thread: I'm sure this is normal..

  1. #1

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    Unhappy I'm sure this is normal..

    But i can't shake the feeling of guilt.. Don't get me wrong i am thrilled that i am having another baby but can't help but feel so guilty that i am having another baby so soon after DD, i feel like i have stole her thunder by getting pregnant so close to her first birthday. I feel guilty that this is another unplanned pregnancy that only took one go to fall pregnant and there are so many other women who struggle to have a baby and it seems to happen so easily for me despite my health issues.

  2. #2

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    Firstly hun your right we all do go through a guilty stage, DD1 was 7mths old when i found out i was PG again.
    I felt horrible at times thinking she was still a baby herself and how was i going to do it, but i look at them now, the best of friends and there could not be a better gift to give them.
    FWIW my brother was born 4 days before my 1st birthday so Miss K's thunder has NOT been stolen

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Caroline Springs
    2,341

    I feel guilty that this is another unplanned pregnancy that only took one go to fall pregnant and there are so many other women who struggle to have a baby and it seems to happen so easily for me despite my health issues.
    Never feel guilty for being able to fall pregnant easily. You being pregnant doesn't take a baby away from anyone else.

    Also, I personally love small gaps between babies. Gosh, minutes after my son was born I was already thinking about how much I wanted to give him a little sibling, lol. And if my husband would let me have another baby (which he won't ) I would want to be pregnant again as soon as I could. Having another baby won't make your DD any less of a baby herself. She'll just get the added experience of a baby brother or sister to interact with as well.

    My son was 20 months when my daughter was born and they are already becoming close. At the moment my son loves to "Shayla kiss" and he gives her big cuddles and smooches. He also loves making her hold his little toys, hehe. It's a delight to watch and both you, your daughter, and your new baby will love it ♥

  4. #4
    Registered User

    May 2008
    Melbourne
    1,838

    DS1 & DS2 were planned but DD was a big surprise. My guilty thoughts were for DS2 because i really wanted to feed him longer and i didn't get to (made it to 14-15 months which i am happy with none the less) and i was feeling quite guilty as we'd discussed more children but had decided that maybe we were happy with our family as it was. DD was never not wanted but she wasn't 'in the plans' which i did really feel guilty about.

    BUT she has brought much joy and my goodness what we would have been missing out on if she hadn't made up our minds for us. THe boys are clearly meant to have a sister and DH and I are certainly meant to have a daughter.

    The guilt will hopefully pass for you and the expectation of you new addition will be nothing but pure joy. Your DD doesn't know that she could have had you and DP to herself a little longer and the love that gets spread is doubled (tripled etc...) with each new addition. I'm sure your DD will love having a brother or sister.

    Good luck and look after yourself xo

  5. #5

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    Thanks. Hopefully this guilt we disappear the further i get into my pregnancy.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Feb 2005
    Sydney
    2,597

    First - Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

    I fell pregnant with Miss T when Julia was 1yr old also, its actually a really good age gap and remember you still have 8 months before the new bubba is born, so all will be ok, just enjoy and cherish the time with her before the new baby comes then include her in everything when the new baby arrives, buy her a present from the baby etc. My girls were so excited to receive presents from Annabel when she was born 2 weeks ago! and Julia was great when Tara was born (she was 22 months then).

    hugs, its hard not to feel guilty, I understand. xxx

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Add *TripleJ* on Facebook

    Jan 2009
    Diggers Rest VIC
    2,945

    Jamie was only 9 months when i got preg with jazz at his birthday i was very noticeably preg and no way did that steal his thunder he did that himself by showing everyone he could walk he had only done it for me and DH before that little show off that he is
    it will be fine dont worry about it xoxoxoxo

  8. #8
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Canberra
    3,617

    LMS - My kids all have the same kind of gap your two will have. Sometimes you may feel like they miss out a bit on your attention, but ALL the positives they get out of having a sibling close in age MORE then makes up for having to 'share' mum. And in truth, learning to share is a very important skill we need to teach our kids anyway - so it can actually be a positive if you think about it.

    Forget the guilt. It is a horribly negative and unnessecary emotion. You have nothing to feel guilty about. We all have our own lives to live, and they all come with their own sets of positives and negatives. Just because you are blessed in one are does not mean you don't struggle in another, and vice versa.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Add ~Lashes~ on Facebook

    Aug 2010
    south eastern melbourne
    2,533

    dont feel guilty at all.
    I was 8 months preg on Krystals 1st birthday, it didnt steal her thunder at all!! and now she loves Allyssa and going from the smiles she gets, Allyssa loves her to!
    Seth was about your miss K's age when we found out we were expecting Trent, they are most of the time great friends (yes they have there boy moments) but there is alot of sweet moments with the age diffrence, in the begining it was holding hands and s getting nappies or wiping the dribble from T,now it is sharing, or helping sort out a problem they might have.
    Another bonus, is when bub gets a bit older, they will have a live in play-mate.
    But i totaly get the guilt thing. You want to feel happy, but cant understand why it isnt that easy for everyone

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    Melbourne
    1,021

    Ah - isn't guilt part of being a mother??? LOL Congratulations on your new pregnancy LMS. It will be nice to have your littlies close together and I am sure for the most part they will love it. And as for feeling guilty about falling pregnant quickly, as a LTTCer I absolve you of any guilt Honestly, none of us ladies that have a hard time getting pregnant would wish that upon anyone else. Yes it can be confronting for us when others around us fall pregnant easily, but it doesn't mean that we want you to feel guilty!

    Janie xxx

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    282

    I feel very guilty, mainly because ive always given him my complete attention from the moment i get up, even at 1am lol. So now im scared he will still want/need that attention from me and will act out because i wont be able to play with him all day. Just remember this is a very emotional time, in time you will and hopefully me too lol be as excited as we were with our 1st.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Mar 2011
    Melbourne
    948

    i felt the same little miss summer xoxox
    my son was 11months old when we found out we were pregnant and i cried looking at my baby boy
    my whole pregnancy i was riddled with guilt and we were so worried how he would cope
    theres 17months between my first 2 and they have the greatest little bond and the moment i saw my daughter the guilt vanished and watching my sons first interaction with his baby sister was the most beautiful moment,

    i think its fairly normal to feel guilt when you fall pregnant but once you see their love for each other youll remember how wonderful it is xoxo