Is anyone else's DH driving them crazy?

[Dragonbub]

Just a quick vent cos I just need to whinge!
DH is driving me CRAZY. He has been sick, granted, with whooping cough the last 8 weeks or so, and we are moving, but he just takes all his frustration out on me.

He doesn't mind that I have to climb a step-ladder to paint cornices in 37 degree heat, or that at 7 months pregnant I get tired packing boxes at 9pm at night (after a week working full time).

I have organised to use some leave owed to me to have a day off a week, and he has a to do list ready and waiting, and texts me to check up that I have done what he has asked. I am so exhausted by the end of the day! But dare I sit down and come on here for 5 minutes without having to justify it.

I don't know if it is just pregnancy hormones, or if he is really being unbelievably selfish and controlling lately, or perhaps a combo of both. He just doesn't understand how hard it is being pg and not sleeping, and yet I am supposed to sympathise with him being sick.

Grrrr I am getting pretty close to my wits end...

[angelaartsstudent]

Ha, YES!

He comes back from overseas a week and a half ago and immediately starts complaining about the heat and that he is getting "too old" to live in a house without air-conditioning.

Sorry Mr, but YOU are not the one who is 34 weeks preg and doing the housework all day...YOU get to sit in an airconditioned office all day and are not home until nearly 6pm, when it is considerably cooler! The heat is not *that* bad...it's hot, yes..but summer will give way to Autumn eventually. Deal with it!

And, btw, I was VERY happy that I was able to sleep while you were overseas becuase you weren;t snoring next to me! I do not appreciate the return of my nightly relocation to the couch.

:-P

(The above is all in good humour, of course)

[angelaartsstudent]

Do they get more annoying as we get more pregnant or are we getting hormonal?

No..of course not...it *must* be them...right?

LMAO

[Dragonbub]

LOL Angelaartstudent - the chicken and the egg question, do they misbehave because we are grumpy and emotional, or are we grumpy and emotional because they misbehave?

Unfortunatley there is no way to put them into our bodies and let them feel what it is like. So they tend to scoff it off as just a normal state of life (which it is) but that seems to deserve no sympathy.

[lilmisspositive]

Just a quick vent cos I just need to whinge!
DH is driving me CRAZY. He has been sick, granted, with whooping cough the last 8 weeks or so, and we are moving, but he just takes all his frustration out on me.

He doesn't mind that I have to climb a step-ladder to paint cornices in 37 degree heat, or that at 7 months pregnant I get tired packing boxes at 9pm at night (after a week working full time).

I have organised to use some leave owed to me to have a day off a week, and he has a to do list ready and waiting, and texts me to check up that I have done what he has asked. I am so exhausted by the end of the day! But dare I sit down and come on here for 5 minutes without having to justify it.

I don't know if it is just pregnancy hormones, or if he is really being unbelievably selfish and controlling lately, or perhaps a combo of both. He just doesn't understand how hard it is being pg and not sleeping, and yet I am supposed to sympathise with him being sick.

Grrrr I am getting pretty close to my wits end...

Um. I would lose it. IMO right now is the time, he should be spoiling you. I would just say nope, YOU can do it. If he is not spoiling you. Do it yourself. Enjoy the time you have.. Lists? Ha, if that was my dh I would definitely be putting him straight. Right quick. Unless you do not mind doing all that stuff. Tbh though, you are making me tired just thinking about it. xx

[Becs_bubs]

Does he come to your doc appointments? If not, I would be trying to get him to come to one at some stage, and while he is there and in ear shot mention to your doc that you are unusually exhausted, moreso than with your first pg, and that apart from running around all day doing long lists of stuff and stressing out, not sleeping etc you have been trying to rest Your doc will more than likely tell you off, tell you you shouldn't be doing half the things you are doing and that you need to take it easy for your sake and bubs...and hubby might get the picture. Cause really...although pregnancy is not always a blast, you should be taking it easy and from here on in should be starting to prepare for the lead up of your bub and not jeopardize your own health (and bubs) by getting run down and physically/emotionally drained.

[Dragonbub]

Becs and Lilmiss - you are both absolutely right. I am normally a strong and independent woman, who actually earns twice as much as DH and is the career focussed one of the two of us. However, how does one get a man to be sensitive and empathetic when he is a bit of a child himself? He can't nurture ME when he is so busy trying to get me to nurture HIM. I push back, I really do, and when my mum tells me off for doing too much he is the first to jump in and say that he tries to tell me that. But really, he is the first to huff and puff when I say I need to put my feet up (my badly swollen oedema tree-trunks) and I just feel so guilty and lazy. I am conscious though of my baby and that he (bub) comes first despite my slightly immature and self-absorbed husband.

So anyway, I am off to bed while he continues to pack. What a bad wife I am!

[bbhappy]

Oh man, I think in one way or another they are all the bloody same!!! My DH was so awful during the first trimester, I felt sick and tired all the time and he told me I wasnt doing enough around the house and acused me of being lazy! Seems though third trimester he has completely changed his tune, looking after me quite well and notices how tired and uncomfortable I am and how little I can do physically atm.
I hope your DH changes his tune and starts looking after you better!

[Becs_bubs]

You're not a bad wife at all - you're a good mum for listening to your body and looking after that priceless bub inside you. I completely understand where you're coming from...my DH was pretty terrible through my first 2 PGs - didn't really 'get it'. Fast forward to #3 and he had grown up a lot - he was suddenly taking the other 2 kids out towards the end of my PG so I could get extra naps in, making dinner, cleaning house etc. Now with this PG - #4 - I was told from the very beginning that I am a high-risk patient and on bed rest. Now, my idea of bed rest and the docs are two different things - it's great in theory and I'd love to be able to adhere to it 100%, but with 3 other kids (especially the 16 month-old) and a LIFE, I just do little bits here and there and put my feet up where I can. However, DH has been pretty much faultless this time round - I thought he would just think I'd need a few more naps again here and there, but after hearing the specialist say 'BED REST! Take it easy!' he not only works his two jobs and studies, but he cleans the house, does all the yard work, does the school runs around work if he can, cooks meals, massages my swollen feet , does the shopping, runs errands...I do things here and there (which definitely helps his temperament - he's not the kind of person who could selflessly do all this and I do NOTHING unless I looked like I was dying ) where I can and it all just works. So don't lose hope - they CAN be more helpful and sympathetic. As I said...it might just take a gentle prod from your doc