swapping DDs custody to XP?

[tattoo_mama]

i havent made a full decision yet but due to my mental state XP and i are thinking of swapping our roles, e.g. i usually have DD 5 nights a week and he has her 2 nites, i receive the parenting payments and CS and pay for everything for DD, so swapping that completely around...
does anyone know how you go about this, law wise and centrelink wise? even though hes her dad does he still get the parenting payment or do only mums get it (tbh i have noooo idea)
also do we have to go thru court or can we just 'swap' (our current situation is a verbal agreement, no court involvment)
also cause i had a VRO on him but it was lifted before it reached court, does that make any difference to how often hes 'allowed' DD?

pls dont judge me, i would just like some good advice or anyone whose experienced this... TIA

[Lulu]

Parenting Payment will go to him, but he will have to apply. You just notify what date the change of care happens so there is no overpayment.

PP goes to the main carer of the child. You don't need court.

However - is there a chance you could just do 50/50 care instead? You still get a break.

I know things are still up and down for you and exH - I'd hate this to bite you on the butt later. You might find it hard to get DD back if he decides he wants to keep the arrangement permanently...or if he gets narky and weird etc

[BrightSparkles]

Definatly seek some independent legal advice.
It sounds like a massive decision your making so you want to make sure that if something happens (lets hope it doesn't) your covered.
I hope it all works out for you in the end hun. xx

[Ryatha]

hi emma

I know you are going through a rough time and we would never judge you

DH used to work for CSA and I just quickly asked him. He said that if it is a private arrangement, you can just agree that you are changing with each other and then notify both centrelink and CSA about the changed circumstances. Your case manager will then let you know what that means for your CSA payments.

In regards to the VRO, I have no idea, sorry.

Goodluck hun, I know you are doing the best you can.

[briggsy's girl]

c'link wise - FTB, you ring up, he does an online application - very straight forward - all you need to do is let them know the change in care percentage. he will need to do a bit more, but you just need to notify of reduction in care percentage. as he is the one wanting more money, he needs to do all the paperwork on that end. so long as you notify within 14 days, you'll be fine. CSA you'd hve to notify and they would reassess

parenting payment is available to either parent - but is income dependent - so if he has a job with a reasonable income, he may not qualify. you would have ot go onto newstart allowance

[TTCALoveChild]

I agree also Definatly seek some independent legal advice. and i agree with Lulu..
If you can try and stick with how you have them now but have him have her maybe 4 nites a week instead 2 and that would still leave you with what 3 nites? Atleast that will give you alittle break.. but i wouldn't be doing any major changes knowing that down the road you want everything back the way it was and he might fight you on that...

Best of luck and i'll be that everything gets better for you!
Anita

[Trillian]

I can't answer any of your questions, but I do have loads of for you.

[Jas]

I think mum1984 gave some great advice there.

I just wanted to give you a huge

Also do you have someone close to you that you could talk this through with that wouldn't judge you??

[Muppity]

I don't have any advice either - just wanted to send my support - you WILL get through this and it will all be OK

[ElleJay]

Sending many hugs hun

[~ Mylitta ~]

He said that if it is a private arrangement, you can just agree that you are changing with each other and then notify both centrelink and CSA about the changed circumstances.

My DH and I just went through something very similar. His two son's were mostly in the care of his ExW and then they made the choice to live with us, so they are now living primarily in our care now. We did pretty much exactly what Ryatha has said. We didn't have to involve the courts or lawyers or anything. We just did an online application for payments through centrelink stating how often we have them in our care (which is what your Ex will have to do) and I assume that you would just let them know the change in your share of the care to avoid overpayment (although centrelink are pretty quick to notice those sorts of things and would probably notice straight away that the share of care of bubs does not add up). We've always done the child support between just the two party's (not through the CSA) and we use the online child support calculator to make sure everyone is getting what they deserve (although things were never "fair" here until recently, but that's a whole other story, lol!).

Good luck with everything sweetness!

[Queen]

no advise really hun, just some
take care

[Glamourcide]

Biiiig hugs, honey bun. The other girls have some fantastic advice for you, this is a big decision and I know you'll make the right one for you and DD, I just want you to make sure you have back-up plans in place in case something happens, kwim? Talk to someone who knows what they're on about, and decide from there how to go about doing it. Keep us posted, sweetie All the best with it! *hugs*

[kelebek]

no judgement here and you have been given some great advice.... I do have plenty of these