo's btw ) but there is no way dp will agree to let me go away in June if he isn't weaned

[~clover~]

Naaw! Don't tell me he calls it boo too! lol! These boys are so much alike!
June is a long way away hun. He might have self weaned by then. At least over night. Jesse was there...he started sleeping through & really only had boo 2, maybe 3 times in 24 hours. Then the teeth started...for the first time in 10 freakin months!!!
2 down the bottom, plus 2 molars. Skipped the eye teeth, so still have them & the other 2 molars to go. Trust them to rear their ugly heads just as we are settling down a bit & getting some sleep!!
I'm just going to try & stick these teeth out & see how things go then... Just hope they all happen quick now!

[Marlene]

I would love to be away for the nights.... I am prayinng if he isn't night wean that he doesn't wake up like your DS Marlene for your night out (luv the photo's btw

I just could not believe it that he slept through! Why would he sleep 12 hours straight (for the the first time ever!!) on the only night that I'm not here to enjoy the sleep?? LOL
He woke twice again last night...I just don't get it

Good luck hun, I feel your pain

[aussienic]

Night weaning for me wasn't to bad this time around. DD was 9 months old though and I was getting so tired as she just wouldn't sleep. So when she woke I started offering her water from a sippy cup.. At first she was not impressed at all. It probably took about a week but then when she woke it was just to cuddle rather then feed..

I used to tell her (as she got over 1) that Boo was all empty (we called it boo boo) and she would have to wait till the sun was up to have more

[Twin Sister]

We started night weaning with DS at 9 months, but it took until 11 months until he was fully night weaned. We started by dropping one feed at a time. The first one to go was the 1am/2am feed. When DS would wake up crying I would give him a soother, tell him "no boobie now, it's time to sleep", and lie him back down in his crib (we placed a portable crib at the foot of our bed so I could reach him quicker). When he got up right away I would quietly lay him back down. I would repeat this until he gave up and went back to sleep. The first night it took 2 hours! The second night 1 hour. The third night 1/2 hour and so on and after a week the feed had been dropped. We left things alone for another week and then started with the next feed. It was exhausting but worth it in the end when DS would sleep through the night, allowing us to sleep through the night as well.

If you have to give him something, a sippy cup of water would be better than a bottle. Friends of mine got in this habit though and their 2.5 year old still wakes up in the night crying for a sippy of water. For us it was just easier not to get into that habit, though we did rely on a soother to get us through. If DS wakes in the night now though he can put himself back to sleep.

Good luck, i hope it goes quicker for you than it did for us.

[onthefly]

my boy calls it nya-nya. in fact, he refuses to call me mum, but says nya-nya instead.

I tried cutting feeds shorter to begin with - thought that would be gentler. But it just didn't work for us. It really had to be all or nothing. Delaying fees might work.
I told DS that 'milk is sleeping' - it got so that he would scream blue bloody murder if I uttered this phrase.
You could try telling him it's empty or finished. Some kids like to cuddle up to the boobs or just touch them and will accept that rather than milk.

I honestly think it'll go a lot easier for you and your DS if your DP could just suck it up for a few nights....(sorry if that sounds a bit harsh) cause your DS associates you with boo = comfort. Whereas he would have completely different associations with his daddy.

As for resettling - i guess it just depends on the kid. As I said, to begin with (and still now when he's sick or particularly unsettled) I stood and rocked him while singing (lucky he's not too big). Then when he got used to doing that instead of feeding, I lay down with him. At first with him lying on top of me, then next to me with his head on my shoulder. Sometimes I still have to sing for him.

You never know, he might stop waking up... but anyway I don't think it's selfish. you've given to him for this long and you're not cutting him off completely - if you feel the need for a break overnight then it's fair enough; you've earned it.

[kelebek]

I have tried cutting his feeds shorter but he still works himself up as he wants to relatch again.

There is no chance of getting dp to help and tbh he doesn't handle DS crying very well and I would have to step in as I don't like the way he would try and resettle him

So I just thought I would update... dp went fishing a night earlier then planned (last night) and DS woke like clock work at 12 am. I went in and just cuddled him to sleep and told him that boo was empty and asleep. He went back to sleep and mostly grizzled but didn't work himself up. I slept with him as usuall. Unfortunately I don't have a clock in the room but I remember DS woke at least another 2 times so on the 3rd wakeup I thought it would have to at least be after 4am.... and as I thought I would take it slow by putting him off and cutting out the first feed or so I fed him.

I went to the toilet and found out it was only 2.30 am but he slept through to 5 am and as I didn't want to get up for the day I fed him then back to sleep

We will see what tonight brings, plan on doing the same thing... cuddle him back to sleep provided he doesn't work himself up too much. Try that a for about 4 wakeups before feeding him.

[~clover~]

Good luck hun. Jesse gets hysterical if I try to refuse. & won't be cuddled without it, so makes it harder.