Would you think differently about me if you knew...

[Arcadia]

If you knew how much I weighed would you change how you perceive me?

I am really confronting some of my own ideas about body health and beauty, and I am trying to be more open minded about my perceptions of others. Just recently I have found myself forming judgements about people based on their weight, and I don't like it.

So what about you? Does it factor into your perceptions?

[zap]

I must admit I have found myself judging people by their weight. These are the first few words that pop into my head when I see an overweight person:
Shy
Sad
Lost
No sense of self worth

When I see someone slim I do tend to wait to speak to them before I judge them.

I know this post may offend people and I know that by no means to the above words apply to just overweight people and not all overweight people feel like that. Just my thoughts!

[Catastrophic]

For me no it doesn't...

Well to a degree - if your unhealthy and not looking after your self hygienically Im a snob and will look the other way - but thats got nothing to do with size more the way you present your self.

[Arcadia]

What about people who are really thin? Or really buff? I have always been super skinny, but kids have changed that, so I am completely reframing my ideas of body beautiful.

[zap]

For me no it doesn't...

Well to a degree - if your unhealthy and not looking after your self hygienically Im a snob and will look the other way - but thats got nothing to do with size more the way you present your self.

I used to be like that too until I had three under 15 months! Getting out of the house was and still a nightmare and there was many a day when I copped a look of myself in a whooshing and thought "oh my god I look like a fat slob"!

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Nope, not at all. Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes.

[~Kim~]

Even though I'm not, I come from a whole family of obese people so no.

There is an anorexic lass that walks around here though and while I don't 'judge' her per say I pity her, so I guess that's a kind of opinion about her.

I also live in a town where how people present is totally different to anywhere I have ever been except say the ghettos of Washington DC. It does challenge your perceptions.

Good on you Arcadia.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I try not to judge someone based on weight, mainly for the fact that i am myself overweight and have been obese.
I do however find it hard not to judge some people, those who are extremely overweight, sitting in Macca's with a meal that could feed a small family who say "but i can't help it".

I'm no picture perfect model of what someone should do, eat or say but lately i have realised i am the way i am because of ME, no-one else.
I have to make the effort, i'm not blessed with an amazing metabolism or genes from some size 6 super model but i do have a brain and it's about time i started using it.

FWIW i actually have some friends who would be classed as obese, they are the happiest most amazing outgoing people i have ever met, they never let anyone get them down, they are always dressed impeccably and have the most amazing sense of fashion.... (i wish they would share their secrets)

I think we are bought up in a society where we are actually taught to judge people based on looks and size, were taught about healthy and unhealthy eating and that certain foods are bad for us or we'll get FAT.
DP's cousins little girl is 10, she started telling her mum not to buy her certain foods, she started saying she needed to loose weight and wanted to start walking more, now while it's good she's conscious of whats going into her body this is a girl thats quite tall for her age, very slim and in no way needed to 'tone up' or 'loose weight' - so where does it start and where does it end?

Sorry for my ramble, got a bit OT - i try not to judge people by their weight but i think no matter what we all do it, even if we don't admit to it there is that little voice in our head that for just a second says "oh she's tiny or wow she's big".

FWIW my Name is Leah and i am 93kg+ i am 5'11" and i am obese... judge away

[RhiChiChi]

Yes, I have to say I do, however I do this of all people - thin, fat, buff. Considering I am in the obese category, it is highly judgemental of me to think this way of larger people but it is something that I am trying to be more aware of. I think this is a reflection of me & how I perceive myself & self worth.

[kelsbels]

My mum was severely anorexic/bulimic when I was a kid and now is quite overweight so I've 'been' at both ends of the spectrum. I judge ultra skinny people more than I judge overweight people because I know the mental anguish that comes with that eating disorder.

