Officially too far

[Inertia]

So my kids HS is hardly the best. They went into lock down today as a child attempted suicide. Wonder if they are going to take the hint yet that the problem rests with their inept and toothless anti-bullying programs.

However for mine it was almost a doubly bad day for that school.

Chez had her first day today - was not so great being associated with my family.. apparently we are "pov" and thus she got labelled with their increasingly uncreative "sewer rat" label. One day they will think of something new.. but this label is now 4 years old so I wont hold my breath.

But at the end of the day I was extremely grateful that Chez was there. Walking back to the car there were a bunch of boys that kept having a go at Chilly. Chez, Angel and A's friend E all walked in a group around him as their intentions were more physical than vocal and Chilly would likely get expelled if he gets caught in another fight. At this point Chez grabbed onto the loop on his backpack to stick next to him. One of the other boys shoved his way through the girls and pushed Chilly into oncoming traffic!! Chez thinking quick pulled on his backpack and pulled him back in, but then she turned around and went off. DH got out of his car and flew off the handle at them too then stormed up to the car the kid got into and told the woman in the drivers seat that if he ever does something like that again he will be calling the cops in on him.

We have been going through this cr@p through 2 schools. They are either blind or stupid - could be both! They are demanding Chilly get a paed evaluation to find out why he is so withdrawn and gets into fights! WELL HELLO! Open your freaking eyes!

I am thinking about calling in the DOE and reporting it to the police anyway. Thoughts?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I would definitely be getting Police involved - what would've happend if she hadn't pulled him back?! Sounds like the school is not doing enough, if anything, so the Police and DOE would be the next logical step.

to you and your family - kids can be real little jerks sometimes!

ETA - What did the parent say to your DH?

[RhiChiChi]

That is terrible & disgusting. I can't beleive the parent of the other kid who pushed Chilly just sat in the car - OMG!

I would call the cops - the cops will then come to the school and maybe the school will then take it more seriously.

[willow5]

That is disgusting! I'm yet to see a school with a good bullying policy, they're all talk no action IMO.

I would call the police, the school is obviously useless, having said that, the police may not be much better. I have seen them be equally as useless when it comes to that kind of thing too, maybe you'll have more luck where you are. But it sux when you see these bullies getting away with their behaviour.

Good luck I hope things get sorted

[krysalyss]

It is really crazy that you are not getting the support you need from the school. I would definitely be getting people involved at a higher level.

[Fleur]

It is really crazy that you are not getting the support you need from the school. I would definitely be getting people involved at a higher level.

:yeahthat:

hugs Inertia, and good luck getting it sorted.

[Inertia]

Sorry I havent replied to anyone here in ages, we have been no end of drama with this school recently. The end result so far has been that when Chez's grandmother discovered how serious it was getting there she made arrangements to move Chez in with her - glad I encouraged her to talk to her nan again because at least now she is safe from it all. We have also bit the bullet and made the ultimate decision to pick up stumps and move on (Among other reasons). I honestly do not like the idea of being 'chased out of town' by a pack of unruly 13 year olds, but I have to consider the safety of my entire family and they have over the holidays been riding past our house screaming abuse and obscenities at us so it just makes me worry how much worse it could get. Have put in our returns to get the supplements to have a bond ready and the money to go look well out of town. There is just nothing here for any of us.

Anyway, the worst of it was a few weeks back, the girls caught wind of a plan for 20 odd boys to beat up CJ the next day at school, so we kept him home. A friend of the girls saw another girl pull one of the boys aside and showed him the knife she brought to school for the fight until he told her CJ wasnt there that day. The friend told the girls who went straight in and reported it, then told us when they got home. DH called the school the next day and spoke to the acting deputy who told him "Yes we know about that and we have spoken to her and she has been told not to bring it again".... i kid you, that was ALL they did. They swept a student bringing a knife to school with intent to use it on another student under the rug!! I am utterly gobsmacked. We have been in touch with the DoE who are of course getting misdirected by the school about my kids refusing to enter classrooms (with kids known to cause them grief) and they are basically trying to turn it around and make it look like my kids are the problem and we are just a couple of parents wearing rose coloured glasses.

I never in my life dreamed it would be an us vs them thing. I cant take this. In a vain effort to protect their reputation they are running my kids down, sweeping serious offences under the carpet and basically lying to any authority we try and get to help. We have been left feeling choiceless. I mean we deal with the threats and abuse from these kids outside the school ground too now because the school has basically enabled it through inaction. Now despite us going in several times, they have never been punished so they have upped the ante. I barely get any sleep now I know they know where we live. I don't want to be in this situation any more. We are crying for help and when these people ask the school for information they make us out to be delusional nutcases.

