Young Mums

[Charlotte91]

(not sure where to put this!)

I know there's a few of you (names escape me) who have babies when you were younger.
But I'm wondering if there's any current young mums. (actually not real fussed. Anyone who had bubs young)

I'm 19, I turned 19 less than a month before DD was born.

Pregnant at 18. Only been with DP for 2 months before I got a postive pregnancy test.
It was hard enough being 18 and pregnant, without being told that your child has a life threatening birth defect which resulted in 1000km, yes ONE THOUSAND km, round trip every second week for scans. Being told that your baby is going to die due to a chromosomal abnormality. Which she never had. Her chromosomes are fine.
(If you want to check out DD's story its here -- YouTube - ‪Hannah's Gastroschisis Story‬‏ )


Now I'm 19, unemployed, no friends IRL because they're too busy out drinking and don't want to hang out with someone with a baby.
Struggling a bit today and wondered if there's anyone else in BB land in my shoes?

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

hun, i'm not exactly classed as 'young' but i still have friends who can't be bothered because they don't have kids of their own.
My partner often still thinks of himself as a 21yr old male with no responsibility so i get than lonely feeling at times too.

I'm fairly sure there is an area for young mums, hopefully someone can pop in with a link.. just wanted to give a

[Aussiegirl777]

Hiya - I'm not young - in fact I'm at the total other end of the spectrum but I wanted to let you know that I am so inspired by you. I have read all your posts and looked at your journey on youtube. You are a strong person to go through what you have been through and you are a brilliant Mummy to Hannah. I hope that you connect with the people that you need to. Some days are tougher than others aren't they and I don't think that has anything to do with age.

[Charlotte91]

Thanks ZF and aussiegirl.

I thought there was a young mums section, but can't find it!!

DP, being 24 and already been in a long term relationship, was more than happy to settle down and have a family.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

I feel pregnant with DD about a month after a turned 20 (though I was TTC since i was 18).. Im now 23 and pregnant with my second. So I guess Im still considered a young mum and wouldnt have it any other way!

[Jellyfish]

Not sure what is young but I suppose I was... am, maybe? I was 20 when I fell pregnant with my DD, had her just after I turned 21. Am 23 now though and will have my second bub around the time I turn 24. I'd like to still think I'm a young mum but feeling older everyday

[Curlygirly]

I'm not exactly a young young mum kinda middle at 25 years old But you, like a lot of mums who have had bubs young do a fantastic job. I have friends now that are kinda freaked out by the thought of me having a mini me but I tell myself that friends with similar interests and stages in life appear naturally. Plus kids are the best way of making new friends with other like minded people have you checked out your local mum's groups where you live? Or even start your own? I'm sure I have seen young mums here so sure you will make some special connections soon.x

[toomanyshoes]

I'm not young now (28) but I had our first at 18 (was pregnant at 17).

I had just moved to the other end of the country 18months before hand, had no real friends and everyone we knew were out drinking. I agree it gets very lonely.

Have you tried finding a mothers group? I really wish I had known about them back then, I had no support from my family or DH family so it was hard.

We got told at 30wks we probably wouldn't bring a baby home and I'm pretty disgusted with my over all treatment, I even had a private OB! Even at the birth my OB took over and pushed me around. Really wish I knew where she was practicing now so I could write to her and let her know that the way she treated me and DH just because we were young was unacceptable and we're still together today and trying for number 3.

[Charlotte91]

I do go to mothers group. But, they are all in their very late 20s to late 30s. My sister is the only other young mum I know, she was 20 when she gave birth to her first (born sleeping at 20 weeks) and then 21 when my niece was born. But she is moving to New Zealand this week.
Its a tiny country town.

