What are your best tips for dealing with a newborn and almost 2 year old?

[Beautitude]

Time is going very quickly and my pregnancy is progressing very quickly so i was wondering for those who have done this before me, what are your best tips for getting through the first few weeks with an almost 2 year old and a toddler? What do you know now that you wished you knew before?

I am so excited to be meeting our new little man, as a second time mum i know what to expect with a newborn and i dont think i will have the fear of a newborn that i had with ds but at the same time i have never had to look after two babies at such different stages so that is what i fear a little.

[*LovemyKids*]

I have done this all before and about to do it again :-))))))) I found keeping 2yr old busy is best, although this is easier said then done.
1 Be prepared, have pencils, crayons and paper ready to go in a box or somehting incase of a cranky baby!!
2 When feeding have then remote so you can wack on a fav DVD for 2yr old, i know its not the best solution but sometimes it is needed!!
3 Don't push away 2 yr old when feeding baby, although i know you don't mean to i found by really trying to make these time as easy as possibleis best!
4 Have snacks and drinks ready for 2 yr old in fridge!! Prepare at night or first thing in morning so you are set for the day!!

You can not be organised all the time, but believe me it makes it easier. You willhave bad days but that is ok too!!! Goodluck and even though i have done it all before i am nervous as well!!!!!!

[AndiE]

Know how to count to 10 slowly ... ha ha, only messing with you (in a nice way!) I'm finding it a challenge some days, while the majority of the time both DSs are great - the age gap between my boys is 20 months.

I was fortunate that my parents were here for DS2's first three weeks, plus I have a very hands-on husband. So, I guess firstly I'd suggest you don't knock back any offers of (good) help if someone you know and trust is in a position to help you out. It will give you a little bit of breathing space that you may find very welcome in those first couple of weeks.

Um, some tips (and I'm still learning as I go!) ...

- It will take a few weeks to get yourself into the rhythm of having two littlies, so don't be hard on yourself or place undue pressure on yourself re: housework etc

- Try and organise yourself as much as possible beforehand (maybe a few frozen meals ready and a stocked-up pantry if you can)

- Before bub arrives, try and get DS1 into as solid a routine re: bedtime etc as you can and do your best to stick to it after bub arrives. That way DS1s world won't be rocked quite as much once the new bub arrives. And make any changes you need to make well before DS2 arrives (in our case we had to stop laying down with DS1 while he went to sleep as I didn't think it would be practical for me to lay down with him to sleep - could be up to 20-30 mins - while I had a newborn howling for food etc).

- My DS1 wasn't interested in drawing etc while I fed DS2, so () the TV then became our friend. Plus DS1 often brought me a book to read him, which I was happy to do. The TV will stop being our friend when DS2 is a little older ...

- Don't feel too guilty if you can't cuddle DS1 or whatever when DS1 immediately wants it. I wasn't prepared for how guilty I initially felt for not spending as much time with DS1 but the reality is, you can't focus entirely on DS1 while BFing etc. And you make up for it as best you can when DS2 is asleep etc. I found there was a transition period and we all had to adjust. Which we did, relatively easily.

- Trust yourself and your parenting skills, and recognise up front that some (most) days will be diamonds, some will be coal. But try and keep it all in perspective - at the end of the day you'll have a beautiful family and two boys who will grow up close in age and hopefully be close.

FWIW, my DS1 is brilliant with DS2. And although he sometimes likes to lay on him and take his dummy he thinks the sun shines out of DS2s backside. At the moment, anyway. And DS1 hasn't tested me or been overtly naughty while I've been BFing etc All in all, he coped with the arrival of his brother very well. As I'm sure your DS will too.

All the best!

[feeb]

First 6 weeks will be very hard but it gets easier!!!!
I have 18 months 4 days between my boys.

DS1 loves DS2 so much and wants to hold him and give him kisses all the time so I sit him on couch next to me and lay DS2 on his knee.

When feed time for DS2, I always make sure DS1 water cup is full and if getting close to a meal time, I would let DS2 cry for a short time while i get DS1 sandwich made or what ever so he can sit in high chair and eat and watch tv.

DVD's are your friend,

I had a bag with some books and small toys for feed times. DS1 also brings me things over like the shapo and I will open it and turn to shape for him to put them in.

Keep older childs routineas much as possible and involve him in the care of newborn as much as possible.

