Another weekend, another unbelievable act at a wedding.
I'm at a wedding of an old boyfriend of mine (fabulous guy - just not the right one for me!) who I get along brilliantly with still. His new wife is also delightful, and we get along sufficiently well that I was involved in a small way in the wedding (doing a reading) and it was not in any way weird for us.
Anyway, along comes the reception. I see people, greet them, chatting away with old friends, and then up comes the mother of the groom. Now, she and I haven't really seen each other since the late 1990 when Groom and I were dating, but I recognise her and say hello, and she gives me a huge kiss on the cheek, and starts gabbing about how long it's been, etc.
Groom's mum then proceeds to take me by the elbow, and starts introducing me to family members of Groom. Um, a little odd, but ok.
Groom's mum then gets more and more animated, saying things like, "This is peanutter, you remember peanutter? She accompanied Groom to his Year 12 formal. Isn't that nice? She's a [occupation] now, isn't that grand?" which then proceeds swiftly to things basically saying that isn't it a shame that Groom and I broke up ...
No mention that I've been with DH for 13 years, married for 8 years and have a baby, and am actually pretty happy with the status quo!
By this stage, I'm desperately but politely trying to recover my elbow and escape ... and I've just about managed it, when Groom's mum then leans across the table where we're now sitting, over to Bride, and says loudly, "Do you really need to be eating THAT, Bride??"
Bride and I are similar in colouring and general appearance, but Bride is maybe 6 sizes larger than me ... curves in all the same places, just larger ones. This does not bother her or Groom at all normally, they are one of the happiest, most in love couples I know, but I just couldn't believe it, and Bride goes white, then red, then retorts something along the lines that it's her wedding and her cake and it tastes great, and maybe Groom's mum would do well to try it too (GO BRIDE!!)
With the stricken guests all around, I escaped, and quickly enmeshed myself in a conversation with some friends and avoided Groom's mum for the rest of the reception.
And thankfully, Bride and Groom seemed to have a marvellous time!
Oh. My. Gooseberries. Indeed!!! Was she drunk? Not that it's an excuse but alcohol can lead to foot in mouth syndrome!
Peanutter, you seem to have a knack for going to weddings with a difference atm
Seriously though, what a horrible and uncomfortable experience for you. I am so glad you get along with the bride because down the track this could be one of those stories you laugh about together. Clearly the MiL has never gotten over your break up with her DS and holds you up as the golden standard against which other mere women will always fail to measure up. I feel sorry for the bride but she will be ok if she can continue to stick up for herself like that. What did the groom do?
oh, Kaz - I have another in a couple of weeks, where I'm the matron of honour!! hopefully that one will be smooooooooooooth sailing ...
no alcohol at all ... unless she'd snuck in a little something-something under that tasteful pearl grey twin-set ... you never know ... ninja MIL strikes again, perhaps?
the groom didn't hear or see any of it - and the bride didn't hear what was being said with me either, thankfully.
the silly thing is, why would you compare a gf of a few months at high school to his partner of 3 years? I just don't get it. And she's wonderful and smart and funny and will be a fantastic mother (and apparently is a bonanza in the sack ) ... and at the end of the day, don't you just want your kids to be happy and with people who adore them back?
maybe she is pining for the high school days in general then when he was more her little boy IYKWIM? Him getting married might have triggered off all this stuff for her about him growing up or becoming an adult and not needing her anymore (in that marriage is still such a rite of passage for many people). I dunno, I would have thought most people do want their kids to be happy but maybe she was thinking more of her own feelings.
ETA - I'm glad they each didn't observe her rude behaviour. Lets hope it was a once off in the context of being all emotional and she just forgot herself.
OMG Peanutter - a very similar thing happened to ME!!! You poor thing, it's horrible isn't it - you are fully aware that this is THEIR day but yet you don't want to be totally rude to the grooms mother?
In my situation, it wasn't an ex-boyfriend but my very very oldest male friend (since primary school) and his Dad kept saying all night that he thought it would be me and his son that got married in front of my husband and his new wife! There are only so many times you can nod politely and back away.
I also thought the same thing, you dodged that bullett.
Good on the bride for her reply, wish I was better at thinking of quick retorts when my MIL has a go at me, I'm also about an hour to late and then I think of something brilliant i could have said.
Last edited by megs; March 8th, 2011 at 05:11 PM.
: spelling, should learn to slow down and proof read
Wow you do go to exciting events! I was thinking that you did indeed dodge a bullet but maybe it would also be a nice thing for you to congratulate the bride on her fine handling of her new MIL to give her some moral support. She may need it in the future especially if they are planning kids - I can only imagine the MIL will ramp it up if she gets pregnant.
totally something my mil would do. totally.
in fact, she once told me i should only drink low-fat milk in my cup of tea. not full fat. for obvious reasons.
how mortifying for the bride! luckily she seemed to handle it ok
Geez! She sounds full on I thought the parading you around at her son's wedding was bad until I got the cake bit! Good on Bride for standing up for herself though!
Omg.
My mum had something similar happen in similar circumstances. She was happy married with at least 1 child (me, not sure if my brother was born) and was at he wedding of her next door neighbor who's grandfather stood up and introduced her as 'Pandoras mum' this is the girl Stephen should have married. In front of the bride and her family
When they get home go out for coffee with her and let her know how well she handled the situation. She is probably thinking she should not have said what she did and beating herself up over it. Let her know 'well done'.
Hopefully by standing up to her from day one it will make it easier for her in the future.
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Oh. My. Gooseberries.
What a poohead of a new MIL! Well done "Bride" on the reply though
I thought the parading you around at her son's wedding was bad until I got the cake bit! Good on Bride for standing up for herself though!
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