how do you ever cope?

[Lewis's Mummy]

I'm home from hosp with ds2 and i know it's normal to have the blues... but is it normal to be wondering why you decided to have number 2? ds1 is 2 1/2 and everything was going well and now i feel like i'll never have time withhim again and i feel like that's so unfair to him. milk came in fnally last night and ds2 is feeding about every 2 hours for around an hour and even then doesn't necessarily settle. i'm terrified i'll get mastitis again - had it 3 times with ds1 n the first couple of months - and i can't afford to get that sick when it's not just a baby to be looking after... my npples are sore already and that plus the full feeling worries me. please tell me things will get easier and that having more than one is good. what sort of mother starts wishing her little bundle wasn't here?

[Mrs Jak]

Oh, you poor thing I know how you are feeling xoxox

I felt shocking when I left hospital after #2. (14 months ago) I had breastfeeding issues (and ended up with mastitis) and had the responsibility of another child like you have. (Though mine was 4 1/2, so a lot easier)

All I can say is - Yes, it will get easier and try and get as much sleep (I know, wishfull thinking...) and help as you possibly can in these first few weeks. Even to just have someone visit with you just to hold the baby, so you can have a break or spend some time with DS1.

I found 1 child pretty easy, but when #2 came along there was definately an adjustment period... Things are pretty great now.

I hope the feeding becomes easier for you too xoxo

[Michelle71]

A completely normal one It does get better. It is hard and TBH the first 6 weeks are hell. But it gets easier to manage and soon you can't remember or imagine a time without the two of them. BF takes time to settle in and sort out. Call in every favour you can and get some help for the next few weeks. A few hours of distraction for DS1, time for a nap for you while DS2 sleeps. Anything to get through these weeks but it will get better

[Winter]

what sort of mother starts wishing her little bundle wasn't here?

A NORMAL tired and emotional mumma that has just had a baby & whose hormones are running amok. Sweets, your feelings are perfectly valid, you're allowed to feel this way. It wont last, you know it wont, its just early days and you all have to get used to the new addition. Massive hugs my love, and congratulations on your baby.

[black_rose]

It's very overwhelming, I was a hermit for the first few months it didn't help that dd2 had night colic and got cranky whenever we took her out, finally worked out it was when she was in clothes. For some reason she hated them and wouldn't feed or settle until she was home in her grow suits again.

Once you settle into a routine it gets easier, going out becomes a joy instead of a horrifying thought.

I look at my two girls now and know it's worth it they kiss each other, follow each other around and dd1 is helping look after dd2 by getting her tissues or finding her milk bottle after a coughing fit it's so cute to watch.

[SammyRo]

A NORMAL tired and emotional mumma that has just had a baby & whose hormones are running amok. Sweets, your feelings are perfectly valid, you're allowed to feel this way. It wont last, you know it wont, its just early days and you all have to get used to the new addition. Massive hugs my love, and congratulations on your baby.

:yeahthat: I totally get what your feeling and no, you're not a bad mumma, just tired and emotional as Winter said. I remember a couple of nights when we'd got home that I'd be feeding DS or lying in bed in tears, telling DH that I couldn't do it. And it does get better, I promise. The feeding will settle down, you'll find ways to give attention to yuor first, while feeding your second, and all of a sudden everything will click! For us, the weeks just keep getting better and better, we still have our bad days when DD is in a funny mode or DS might want extra feeding or something, but mostly, its good!

hang in there, you're doing a great job!

[nickle730]

OMG, I vividly remember sitting with my DS at 3am while he screamed at me... and thinking "what the hell have we done????" Our age gap was 2 years 4 months and it was hard with a new baby. There were times I genuinely wished we hadn't had a second child, I thought things would never be ok again. But everything settles down and settles in and now I can't imagine only having one child. It's still very early days, things will get better. Make sure you talk to someone about how you feel and like the other girls said, accept all offers of help!

Congratulations and good luck!

[BhoysGirl]

What everyone else has said! I'm 6 weeks in, had feeding issues for the 1st 3 weeks or so, couldn't stop crying, then DH had to go back to the UK for his mum's funeral when DS2 was 4 weeks, and so I've been just totally utterly exhausted, physically & mentally. But, and I hope I'm not jinxing myself here, it does seem to be getting easier, DS2 is starting to become a litle more predictable, and is having some longer sleeps. He sometimes has to cry a whole lot more that DS1 ever had to, but only because I'm doing things for/with DS1 usually, which I don't like (DS2 crying, that is) , but I'm hoping that this too will even out over the next few weeks. Frozen dinners, a sling, and a fair bit of co-sleeping have been my saviours, and I'm turning a blind eye to the housework, except for the bare minimum. I also keep reminding myself that as far as DS1 is concerned, it's only going to be for a few weeks, in the grand scheme of a lifetime, so I'm trying not to stress too much about the fact that it sometimes feels like I'm being very unfair to him, in terms of time & attention. I am trying to make sure that I maintain our bedtime routine together, so that he gets at least something each day that's just about him. And like the others have said, accept any & all offers of help.

[Lewis's Mummy]

Thanks girls. I'm feeling a bit better now - my milk is in and feeds are starting to get better. We've started co sleeping when things get too hard and DS2 decides he needs to be with me after a feed at 1 or 2 am and won't settle. He's a chuckier baby than DS1 (whose chucks we could count on 1 hand) so maybe just takes a bit longer to settle after that feed than I remember DS1 needing. At any rate he's a little hot water bottle in bed with me on these cold nights. My mum has arrived like a knight in shining armour and if it weren't for her I'd never be feeling human. Fingers crossed it keeps going better from here. At least this time around I know there's no such thing as the cuddle police!!