Reply With Quotedoes it work for you? if so then do what works.. Why change a good thing.
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learning to fall asleep
So.. the CHN reckons I should no longer rock my bubs til he is sleepy and then put him down in the cot. She says that I should put him down when he's tired and only pick him up and use soothing strategies if he cries.
So can someone please tell me, how does this work? It takes him 45 mins as it is with rocking, sometimes also a dummy, and me saying shh shhh just to get him a little bit sleepy, so that I can put him down, and then he might fall asleep sometimes but I usually have to pick him up 4-5 times again for more rocking in the rocking chair to get sleepy again, as he will often cry straight away when put down in his cot and have wide awake eyes as soon as he's put down, even though he's just been almost asleep (and its not just a little whimper, its like a big cry meaning 'Im really peeved off Mum because you have just put me down and I was all comfortable and nearly ready to fall asleep on you, and I dont want to be in my bed!!!'). I dont rock him to sleep, just rock him til he's sleepy (though sometimes I have given in and just rocked him to sleep as Im tired and just want him to go to sleep, not often though - maybe twice a week and I dont think thats huge considering how many sleeps a baby has in a week). How on earth will he be able to get sleepy enough to fall asleep if I dont do any of this and I just leave him in his cot? - I swear the kid will just lie there for an hour and half looking at the ceiling, or playing with the bolt on the side of his cot, or he will let me know he's not happy about it in no time by crying his little heart out, which I am not prepared to let him do... I dont believe in controlled crying and am not going down this path.
Any thoughts?
Thanks,
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does it work for you? if so then do what works.. Why change a good thing.
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What Nic said! Are you unhappy with the way he falls asleep? If not, who cares what the CHN reckons?
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if it works for you the way you're doing it stay with it. I was trying to not feed DS to sleep at night, instead we got scream-the-house down until he got tired of that or I did and fed him again - now we're back to mostly feeding to sleep at nightat 19mths I sometimes wish he could go to sleep by himself at night (and sleep through but that's a whole nother story)
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Like the girls said if you are happy doing what you are doing then keep going. Sometimes you just need reminding that your doing a wonderful job.
If you want to try something different give the no cry sleep solution a go...I have not used it personally but no many who have!
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WELL SAID!!!
The CHN said this to us too, most are firm believers in CIO or CC. FWIW DD is almost 17months and still cant or better chooses not to put herself to sleep.
You are doing exactly what you should be, what works for you both and tending to your bubbas needs
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Thanks girls, I needed the reassurance. It seems Im the only one in my mother's group that is baby wearing, not leaving my baby to cry, not following rigid sleep/feed routines, and one of the few who are breastfeeding.. so I was really starting to feel like there was something wrong with me and the way Im parenting. I keep hearing in my mother's group, 'you are supposed to do this, you are supposed to do that..' and Ive been quite shocked that some of the other mums are already getting their babies to sleep the night through (at 12wks) and are having so much success getting their babies to sleep during the day.. I have felt like the odd one out, and what's wrong with me.. But its great to have the reassurance from like minded mums on belly belly. XX
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You're doing so well hun! Babies are hard wired to be cuddled, held and loved. It's vital for brain development and for maintaining milk supply (a baby who sleeps through the night has to ensure they get all feeds in a 12 hr period, which is not great for many peoples supply, as well as being pretty unrealistic for most babies tummies and metabolisms).
You are doing it exactly right for you and your baby. We still feed to sleep at 2. And fwiw teaching dd to 'self settle' DID NOT help her sleep at night...she woke twice a night for feeds until I night weaned her at 18 months, and even then had to eat bananas because she was so hungry! Following your babies cues is all you're 'supposed' to do...there isn't a rule book.
Can you find a local ABA group instead of just mothers group? I too was alone in my parenting strategies and it can be hard.
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I agree with the others for the most part.
But also wanted to point out a few things:
1. What she has suggested to you is NOT CC OR CIO. At all. Attending to the baby by picking him up as soon as he begins to cry is not CC.
What she is suggesting is that instead of rocking him to make him sleepy, you put him down and see if he will amuse himself until he becomes sleepy of his own accord.
2. There is nothing wrong with him lying in his cot awake amusing himself by "playing with the bolt on the side of his cot" etc. In fact, this is the point. If he can go into his cot awake and NOT be distressed immediately, this is a good thing, this is the aim of the exercise.
If/when bubs does begin to cry, you attend to him (as you do now if he cries after being rocked and put down, and also as your CHN has suggested you to do), calm him down and make him comfortable and try again.
If/when he DOESN'T become distressed, you leave him be. He will amuse himself, then as he gets sleepier, he will fall asleep.
The aim is not to make him distressed or somehow get him to soothe himself, it is simply to try and be able to put him down and have him feel and get sleepy on his own.
Hope that makes sense.
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Thanks Limeslice.. yes that does make sense. Ive been trying it past couple of days, letting him lie in his cot on his own when I know he's tired and he's calm enough.. hasnt worked for met yet though unfortunately!!.. but will keep trying!
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I have been trying to get DS to sleep in the cot. As soon as I lift him over the edge he cries.
Let me know tinkerbelle how long it takes for DS to settle in the cot himself. I am at the letting him cry for a bit stage, not cry until he is asleep but just not give in every time he makes a little cry. He doesn't even sit and play with toys he just tries to climb out!
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