Completely overwhelmed... How do you do it???

[OceanPrincess]

Working mothers, please help me out!!

I am completely overwhelmed by everything at home. Since I returned to work and the nanny is here three days, it is just out of control.

I struggle to keep the house in any way tidy. I know it's useless while the kids are awake but even when they go to sleep, I just can't seem to keep it clean.

I haven't vacuumed in, I don't even know how long. The bathrooms - two weeks maybe? Who knows. Basically all I manage to do is clean up after dinner, put some washing on or out or away, try and tidy and collapse.

I'm only working three days. I look around and feel sick at how disgraceful it is here... But it is all I can do to keep my head above water here.

How on earth do I get on top of things?

[Arimeh]

Even though I don't work, i don't get much time during the day to clean up.

I clean up the kitchen while DH is bathing the kids, he empties the dishwasher before he goes to work inthe morning.

I do my washing of a night, two loads.

DH takes the 3 big kids shopping Saturday morning which gives me time to do the bathrooms, vac and mop. If I don't get it done, it can wait till next week or if I get a chance during the week

[Epacris]

I was working 3 days (it was 4 but that was insane so I cut back to 3) before DS2 arrived. It was really hard, TBH my sleep and my relationship with DH suffered. But.... I would vacuum everyday, usually after dinner when the kids were in the bath, I would madly run around, pick everything up and vac. I would also do washing every night and hang it on a clothes horse. If it was going to be sunny the next day I’d put it outside or leave it in if it was rainy and finish it off in the dryer if it needed it at the end of the day. I would clean the kitchen and makes lunches when the kids were in bed. I would never go to bed until all the jobs were done (here’s where the sleep and relationship gets shafted) including packing all the bags and setting out all our clothes for the next day. I am not a mornings person, there is no way jobs could get done then and I just couldn’t stand waking-up to a messy, dirty house. I also had terrible insomnia (adrenal exhaustion - where when I eventually did go to bed I couldn’t get to sleep). I guess what I’m saying is IMHO you can have a tidy house but it will come at some sort of cost to you and /or your family. xxoo

We're lucky DS2 came along actually.

[Nai]

I have a cleaner once a fortnight who does the bathroom, vacs and mops basically - firstly it means that these things get done at least once a fortnight. It also means we are all forced to tidy the house once a fortnight so that the cleaner can see the floor to actually clean it! It doesn't cost a lot but it certainly saves my sanity!

[feeb]

I have a cleaner once a fortnight who does floors and bathrooms for me so I just have to try and keep on top of washing and drying, also as Nai said above it means its all done once a fortnight and means I have to find the floor day before she comes so she can clean floor!

I got her from when DS1 was 6 months old as he was a need to be held all the time or scream child! and once I had DS2 was easier to keep her coming and now juggling kids uni work etc its a god send!!!

[Astrid]

Gosh I feel the same way. I was never much of a cleaner, so I do find it hard.

I do what I can with some nagging of DH to do his bit and now get DD1 to help out with what she can. Thankful that she can do things like unload some of the stuff from the dishwasher, tidy up small areas, feed chickens etc
I try and keep on top of the kitchen whilst the girls are in their bath, along with the sweeping of the lounge room (quick job and makes a huge difference to how clean the house looks). Folding of clothes, hanging on the clothes horse is normally done while the girls are getting in pjs. Just little bits here and there whilst I am on the move. Once I sit of an evening, thats it, no more It is really helpful to have multiple cleaning implements, so both the kitchen and the laundry have their own brooms, dust pans etc. Multiple dusters, so I am not hunting for them (the girls like to play with them).

Look forward to other tips. I would love a cleaner, but I want all small debt to be cleared before I get one.

[OceanPrincess]

Yeah Astrid that's my problem with a cleaner - we have so much debt that we are trying to shift before we look at things like cleaners. Oh how I would love one!!

As for doing things while kids are in the bath, I do that on my days off - but then I go to work and everything spirals out of control like it is tonight.

Sigh!

[AliBaby]

I get overwhelmed at times and I feel like most of the time run on empty. Working full time, being a mum and keeping house is hard.

