Can't decide what now.... long bleurgh post ;)

[Fleur]

Just need to get this out...maybe will help me have a clearer look at it....

Well we are nearly at the 6mth mark EE & I think I am going to have to make a decision.
Until now I have been thinking 'well we will just see how we are going then' but the truth is it's really hard right now - I'm back at work 2 days a week, we have all kinds of stuff going on with the kids, we are really busy & finding the time to express is hard!

And I am so tired of pumping during the night, I don't mind getting up to feed, that's only 15-20 minutes & back to bed but if I express it's an hour or more, then I'm wide awake & can't get back to sleep. Also Arlea is an early riser, so if I get up to pump at say, 3am, I don't get back to be until 4:00, and then we are usually up again at 5:30.

So the last couple of weeks I have missed so many night pumps, I just couldn't get up - and last night I went 9 1/2 hours
the plus side is, it has reduced my supply a bit, I had trouble even going 6 hours a couple of months ago - but still 9+ is a bit long. I am expressing heaps in the morning but my last pump last night was down quite a bit (for me). Still I have had such an oversupply that I think maybe this is a good thing, not a bad thing. It just means instead of expressing 2 or 3 feeds per pump, I might get one & a half, and have to mix & reheat milk - right now she has feeds every 3 or so hours, and I am expressing 4-5 hourly through the day, but I'm always 2 feeds ahead & she has it at room temp. If my supply drops I will have to mix batches & heat it. ITMS.
But that's not really a problem - not like I won't have enough milk - just that we will have to do it a bit differently.

We have started solids, and I want to keep giving her BM because of this - not just because of the allergies thing but to lessen the impact on her digestive system - I think the change to solids is enough without changing to formula at the same time IYKWIM? and if we go a bit longer then we may as well go all the way & never have to use formula at all. Not that I have a problem with it if we have to, but if we don't, well good. And it will be cheaper not to FF of course.

I am stuck...

Sorry for such a big bleurgh post! well done if you made it through all that

[Jas]

Wow well first of all that is amazing that you have been ee fr 6months and that you can get so much at one pumping session

I can see it would be a hard decision, it almost seems like you have answered your own question, it doesn't seem to me like you would feel comfortable stopping??

I don't know what to say because I have never been a member of the ee club and I can only fathom the work it takes. Also I am in the same situation with deciding when to wean ds1, whether I will stop bf at 12months or not and my miond flips back and forth, I guess I have come to the conclusion that I know I can't wean today but eventually I will get to a point where I feel ok to wean. I think it will still be a sad time for me but I will feel like it is a time I am ready to wean?? So maybe its just a matter of going with the flow and weaning when you are ready?

Also I think that even if you keep going past the 6month mark doesn't mean you would have to go o 12 (I can understand that thought process though...its like well I got past that marker so I have to make it to the next)

[MantaRay]

Jasp, you have done a fantastic job to maintain such a great supply for 6 months. That is a lot of dedication and hard work!!

I think you have answered your own question to - it does help to get it all written down. A lot of research has shown that continuing to bf beyond the introduction of solids helps to reduce the allergy risk and other complications, so you have done really well to do this.

I wonder if it would help you to add an extra express in during the day and permanently cut out the night one? I know it is difficult during the day also, but this might be one thing to consider, even if it's only on the days that you don't work.

I hope you figure out something that will work better for you

[Fleur]

Thanks, Jas & MR
You're right, I think I have answered my question getting it all out did help.

I don't want to stop just yet. Emotionally I don't feel ready which probably sounds stupid since I'm not physically BFing, well it feels weird to me to feel like that anyway.

whether I will stop bf at 12months or not and my miond flips back and forth, I guess I have come to the conclusion that I know I can't wean today but eventually I will get to a point where I feel ok to wean. I think it will still be a sad time for me but I will feel like it is a time I am ready to wean?? So maybe its just a matter of going with the flow and weaning when you are ready?

- that is exactly where my head is at I don't feel ready yet but I don't know when I will be.
And I'm sick of night pumps!
MR I love the idea of ditching them & just expressing through the day, that would be great. I am going to have a look at how I might do this...any suggestions welcome (please!) - also, do you think it matters if I do it one way for 5 days & another way for 2 days of the week?

Thanks again

[Kmn]

You have done an awesome job.
I think that you should decide how often you can handle expressing and do that. And then make up whatever you don't have with food and water and formula - without any guilt whatsoever. My feeling is that if you can manage a lesser level of expressing for a longer period (ideally one which would get Arlea through trying most solids) then that would be the best option.

[*EJ*]

I can't give any advice from personal experieance but i just wanted to say you have done a FANTASTIC job to get this far ee. Sounds like you have a great supply

The decision you make will be right for you and your little girl

[MantaRay]

Mums who are bfing when they return to work find that their supply adjusts to feeding less often on work days (generally mums express fewer times at work then they would feed at home). So I am sure it would be the same for you - if you express more often some days your supply should adjust accordingly.

I forget now what sort of pump you are using - are you double pumping? If not that might be an option for you to consider. Also I have heard of mums who have worked out how to pump hands free with certain types of maternity bras that hold the pump in place, so that might help you to get an extra pump or two in while you are doing other things.

