Insecurities..

[Butterfly Child]

We all have insecurities.. where human, but i was wondering what your insecurities are and how you cope/overcome them..?

Im having issues pop up and it seems to always flair up when im in a relationship.. its totally my problem but sometime find it hard to comunicate them to my partner, because it seems stupid and irrelevnt to anything hes done but more so my past relationships. So im wondering how others cope with insecurities in general xx

[Lulu]

If I am feeling out of control in my reactions.....I just STOP. I do what I need to do to feel comfortable again and approach it again in the new headspace.

I am a particularly impatient person and I find it hard that the head can reach a conclusion quickly but the heart lags behind.

Really - the only thing that helps me is time and space. Nowadays I refuse to approach something that bothers me until I am feeling relaxed in general, am away from the situation...and even then I need to de-brief with friends sometimes.

[CharlieBrownGirl]

Cognitive behavioural therapy. What is the likilhood x will happen? Thinking about it logically - what evidence do you have to indicate it is true?
I find cbt helpful when my mind tends to get overwhelming in thoughts.

[fionas]

I'm lucky that my relationships have always been very secure so I don't tend to feel insecure in relationships and second guess too much what the other person is feeling. There has been one BIG exception to that and my gut instinct that he didn't feel the same way as me (despite his assurances) proved correct.

However, I'm shockingly insecure at work. I know where it stems from but have basically never addressed it but plan to in the next couple of years by seeing a counsellor and confronting a few of my fears in a non-work environment first.

[Bathsheba]

I'm insecure about quite a few things... but the negative impact from them can ebb and flow... I think I am at the mercy of things like the phases of the moon and my health (for example) and am accutely aware of when I'm feeling fragile or resilient. I'm learning to adjust my behaviour accordingly. So i tend to fly under the radar when fragile and try to break new ground when resilient. The thing that is most helpful for me is to remember that both states are temporary. Fragileness does pass and when i'm feeling resilient it's a good time to "make hay", mend bridges and make some inroads into tasks that have been too daunting.

Sometimes the fragileness doesn't pass and then i seek help... talk to a GP or a trusted friend.

An enduring insecurity of mine is about appearances... possibly because it was the main thing I was teased about as a child. I also get a bit twitchy about "intelligence" because I was told by my mother that i was "thick" (mainly at maths) when i was young and to this day she still speaks to me in a condescending manner as if I am clueless... nearly every conversation i am told "You have NO idea girl" (LOL I'm 40! I may very well have no idea but I'm hardly a girl).

As I grow older though I think i have gained a bit of insight: the people who deliberately put me down are probably victims of their own securities! And if people seem to be getting really angry with me and I am fairly confident that haven't deliberately upset them that I figure I might have triggered an issue of their own. But then again I can be pretty "clue-less". I reckon that sometimes it's better to be clue-less than mean so re-organising your priorities also kinda helps And I'd rather be a damn fine artist than good at maths anyhow, so there!

don't worry, everyone has them.

[kawazuki]

this is a great post BC..

my insecurities are all about my apperance really.
i grew up with a loving familya dn parenst who never amde me feel out fo place etc with weight or my looks.
but dancing and being in an environment where you were expected to be a size 6 and have legs to your earholes and weigh 30kilos but still be fit enough to dance for 8 hours straight, i struggled i was always curvy from puberty and always had a bust, so i never fitted into teh description, i pushed on and almost made a career out of it but my body failed me, my knees gave in and i am always upset by that.

i feel awkward in my body most of teh time, the only time i havent felt awkward is when i am pregnant, so then i long to be pregnant to feel secure again. silly i know since kids are now a no no as we have our family

i also feel insecure at work, sometimes im made to feel liek i know nothing as i am only young, yet they dont realise i have done teh same study as them, no i dont have life experience they have but i have some and its alot more than i think i should have at my age.

i dont know how to fix it because i havent yet, i ahve tried many things but noone have worked.

i even get insecure in my marraige and not becaus eof anything hubby does but because i think he will leave me for a better person, one who is so insecure, yes i see the irony in this but cant help it.