I feel like you most of the time and as I am quite house proud, it can start to depress me and I snap and we have a masive clean up. My house right now is disgraceful but the list of things I STILL need to do before bed at this point is really overwhelming and none involve cleaning. I will just have to turn a blind eye for a little while.

[Astrid]

What I found helped me tonight, was that dinner was already cooked (I cooked double last night). So the time I would have normally spent cooking, I spent vacuuming and doing some spot cleaning.

Things I need to implement is some more routine and also getting off the puter I can get so much done during the girls bedtime (that hour dealing with teeth, reading, putting them back to bed 100x's) if I leave the computer off, but I am silly and get on at the start of their bedtime. If I am going to be up and down, I may as well stay standing and keep moving.

[Amity]

I'm a single parent. I work full time and long hours. Literally, the only way I cope is with routine, routine, routine. If I'm out of routine, things get out of hand really really quickly.

I did a big "this is my routine" post a while back and I'll have to try and find it. But you also must realise that you are at home all day on those days you don't work, and I'm at work all day every day, so most of the daily mess happens out-of-home for me. I just need to keep up with washing/dishes and a bit of tidying in the afternoons/evenings, whereas you have to do it ALL DAY on those days you are home.

I get up about 6:45am. I have a preset washing machine (timer) so the clothes are already through the cycle. I stick them in the dryer/on the line (depending on season. I have no compunction about using the dryer in the winter at all). Empty the dishwasher and make lunches. Boys get up about 7:15 - they have breakfast and get dressed straight away (they're 8 and nearly 6 so mostly do it themselves). They put their dishes in the dishwasher and their washing in the washing basket, and then they can play. While they're doing that, I have a shower and get dressed for work. We leave at 7:45am.

I get home anytime from 4pm-6pm. Boys bring in their own bags and empty lunchboxes into bin/dishwasher, have afternoon tea (if they haven't already had it), pack up their dishes into the dishwasher, and go play. I fold washing straight out of the dryer and put away straight away. I cook tea and we eat together. Boys put away dishes and have shower/bath depending on what I can be bothered organising. I clean up kitchen as I cook so there's no mess. When the boys are in the bath, I wipe over the bathroom and toilet. After pjs, we do readers/homework/books and bed. Boys are in bed by 7:30-7:45pm. I sit down for about 15 min lol.

At about 8pm I run the vac over the house and put the washing on the preset timer. Set the dishwasher and put it on. Mostly this is done by about 8:30pm. Thursday afternoons (when I don't have the kids) I do sheets and towels and wash floors, and do food shopping.

But I don't have an annoying bloke/male/OH getting in the way of everything all the time - that would be darn annoying! I am the only one responsible in my house, so if it doesn't get done, it's on me, really.

After 8:30pm I spend a lot of time working or online depending!

And if I'm late home then things are just later.

Hope this helps!

[diva det]

it gets so overwhelming to look around and feel like crap where to start???
do one job a day- the toilet one day, the basins another, floors another, change beds another blah blah
also get baskets to go around the house- you know the ikea collaspable ones and chuck the toys there. they are great as when people come over at short notice you can pick up everything at once and just dump them in the baskets!!!

Keep up with the washing as that just gets out of control soo easily- my dryer is my best friend- i do at least 3 loads a day and i have a 10kg washer!! I have an ironing lady who i love! My ironing usually costs me around $10 a week to get done and not worth me spending hours doing for such a small cost!

to get it under control to start with get DH to take the kiddies out for a couple of hours on the weekend and blitz it in one swoop. Once its done then i will be easy to maintain.

also do things to make it easier to maintain. Buy those harpic tablets that you put in the loo cistern that clean to loo when they flush- they work great and the kids cant grab them like they can those hanging things. You can get wipes called method wipes- they are a natural cleaner wipe that you can keep in the bathroom and quickly use to wash over the basins and then they flush- easy and quick to use! Buy the method daily shower clean and use it several times a week when you shower and it keeps the shower pretty!