I know I am incredibly judgmental, I blame it on growing up in a small town. It's something I am working on

[~StarBright~]

On the forum, i never take into account what I think people look like.. i dont really get pictures in my head too much about people, but I dont think about it, so therefore it probably would effect me to know what people do look like, coz its wouldnt spoil any perceptions i had.. IRL i am probably more judgemental of these skinny skinny young girls who need to eat!!!! I have one friend who was complaining because she had to buy size 8-10 jeans instead of her usual size 6 and i nearly punched her!!! (maybe be a little jealously there though :-()

I am another whose body has changed dramatically since having my kids, and i miss my old skinny body, but i dont feel like mentally I have changed as a person. Only the way i look, altough sadly, some days though i guess it has changed how i feel about myself and in some ways my confidence. I am trying to loose weight and become healthier, but nothing is working and that in itself is slightly depressing.

I am still me, there is just more of me!!

[toomanyshoes]

Not when it comes to size but I have to say I can be judgemental when it comes to behaviour in public, adults not kids.

I tend to move away from people, particularly men who are very loud, touchy feely, swear a lot, aggressive in your face types without "getting to know them".

For me I don't care if your over weight for medical reasons or want to sit on ya bum all day and down 20 cheese burgers. It's your own life and you have to live it.

[Tinks]

I haven't and never will judge anyone on their weight. I have been judged my whole life and would never put anyone through that pain.

[MrsFabuloso]

I definately try not to, but I won't say I don't. Whether you think you do it or not, I think most people do it to some extent. It's the way our society is. If I do form judgements on people based on how they look, I always try to refrain from imposing it on them before I really meet them and know them. I really try to remain open minded. But when I meet people, I do depend alot on my gut reactions and first impressions on how I see someone.


"I know I am incredibly judgmental, I blame it on growing up in a small town. It's something I am working on"

I have recently come to realise how terrible a small town can be in judging people. It's actaully really shocking to me!

[toomanyshoes]

double post

[toomanyshoes]

I definately try not to, but I won't say I don't. Whether you think you do it or not, I think most people do it to some extent. It's the way our society is. If I do form judgements on people based on how they look, I always try to refrain from imposing it on them before I really meet them and know them. I really try to remain open minded. But when I meet people, I do depend alot on my gut reactions and first impressions on how I see someone.


I know I am incredibly judgmental, I blame it on growing up in a small town. It's something I am working on

I have recently come to realise how terrible a small town can be in judging people. It's actaully really shocking to me!

Sorry to disagree but I can confidently say I've never judged someone on their weight.

Having been over weight my whole life I know the pain of it all too well and wouldn't subject someone else to it.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I might get a bit judgmental if someone I know or meet who is overweight complains about it and doesn't actually do anything material to address their own complaints, or does things to perpetuate their own unhappiness! But not in a way that I don't want to know them, just in the way where I think "You CAN do something about this and choose not to, so shuddup till you wanna do something about it".
Meanwhile, I guess I have friends of all shapes and sizes and I probably surprise myself with how that doesn't matter to me, given how judgmental my mum and DP are about 'fat people'!

[misty]

I don't 'usually' judge someone based on weight. I tend to judge the personalities behind that weight (or lack thereof).

[I say 'usually, because I am sure, me being human, there is an exception in there somewhere; and to be completely honest, I do tend to steriotype overweight children a bit - as in they tend to be say, lacking confidence, unsure of themselves, uneducated about nutrition and exercise, and 'usually' don't have parents who know how to role model those things for them: not because the parents don't care, but because the issues surrounding weight gain / loss can seem completely insurmountable and get a grasp on on a personal level, let alone in passing it onto the next generation.]

I think because I my personal history (been everything from underweight to morbidly obese and everywhere in between) and because of my current job (in the weightloss industry), I am much more conscious of the steriotypes I am applying to people in regards to weight. I have met some fabulous, confident, extremely attractive people of many different sizes, just as I have met some very sad, selfconscious, socially fearful people of many different sizes as well.

Some people will be happy easygoing people no matter what size they are, and some people will be unhappy no matter what size they are.

My biggest problem is trying to resist the urge to 'help' everyone. I love my job because it allows me to help people who want to be helped, but when I see my friends (of all sizes) who are struggling with weight issues, it is hard not to jump in enthusiastically and give them my advice (particularly if they have chosen for themselve a method of which I don't agree). So I try not to say anything much unless asked a direct question. Of course if any of my friends were to actually say or ask my opinion or help, I would be more then happy to share every little bit of information and knowledge I have acquired through my work and experiences to help them, just as I would any of my clients.