Newborn and Christmas celebrations how do you manage?

[Babyluv]

Hi Everyone,

Our bub is due on the 18th of Dec, I may be in hospy christmas day but if i'm out with bub then I know DH family and my family will want us to come to lunch and then dinner.
DH has a big family and neices that are really boisterous. My family will be a quiet dinner.

Just wondering as this is my first, what kind of impact would being out all day have on bub? What do you recommend for a christmas day that could entail church in the morning, straight to lunch at DH's parents house and then dinner at my parents house?

I'm worried that being around so many ppl, alot seeing her for the first time, they are all going to want to hold her, she could be only a week or less old, will this be too overwhelming for her?

Thanks

[M D]

I had my DD 4 days before Christmas and was in hospital for Christmas Day. My family put off Christmas Day till Boxing Day (the day I got out). We had our normal celbrations then. 25 Italians at Mum's - it was Christmas as usual. It was noisy and full on, but I liked the normality of it all.

Do what suits you and your Bub. I had no problems with the people and noise nor did bub but everyone is different. Don't feel bad if it isn't what you want.

[UsPlus2]

being that she is so new, I would just tell people sorry but she is a little overwhelmed, so they can look but not hold. That should save the pass the parcel with the new baby.

As for the rest of the time, if you have a sling I would suggest using that, so that even if it gets noisy she is close to you and feeling safe. She should sleep for some of the lunch part so maybe ask your inlaws if you can put her pram in a room at the opposite end of the house from the celebrations so she can sleep.

Hope you and your DD are home to share her first christmas, so exciting

[raffy]

when DS was born i had my family and all the ILs living under the one roof for a week it was overwhelming by day 5 or 6 but the first few days were fine.

your her mummy and ur gonna no and do whats best for her. if u feel its a bit to much (for u both coz dont forget ull still be recovering aswell) im sure ur families will understand. having said that being a NB she will prob sleep the whole time and not even notice

hope you have a great xmas regardless of what u choose xx

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I think you just need to go with what your comfortable with, most people will understand that she's only little and it's all quite daunting.

Personally i'd still go and just mention your still working on your 'bond' together and although you know everyone would love a cuddle it's a lot of people in a small period of time and you'd much prefer the 'look but can't touch policy'

DD1 was a couple of months old but she was tiny at x-mas we went to MIL's and had a great morning, but everyone understood she's not a toy and she wasn't to be bundled off to person after person.

[Nai]

A sling is a lifesaver esp a Hug-a-bub style wrap where bubs will be wrapped up close to your body. They will stay there all day quite happily sleeping and feeding as required. It also stops people being able to hold or pass around the baby as they are so snug. You can give people a peep but just say that bubs is unsettled and needs to stay put. You should be able to do everything you normally would be the sling on as they are so comfy.

[meow]

I'm more concerned about you at that stage TBH. I'm resting more after this birth than last time and it is SO good! I'm a big believer in the babymoon and mum & baby resting together. Going out for the whole day with no chance of a nap doesn't sound good to me. See how you feel closer to the time and don't be afraid to say you can't do it all if it's too much.

[Babyluv]

Thankyou so much for the advice ladies maybe we could shorten our visits at each house n come home in between.

[Cherished]

I think UsPlus2 has some great suggestions if you choose to 'do' christmas with your family. But if you feel like you would like to just stay home don't be afraid to call them on the day and say "we are not coming" We left everything 'open' and did not commit to any visitors at hospital or at home. As it turns out we would have had to tell them not to come to the hospital if we had of organised it because it was exhausting and I was crying all the time and the pain of breastfeeding was all just too overwhelming to then be dealing with family or friends visiting. We still weren't up for visitors for a week after DS was born and even then we only had 2 people at a time and that was grandparents. At the end of those days DS was grizzly and harder to deal with and he only had grandparents here at our house for a couple of hours. All babies are different though so you might find you'rs would be fine. My point is try not to commit to anything and see how you feel on the day

[MrsB26]

I would try not to over do it - think about yourself and your baby before the feelings of your family. I had my DS 6 days before xmas (was due on the 18th too lol) and had only been out of hospital 2 days. We told everyone not to rely on us that year (ie for food etc as we all usually share the load). We made it to my parents house and stayed for only about 2-3 hours instead of the usual whole day thing. I felt tired and ds wasnt settling very well as he had been passed from pillar to post and it was quite noisy etc.
No one tells you how bad you feel after birth too, like not just physically (you may have stitches) but its a very strong emotional time also. You will still be establishing b/feeding.

I just re-read my post and it sounded a little more negative than i intended. I guess what i am trying to say is dont feel pressured into doing too much at once. Dont get upset that you may be hurting someones feeling by leaving early or tellig them they cant hold the baby.

I hope you have a lovely christmas though and bub might wait for you lol. I always said that he had to come either on his edd or wait till boxing day as i didnt want to celebrate chrissy in hospital. Good luck xxx

[crumpet]

im having the same issues hun....

our bub will be here by the 15th so will only be 10 days old by xmas and well thats scary enough let alone all the christmas shananigans!!

usually we do breakfast at MIL's and then lunch at one family and then dinner at the other family.

this year we have told MIL we wont be at breakfast and she was fine with that, mind u she had no choice it wasnt happening!!

she asked the other day if we thought we would make it to lunch and we said yes we intent on being there BUT will be playing things by ear.
hopefully it will be a quick lunch and we can get back home again if things arnt going to plan. there will be about 8 for lunch, thankfully the IL's are a small family, but i still wont have baby handed round person to person i dont want her feral for the night time.

then for dinner we are spending it with my family which works AWSOMELY becasue by then everyone is over it so its usually a quick affair!
mum has suggested that everyone will do the usual catering they do and then bring it to us so we dont have to go out nor do we have to put in any effort.
there will be about 13 of us for dinner, and again baby wont be handed round like pass the parcel, im hoping to have her in her room asleep, wishful thinking i know.

either way we will be making it well know she is a brand new baby and that we wont accept her being passed around unless they want to deal with her when she becomes a wild child because she is overwhelmed by everything

[onthefly]

I reckon if you've had your baby before christmas (or even if not) have people come to you and limit your availability if you need to rest. Don't commit to running round all over the place

We haven't made plans for chrissy yet - it'll be here or my parents depending on how we feel. At any rate, I will be putting my feet up and feeding baby and taht's about it (assuming s/he doesn't keep us waiting beyond that of course).

[Kazbah]

Great thread - I'm due next week, but who knows when these little people will come!! My mum & dad are staying with us, and will be taking most of the christmas load (breakfast etc) and then it's just up to us to turn up with a newborn to DH's family. And that's the only committment I've made!

[bubno.3]

Yep im with 'doing whats best for bub' .... you never know you could have a night from hell or anything wth a new or newish newborn
This year i would say be selfish and your family will understand and if they dont well a bit of bad luck hey !

[Rivlas]

Have a sleep in, turn up for lunch go home for time out for you all then turn up for tea and then an early night.

Being your first your eyes will most likely be hanging out of your head through lack of sleep and trying to learn the ropes of being a Mum so rest as much as you can.

Remember to drink alot as when things are flat out it is hard to keep up the fluids.

Looking forward to the announcement along with all the other Christmas time babies

[Babyluv]

Thanks so much ladies for the advice and the confidence boost. I find it hard to say no but I will do it for bubs and my best interest if i need to. Like a few of you said I won't be having her passed from pillar to post and then being overstimulated and not sleeping. I'm also concerned as they say a few days after birth you get the blues, so I could be very emotional, learning how to BF, recovering etc. Maybe we can just make an appearance an hr or 2 at each family and head home in between.
Thanks again everyone