get that nanny of your to pull her finger out and start cleaning up a bit!! you should really be coming home to a tidy house- i would be expected her to at least have the kids stuff put away and tidied before she leaves. It should be only your personal stuff and the heavy cleaning like bathrooms etc that you should be doing. Maybe she pull her weight rather than being on FB!!

btw having a 3rd adds heaps of extra mess and work- i was so surprised how much it went up when boof came along-esp the washing. Also, having a place for everything makes a big difference. Good storage, containers for everything etc means a place for everything and then everything in its place lol!!

hang in there hun- its just a matter of getting it all happening with a rhythm and at the moment you are trying to find your rhythm still
it will happen, but you just have to get it under control first
mwah mwah mwah

[feeb]

I'm a single parent. I work full time and long hours. Literally, the only way I cope is with routine, routine, routine. If I'm out of routine, things get out of hand really really quickly.

I did a big "this is my routine" post a while back and I'll have to try and find it. But you also must realise that you are at home all day on those days you don't work, and I'm at work all day every day, so most of the daily mess happens out-of-home for me. I just need to keep up with washing/dishes and a bit of tidying in the afternoons/evenings, whereas you have to do it ALL DAY on those days you are home.

I get up about 6:45am. I have a preset washing machine (timer) so the clothes are already through the cycle. I stick them in the dryer/on the line (depending on season. I have no compunction about using the dryer in the winter at all). Empty the dishwasher and make lunches. Boys get up about 7:15 - they have breakfast and get dressed straight away (they're 8 and nearly 6 so mostly do it themselves). They put their dishes in the dishwasher and their washing in the washing basket, and then they can play. While they're doing that, I have a shower and get dressed for work. We leave at 7:45am.

I get home anytime from 4pm-6pm. Boys bring in their own bags and empty lunchboxes into bin/dishwasher, have afternoon tea (if they haven't already had it), pack up their dishes into the dishwasher, and go play. I fold washing straight out of the dryer and put away straight away. I cook tea and we eat together. Boys put away dishes and have shower/bath depending on what I can be bothered organising. I clean up kitchen as I cook so there's no mess. When the boys are in the bath, I wipe over the bathroom and toilet. After pjs, we do readers/homework/books and bed. Boys are in bed by 7:30-7:45pm. I sit down for about 15 min lol.

At about 8pm I run the vac over the house and put the washing on the preset timer. Set the dishwasher and put it on. Mostly this is done by about 8:30pm. Thursday afternoons (when I don't have the kids) I do sheets and towels and wash floors, and do food shopping.

But I don't have an annoying bloke/male/OH getting in the way of everything all the time - that would be darn annoying! I am the only one responsible in my house, so if it doesn't get done, it's on me, really.

After 8:30pm I spend a lot of time working or online depending!

And if I'm late home then things are just later.

Hope this helps!

Wowsers I am tired Just reading that!! You are an inspiration to all for everything that you get done on your own and work in such a demanding full on job as well!! Well done hun xoxox

[njon2]

I try and do the dishes every night before I go to bed, and 1-2 loads of washing everyday.

When I have a spare moment (not many at the moment as DD has reflux and needs to be kept upright and I have yet to master cleaning with the baby carrier) I clean 1 room only. It only takes 15-20 minutes to put everything away, give it a quick dusting and vacuum.

The house is never 100% clean all the time but it doesn't look out of control either.

A friend of mine tends to pick everything up and dump it in a basket. Every time she walks past the basket she might add a couple things, but she also puts a few away as well. She does 1 mop and vacuum every week, sometimes around the items on the floor :-)

[Nai]

Remember too your kids are still really babies so they make more mess and are less help cleaning up! As Div said, the OH are often more of a hinderence than a help (and also tend to add to the mess). Also remember you have the nanny so they are all home all day every day - normally when you go to work everyone else is out of the house too. So you really have potentially more mess than most people to deal with! Cut yourself some slack - it is a big ask of anyone and it will get better as the kids get older.

Maybe do a quick tidy before bed each night and put the washing on to try to maintain some control. Then allocate a few hours on the weekend where DH takes the kids out of the house and you clean without interruption (or take turns doing this on alternate weekends?)

