A vent about having an only child!!

[mummy2chloe]

Hey
I hope you dont mind me posting in here....i don't know where to put this??

After 3 yrs of ttc we finally got chloe my natural miracle, my gorgeous little girl!
Just over a month's time we will be heading into our 9th year of ttc #2

This is where the vent come's into it..

Yesterday my little "big" girl started grade 4 well i was at work yesterday (im a checkout chick) i was telling my supervisor and the customer i was serving about chloe starting grade 4 and how sad i was that she had to go back to school, i love the school holidays spending all that time together playing, cooking, watching movies and having fun, so i really feel it when my best friend goes back to school

only.... to have them ( supervisor & customer) laugh at me and tell me i am "crazy" and that they couldnt wait to get rid of there kids! ok fair enough thats no worries

But they didnt stop there....
they went on to say " oh but you only have ONE child" and then they started carrying on say " oh i wish i only had one child again" and "it's easy having only one"

why is it that i feel like "less of a mother" because of these comments ?
i dont usually let things get to me....but this has stuck with me since yesterday!!
I cant get it out of my head, i feel angry about it now!

Just because i only have 1 child...doesnt mean ANYTHING!!

"IF" i could have more kids, i would but right now i CANT!

i dont know why people say these sort's of things??

[MummaSue]

People can be very insensitive at times. xxxx

[mako]

hun..I so totally feel the same way when I get told "oh but you only have 1" Well yes I do only have 1 but that is not by choice unfortunately and it makes me sad when I hear that others have the same sorts of comments said to them too
FWIW It also makes me feel sad when I hear parents commenting about how much they hate school holidays and can't wait for their kids to go back to school. So its wonderful to hear you say how much you enjoy spending time doing all those fun and exciting things with your DD

[Shanti]

oh man, that must hurt you so much hearing comments like those I wish you a BFP this year, i hope it's your lucky year I really do, you have waited a very long time......wishing you all the BABYDUST in the whole entire world so you can have that 2nd bundle of joy in your arms soon xx

[toomanyshoes]

People can be very insensitive at times. xxxx

Just that and more

[MamaPan]

very insensitive!!
I understand you missing her when she is at school... and I hope it all happens for you again one day. xxx

[mummy2chloe]

thanks heaps everyone...i feel so much better already lol you guys are awesome

And you know what.....even if i did have more kids, i'm not going to change!! I LOVE KIDS and if am lucky and blessed to have 1,2,3 more...i will still feel the same, i will STILL miss them when they go back to school, i will STILL love school holidays.

I love being a mum, i love spending every second i can with my child.......and that WONT change if i have more! i will want to spend as much time as i can with them too!

Thats who i am, its how i work and that wont change no matter how many kids i have.

[krystals]

I get so angry with people who think it's their business to comment on how many kids or 'if' someone has kids at all!

Chloe is sooo lucky to have chosen you for her mummy, you obviously adore her, and good on you for being the best mummy you can be.

[Soph28]

The same thing happens to me ALL the time. My house is always clean but that must be because I only have ONE child (nothing to do with my commitment to keep it so regardless); I can relax at night with my DH because I only have ONE child (nothing to do with the effort put into getting DD to sleep through the night by 3 months old!!); why dont I work because I only have the ONE?; wont your child grow up selfish and missing out?; dont you like being a mother?; wouldnt you like a boy, too? THE FREAKING LIST GOES ON AND ON!!

Ive started telling people i cant have any more as soon as they start (dont even tell them weve been TTC for 2 years). Im sick of the endless questions from ignorant people!

[Lenny]

Oh wow, people say some dumb insensitive things! You really want to scream sometimes, don't you!
You aren't less of a mother because, for now, you only have one, and i think it's awesome that you love your time with her and you miss her. That's so cool.
One small silver lining is that now, you and me, and all the rest of us here are slowly educating 'these insenitive people' and I can only hope that we are making just one more person stop and think before they make comments like that.

[*becstar*]

oh that in insensitive!!

on the other end of the spectrum, if I'm complaining and having a bad day I get told "well...you do have 3 kids and one on the way!" stupid me.

your feelings are valid and no it doesn't make you LESS of a Mum, if anything it makes you more....

xxx

[mummy2chloe]

thanks heaps everyone, i feel so much better after reading all your replies

becstar i cant believe people are saying things like that people can be so, so nasty!!
why cant people just be nice?? is it to much to ask for?

GGGRRRRR make me so angry!

[~Hestia~]

some people just don't think do they? I only have the one and I get it a lot from my sister who has 3. I've started saying "Most people start with one" or "We all have to start somewhere".

Hope you get your BFP soon

[mummy2chloe]

thanks Cheezelmonster maybe i should start saying that too lol

[ladybird11]

I wish some people would think before they opened their chops!!

xoxox

[Possums]

people just don't realise and they can be insensitive and have no idea how much they hurt people's feelings. It's like when people assume I have no children by choice and I get the 'oh lucky you, you can travel where you want' etc, they really don't get it!

Hope you feel better today

[Violet Star]

I know a friend used that when she only had one beautiful child ( not by choice either)...Ive stopped at perfection! but it godsmacked some of the rude people...was she being funny, joking..being sarcastic. It was her putting up her barriers to keep herself safe from those nasties out there.

[<3 Mumofthreetobe <3]

I wish you all the best for a BFP asap.... but being a mother to only one child is still amazing. Actually reading your post made me think back to my mum when I was a child. I was an only child and I have great memories of spending time with my mum (who died when I was 11). Your little girl will have great memories of you. I think it's so wonderful that you have a strong connection with your baby. She'll cherish that forever. Trust me.