Getting to mothers group is hard, as DD usually goes to bed for her nap at 9.30am and MG starts at 10am.
lol, the only week she was up and ready to go - it wasn't on!!! :-)

[Charli-Sloan]

I was 17 when I fell pregnant with my first but he sadly passed away 10 days before my 18th birthday. I fell pregnant with my daughter at 19 and was only with the bloke a month before I knew something was not right. I have now a beautiful 2 year old little girl and another girl on the way who is due just after my 23rd birthday. Most of my friends disappeared after I had my daughter cause they wanted to go out and party and get drunk. This time they are all pregnant too and my best mate is due on the same day as me. Understand completely where you are coming from

[Glamourcide]

Issues for Younger Couples
Here is the section for Younger Couples/Mums It gets pretty quiet in there, so come and join on in! I'm another sorta-young mum - fell pg with DD1 at the age of 20, after having been with my now-DH for only a month (we were actually trying, believe it or not... just knew in our hearts it was right for us!). I'm turning 25 next week but am still definitely young at heart, and also find it tough to relate to other mums because most people I know who have kids are either much older, or have a very different mind-set and lifestyle than we do. It can be really disheartening to be juggling motherhood and a 'normal' social life, especially when most of your friends are at different stages of their lives and can't identify with what you're going through.
I'm always here and happy to chat and listen! Gotta dash off atm (grr, kids making a godawful mess and there never seems to be a lack of laundry to hang out!) but I'm always popping in and out so I'll be back soon Big hugs hun, I can definitely relate to how you're feeling, the down days are just the WORST. Hope you're feeling better soon - just remember, you're a fantastic mum and there will come a day when the mates who are neglecting you now, suddenly understand what you're going through and I know they will feel bad for not being there for you when you needed them. Hang in there, you're definitely not alone. xxx

[AngelPants]

another young mum here (sorta) i fell pg with DS just after i turned 20. i understand, it sucks sometimes, especially the awkwardness that comes when people assume DS was an unwanted accident.
im happy to chat as well or u can add me on FB im generally floating around here or there!
big hugs hun, it does get easier.
xo

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Yep i'm another young mumma I was 2 weeks off my 21st when i found out i was pregnant. We had tried TTC when i was 17/18 but was unsucessful so then decided to then go with fate. I was 19 when i found why i couldnt concieve and started on medication and we actually planned to TTC in april last year but someone else had another idea but i wouldnt have it any other way.

ETA - we had been together since i was 15

[Yas]

Hi, i'm another young mum I'm 22, fell pg with DS at 18, and i'd been with DF for 4 months. (AND he was my first, and we'd only been having sex for 6 weeks when DS was concieved ) I'm now pg again I understand it is lonely, and isolating I live all the way up in queensland otherwise i would insist on a catch up lol.
lots of love xxxxxxxxxx

[deletedit]

Its more where you are in your life at the time. I got pregnant at 24, was single, and NOBODY I knew in my own social circles was even vaguely thinking about getting pregnant. The few who were were wives of bosses and supervisors, having kids at 29-35, and I couldn't relate to them at all.

Wasn't much fun at the time, wish I'd have known that in advance.

Now I've just had kids at 32 and 34 it seems everyone else my age is madly having babies, the complete opposite of 12 years ago.

[StrawberryFields]

Not a young mum yet for another few months but I do know where the young mums section is - its in the Families and Relationships> Issues for Younger Couples section. We tried to revive it recently because its usually so dead in there but alas!

I know how you feel when you say you're feeling lonely already though, mostly because we had to move away from all our friends and family for DH's job, and I've found it impossible to find a job of my own so I have had no way of making any friends. I've tried to go to some pre-natal classes but because I'm having twins nobody else understands how different everything is for me, and instead of being able to connect with anyone, all I get to do is field questions about am I going to put them in matching outfits, or deflect comments like 'oh I wish I was having twins' and 'lucky you, two for the price of one.' I got sick of it so now I just stay at home with our furbabies, and Facebook, emerging only for food and appointments. My friends care, I know they do, they ask after me and call from time to time, but I'm the only one who's married, some of them haven't ever had a boyfriend, or even had sex yet, or they're guys so they just don't get the whole baby thing period! But I was always the pioneer, the first to do everything, the first to succeed or fail, so I guess I shouldn't have expected any different.

[MummyOfTerrors]

im sorta a young mum
i was pregnant at 20 had my first at 21 second at 22 and third at 24

i know what you mean about MG at 21 i was atleast 8yrs younger then the rest and i felt it my bestie felt it worse with her MG

[retrogal]

so im a young mummy Hello!!

Im 22 DF 27. we were together for 7months when we fell pregnant and now we have been together for 2years. When i went to MG i was the youngest i almost didnt go back cuase i was sorta scared... but i went back and now close friend with all of MG