[Charlotte91]

.... Come live with me, Divvy!!! I'll pay you!!!

When DP is home (he usually works 10 days on, 4 days off. Sometimes a day off here and there), the house is a nightmare. I mean, geez, he was home for half a day the other week and it took me 2 days to get the house back to normal.
I just can't do housework when he's around cause he wants to cuddle or play PS3 with me or something.

I usually do housework when DD goes for her morning nap, which is anywhere between 7am-9.30am and she sleeps 1-3 hours.

I get a hell of alot of work done in that time. I can even put tea in the slow cooker.

Get a roster. Thats what helped me.

[Beach Mama]

I only work 2 days and struggle too but have done a few things that help me. I make a big dinner on the Tuesday night (night before my first day of work) and we eat that for 2 nights so nobody has to worry about cooking on the Wednesday. I also find doing a big clean up helps here, although if you have a nanny the kids might be making mess during the day? Whereas for us they aren't home so it stays relatively tidy. I tidy up after work before going to bed - no cleaning but I pick up clothes and toys off the floor -even if it is a washing basket run - where I walk through the main areas with a basket and chuck everything in there to be sorted on my days off. I also subscribe to the The Organised Housewife on FB and email. Although I don't go through all her lists I do use it to motivate myself and get myself organised and thinking of what I do need to do. I do one load of washing every day and on Fridays it is usually 2. We don't have a dryer so they come off the clothes horse's and back on again.

I also have a motto that close enough is good enough, if it means the floors are swept but not mopped so I can sit down and play dinosaurs with the kids or do some craft I have had to release some of the control I need over making the house perfect....Admittedly I will play with them then usually leave them to play alone while I DO mop but you know what I mean! I think having a list of things you want done on certain days is the way to go - I don't have a cleaner either but would love one just to do the bathrooms - for me they are the biggest things that get neglected. Good luck hun and you are working with very young ones - go easy on yourself, set your expectations to realistic and know that soon they will be old enough to help us out while we kick back and drink coffee

[RhiChiChi]

I'm like Divvy - routine helps me.

I work a five day fortnight (Mon, Tues every 2nd Fri).

DH & I meal plan on the weekends. Days that we both work, we use the slow cooker or have pasta. We usually will do a large shop on the weekend and just midweek pick ups like milk, bread etc...

On works days I usually don't make the beds until the arvo/night unless I have excess time. Other days I am home & the weekend, I make the beds in the morning.

Wednesday & the weekend I do washing. Clothes usually on Wednesdays, towels & linen on the weekend and DH work clothes and any other clothes that need washing. To get it dry atm, I use the dyer for some things (like underwear & towels) and all the others get hung on the clothes horse in the study with the door closed so it dries quicker. I fold and put away as they are dried. Iroining is done in front of the t.v. on a Sunday.

My main day of cleaning is Thursday - I do bathrooms, toilets, dusting, floors (vac & wash) etc....
During the week, I clean as I go (my gf gave me that tip). So, after dinner DH & I usually do the dishes together (one washes, the other dries and puts away) and sweep the kitchen/meals area floor. I tidy DD playroom (once she is in bed approx. 8pm) & if needed I do a quick sweep/vac.

DH makes his own morning tea/lunch.

I pack DD bag for creche/playgroup/swimming the night before.

I usually either have my clothes for work pulled out the night before or I already know what I am going to wear. I also have my bag packed the night before.

I found that tidying/cleaning as you go has helped me stay on top of things. Sometimes I am pushed to get everything done midweek (Particularly on the weeks I work three days), however I do it on the weekend if need be.

Have you looked at fly lady - I used her to get into a routine and modified it to suit me. GL

[emc2]

My place isn't very big so that helps. But I'm always having to rearrange and get rid of things which can take up oodles of time.

I just found those Flylady tips like putting shoes on, doing a load of washing every day, doing one chore on each day of the week - say vacuuming a help to me.

But you've got to do what works for you, it's like organizing a cupboard but with time, and so you know you might have things that are easier to access in a cupboard; the same with chores, you have things that are must do's and the rest gets done sometime or not at all.