I'll try and think of some other ideas for you too.

[Fleur]

Yep, I'm using an Ameda Purely Yours double electric. I've cut holes in 2 of my old bras to hold the pump - mostly I get on the computer when I'm expressing, I can do work from home while expressing - if I'm not on BB lol.

The hard part really is fitting it in through the day, for example on Monday we (the kids) have a Dr appt at 11, a dance display at 12:30, a physio appt at 4:40 and have to fit in a trip to the high school for bookpacks. So fititng in 3 or 4 expresses is going to be hard!
Of coure not every day is like that, but it's those days that make me feel frustrated. Add to that getting up overnight...

The other thing is that I usually express for 30 - 45 min at a time, because of my supply, then wash up - so the whole thing takes about an hour.

I guess I should just be reducing my supply but I have a big mental block when it comes to that :s

ETA - geez, sorry if that all sounds very negative & sooky - it really is helping me work through it all by 'talking' about it here - so thank you

[Kmn]

This may sound like nagging but...
If you can keep the pump bits cold then you don't have to wash them every time - I used to stuff mine back in the fridge or esky and only wash once a day. Or - hunt around on ebay for extra pump bits!
You don't have to express until you are empty every time - if you need to go and do something then it's OK to partly empty (although you'll find that you need to express again sooner than you might of otherwise).
Do you have a battery back for your pump? Waiting room time may as well be put to good use! In my experience of pumping while working, single sided pumping can be done without much flashing if you have a very very big t-shirt (like a maternity one or guys xxxl). I never got the hang of discreetish double pumping though.

[Fleur]

Not nagging at all KMN! It's helpful, thank you!

really, can you just keep pump parts cold? I never knew that I though t they had to bve washed every time. That would save me a bit of time, especially if expressing until part empty.
Good ideas

[MantaRay]

You sound very organised hun. Sometimes it can be easier to express for a shorter time more often. Would that be easier for you?

[Fleur]

Hmm... I think it might be.
I might try it for a few days. Does it matter if I pump often through the day & then go 8 or so hours overnight?

[Kmn]

Shouldn't matter - that's the ideal for a lot who bf (when our bubs are beautifully behaved and feed often in the day and sleep through the night!). It may take a couple of days for things to adapt - as long as you hand express at least if you feel uncomfortably full you should be fine.

[Fleur]

Shouldn't matter - that's the ideal for a lot who bf

Of course it is
Sometimes I forget that's kind of how it works I get all hung up on times etc, but if I were BFing I wouldn't be watching the clock so much... I feel kinda silly, lol.

Thanks again guys

[MantaRay]

Not silly at all hun It's true that hormone levels are highest at night, so expressing at night can be a good thing. But in your case your supply seems to be going really well, and your little one is at an age now when some babies are sleeping through. I think that if you are expressing frequently during the day you should be ok with not expressing at night. It's certainly worth giving it a try if it will make things easier for you. I hope it makes life easier for you

[belfie]

Oh Jasp hun, you are doing an amazing job and should feel SO proud of yourself. Sounds like you're doing some lovely productive thinking outloud too.

Couple of quick thoughts that may be helpful (sorry gotta run this morning - so dot point!)

• supply till 12mths - you might surprise yourself by managing fine even if dropping the night pump
• I agree with what hte others said - don't pump as long maybe? It's probably not making a huge difference that extra time.
• I know that at 6 months it seems a huge jump to 12 months... chunk it down to smaller goals if you decide to keep going for a bit. I found it was really daunting at that point
• and remember, even if it's not exclusive EBM, it's still beneficial. When i was struggling a dietician did point at that even some EBM would be good - so if your supply does drop a bit, but it's maintainable lifestyle-wise... is that an option?

And the only other thing - I found from about 7-8 mths it did get HEAPS easier once solids were in the picture...I was pumping only 3 times a day (and I never had a huge supply). So remember if you keep your hand-in, you've got the option to potentially ramp it back up or pull it back at any time. I was surprised how high my supply stayed when I pumped less. I still did pump to "empty" but less often.

Us EE'ers get so used to thinking all or nothing (well I certainly did) that sometimes it's good to remember it could be shades of grey too.

Thinking of you.
Belfie

[Fleur]

Us EE'ers get so used to thinking all or nothing (well I certainly did) that sometimes it's good to remember it could be shades of grey too.

That is so true. I think I had lost sight of the fact that there is an 'in-between'.

3 pumps a day!!! That sounds woooonderful....I might make it my new goal

Right now I am feeling quite ok about continuing. I think tht I can make it to 12 months but I might make 9 mths my new short term goal.
I can't decide yet whether it would be easier to express more through the day, and not overnight, or go longer through the day & keep an overnight pump....it really depends on the particular day.
But I think what I need to do more than anything is go with the flow a bit more, abnd not get so hung up on times etc - kind of do what works first & then see how that affects supply etc, ITMS.

Thanks you so much, all of you, for your advice, comments & support, it's amazing how much it helps, it really really does

[MantaRay]

That sounds like a great plan jasp. Best of luck!!