Good luck

[Salad]

I am just subscribing to this as I will be in a similiar situation in a few weeks.

[~StarBright~]

Me too!!! Thanks for starting the thread Beautitude and thanks everyone for all the tips and ideas!!

[beansbeans!]

Im with everyone else, try and keep the eldest's routine as much as possible, and involve them. The best advice I got was to ask Miss M things before I did them . ie: I would say to her, 'hmm Miss H is crying, do you think we should change her nappy? can you help me by finding her nappy?' etc. It worked really well. From day one Miss M was there to help me. From helping me with nappies, to testing the water temp for baths, getting face washers, finding her a blanket, toys... anything really. The more we involved her, the more she wanted to be around her. Even on the car ride home from the hospital I asked how Miss H was doing, and she would look over to check on her....
hth

[Roryrory]

GET THEM ADDICTED TO DVDs! LOL!

[Visitor7]

GET THEM ADDICTED TO DVDs! LOL!

I'm so embarrased to say, I did this with DD1 She NEVER used to watch tv when she was younger. And I mean never. So I had to kind of force it onto her just so I could get some spare time to attend to DD2.

The others have given you great suggestions though.

[maz]

Dont listen to the advice of others it will drive you insane hahahahhahhaha

follow your nose, learn your nursery rhymes and buy lots of books to read together.
Try not to push your eldest away when attending to the newest member, let them help and join in, even if your BF take that time to read a book. We use to sing about anything...
Best singing voice

Ohhhh look at Tankkk drinkinggg his boobie milk.......he looks happy
Look at his big sister next to me...she's going to help me change his nappy

I know stupid but she thought it was a hoot

oh and when all else fials, wack them in the pram and go for a nice longgggg walk..it helps calm the nerves

[black_rose]

GET THEM ADDICTED TO DVDs! LOL!

Same here dd1 never used to like tv now she loves the Disney playhouse channel, I also gave her dolls to look after which made a difference and asked her to help if I needed something. I try and find time to spend just with her and dh will take her out on her own. These days though the girls love to play with each other. Just about ready to go through it all again!

[Doing my best]

I found getting DD to help as much as possible helped a lot. Getting a spew rag, getting a blanket, getting the wipes made her feel so important.

I tried not to push her away, unless DS was asleep or extremely cranky, I let her nurse him whenever she asked.

Even though DS learnt very quickly to close his eyes when he wanted peace from his sister, it wasn't long until his eyes lit up every time she came near..

[KatieRabbit]

My DD was too young (23 months) too feel 'important' or 'helpful' doing/getting things for mummy and the baby! I found the best thing was to spend all my time with DD when DS was asleep- this involved cooking together, reading, playing games etc or just having a little walk outside. I would also spend an hour or two out the front with her when I knew DS was having a good sleep. The other thing I was warned about (and did happen with me) was that I may get cranky at the older one. Me being so tired and emotional and pulled between the two, and DD having a hard time too (dropped her day sleeps for some time) and playing up made me cranky at DD when she did something that would not normally bother me. FWIW I found it really tough- new baby was great, DD was ok but I found the pull between needing to be with each one at the same time very hard. But 6 months on, it is very easy and they are just gorgeous together.

[didispunk]

Time your feeds so that they nap in the afternoon at the same time.. GIVES YOU SOME TIME>. best thing i ever did!

[*EJ*]

A couple of little things i liked to do was not to make DS2 something that DS1 couldn't touch or be a part of. If he wanted hugs with him i always bent down with him in my arms and allowed it. If he wanted to touch him i let him but guided him to do it very gently. I just didn't want a dislike to come between the two of them because he's not allowed to touch him or go near him.

With DS1 he became really effectionate and wanted lots of hugs and kisses from me. I loved it!!! And i always made myself available to him as best i could.

I actually found the transition of being a family of 3 to 4 a beautifuly enjoyable one. And i hope you do too.

By the end of the year we'll be a family of 5 and i'll have to get my head around a transition with an almost 4 year old AND an almost 2 year old. Wish me luck for that one

[deletedit]

I'll have this in a few weeks too ...

Grumpybum currently likes snuggling with me on the couch (preferably with a blanket over my head - cubbyhouse!) and feels my tummy wriggle so I fully expect I'm going to end up breastfeeding with a blanket over my head and a squirming toddler in my face discussing my boobies.