I am not really expecting any advice. I dont really think there is anything more than can be done. I just wanted to vent and update you lovely ladies how this is going at the same time.

[squidipa]

i would be moving to if i was you good on you for doing so ur doing the right thing keeping your kids safe.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Have you contactd the police about the anti-social behaviour towards you and your household? That is seperate to the school so it shouldn't matter if the school pooh-poohs it: this is no longer "just some children who don't get on" but it is a gang of ferral children verbally abusing adults and very young children. The police don't have to get in touch with the DREADFUL school about this to find "fault" or have your children blamed: THEY are the problem in this case and NEED a criminal record (IMO).

[Inertia]

ty squidpa. It just seems to be the best most viable solution in the end.

Hey LZ. Not yet as I dont know their names. Angel and Chilly are thus far unaware that these kids are continuing their harrassment here and I havent yet got them to come out and identify the kids. I know I have to but I just hate the idea that i have to tell the kids about it. They feel safe here, iykwim.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Far out BR :shakeshead: Most schools are so useless when it comes to bullying - you'd think with school shootings and stabbings and fights posted on youtube they'd be a bit more 'aware'.

I agree with LZ (as usual ) - you've gone through the school and they've dropped the ball. On several occasions. I'd get the Police involved, firstly on the knife business, and then use that as a springboard to get to the anti social behaviour of these other kids. I know its hard, and you don't want to make your kids feel unsafe - but YOU don't feel that your family's safe. You've gotta trust your mummy instinct, and all of us can see that there's definitely reason not to trust these kids. By involving your kids, while they may be shocked and somewhat frightened by the knowledge that these kids are bringing it up a notch, they will also see what you're doing to keep them safe, by involving the police, even pursuing a restraining order if necessary. And then they'll feel safe again, in the knowledge that you pushed right back to protect your family.

[littlelara]

Wow. I keep thinking about your situation, wondering what I would do in your place, and I really have no clue.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, it must be so awful for you.
Is there an ombudsmen you can talk to or some higher power?
Whether you move away or not, these kids need to be held accountable and not given more power by being allowed to think they ran you out of town IYKWIM.
I hope you can find a place where you all feel safe x

[Fleur]

Oh man...that is awful. I'm so sorry you're going through all this & I wish I had something useful to say I agree though it's probably a good idea to move, I'd be doing the same. Not worth staying just to prove a point, you know?
I can't believe the school is so blase about it it must be frustrating beyond belief.

[mrsmac]

In NSW bringing a weapon to school is an automatic suspension so the school is being completely negligent in not suspending the child immediately.
Sadly I think moving is your best option, not really fair that children can drive you out of your home but it seems the only option left.

[LittleOnes]

BR - contact the media - ACA or today tonight. DOE and cops will immediately take action. I hope that you're through all this though and that this is no longer a problem for your family. You sound like great parents to me.

[kateo]

I am so so sad to hear what a tough time your kids are having in and out of school. Unfortunately schools have their hands tied so often and then by the time they should take action there is a slack deputy or head teacher who wasn't paying attention from the start and now finds it's totally out of control.
The boss at the high school next door to where I work suspended some boys last year and this stopped them being able to play on the footy team. They decided to vandalize his car....unfortunately my car looks just like his and it got attacked!
These kids were seen doing this and heard discussing it. I contacted police and basically it was "bad luck to me".
I believe due to some stupid teachers abusing their power teachers have now had so much power removed that they can't or aren't game to take real action. Often also the parents of those horrible bully kids bully the school too!
This is absolutely no excuse at all for the horrible behaviour of bullys that your children have been experiencing.
I think the experiences you are having are the outcome of schools having less power. It is because parents won't believe teachers when they say "Your child is being a bully" and back up the school. Instead we stupidly blame the victims....it's getting worse not better......
All I can say is stand up for your rights. See if you can find a social worker who is willing to go into the school and report the behaviour as it's happening.
Above all protect your precious children

[Inertia]

Thanks for the love ladies. We have recently moved out of that area completely. It was the only option left to us, but I have been far more proactive with ensuring nothing gets out of hand now. They both have friends really close by now so that is pretty awesome.

It is hard on them, I know. But in essence, the knife incident should not have been treated like a minor thing. It just showed that they were unwilling to assist in protecting my children. I simply could not leave that to chance.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Just FYI - I know laws are different here, but in the UK you HAVE to talk to the police about weapons in schools. If you don't, the school needs a huge invetigation. The police cannot fob off weapons. There is also no way they should fob off acts of vandalism: I'd be asking to speak to people higher up and if that didn't work putting in a written complaint.