Religious primary schools when you aren't religious? Your experiences?

[krysalyss]

We are currently deciding on a school for DS who starts prep next year. We are choosing between the state school here and the local lutheran school. There were good things about both but I tended towards the lutheran one more and DH the state school. At the private school interview there was a lot of talk about faith but we are not religious.

I would love hear others experiences of how they reconciled the differences between their lack of faith, and a religious school.
Thanks!

[misty]

I am genuinely curious, so i hope I am not out of place; but why, if you are not religious, would you send your kid to a religious school??

Religion would be a big component of any of its students education. So I guess it really comes down to "do you have an issue with religion?" and "do you have any issues with your children learning and quite likely taking on the beliefs which you yourself do not hold?"

I know growing up and going through the catholic school system, and having my DD do the same now, religion gets just as much time and attention dedicated to it as did maths or english.

[Floweryfields]

In my area religious schools tend to be much smaller. Children are taught better values and discipline is much better than the state system.
Personally - I wouldn't send my child somewhere I didn't believe in.

[krysalyss]

The reason why we looked at this school is because we had heard good things. And going around there were things that I really liked about it that were unrelated (at least directly) to the religious aspect. It was very obvious that the teachers and kids loved being there, and felt a sense of belonging. It wasn't just a duty but a desire to be at that school. I also thought it was quite innovative, good community, good resources. So I am attracted to the school for the things it brings apart from their religion. They did say that they have families of different faith there and respect that not everyone has the same faith. But then I wonder how it affects subjects like science, and also the counsellor is from the same faith and I worry that if he received counselling type advice it would be explained only in terms of the faith, and then it wouldn't reconcile with our own beliefs. Does that make sense?

[Olive]

we also looked into religious schools even though we are not religious...i too liked the look of our local lutheran but its impossible to get in to and the catholic school we didnt like and felt as non catholics, it was too full on. its so hard to choose, but i feel you need to go with what is going to suit you and your family the best. fwiw we had a chaplain at my state high school when i was there
i think lutheran schools cater very well for all reglions (or non religious)

[Elocin]

My eldest DSD is attending a Catholic high school, with DSD2 all set to attend next year. Neither we, nor DH's ex are religious.

DH and his ex chose the school because it is a smaller school with a fantastic reputation. Like you, they were looking for a school with a good sense of community and the availiability of one-on-one teachers for the kids.

Neither girl was actually christened, and while the school 'prefers' students to be of Catholic background, it's not a big deal. All students attend church and lithergy (sp?) while at school, and instead of the girls looking at it negatively ("gah, we've got to go to church again, grumble grumble"), we try to encourage it as another subject... something else to learn about. And honestly, we look at that way too... we've all (myself, DH, his ex and her partner) have attended church functions with DSD1 and we just look at like any other school function.

HTH

[Nai]

I think you need to weigh up the pros - the value you place on the education, the sense of community, the innovative methods etc and the cons - the fact that they are learning about something that you don't necessarily believe in. If you can reconcile that then you have your answer - if not, then you have to look at the alternatives.

Also remember that not all people who attend religious schools end up being religious either. Your DS will eventually make up his own mind about his own beliefs regardless of where you send him or who tries to indoctrinate him.

[skybie]

i really really wanted to send DD1 to the lutheran near us. but at the end of the day we couldnt afford to send 3 possibly 4 kids to a private school.
The school was fantastic and i really wanted DD1 to have some sort of grasp on religion.
i was raised as a nothing (athiest i think its called?) and have absolutely zilch understanding of religion.i felt it wouild be a good way for her to learn about religion even if she chose not to practise.
The girls who took us around the school said it wasnt so much about learning religion as learn respect for others ect.
If you like the school and you're happy to have your DS learn about religion then i say go for it

[SammyRo]

we're looking at a catholic primary school for our 2, as it is in walking distance (a pre-requisite for us), its pretty cheap, and I've heard great things about it. Yes, it does have a component of religious education and church attendance as part of the school week, but from what I've heard its not full on, ram it down your throat kind of religion. Its more morals and ethics.

I attended a catholic high school, and I wasn't indoctrinated into the catholic faith, I wasn't convinced to give up my own belief, and in fact, I think I was encouraged to develop quite liberal view points. And the fact that it was Catholic didn't affect what was taught in other areas of the curriculum, including science. We did do religious education as a subject, but it looked at a wide range of religions, with no condescension towards them, and I found that it gave me a good moral and ethical understanding.

If you do your research, and visit the school, then I think you'll choose the right school for you and your LO, regardless of its religious stance.

[krysalyss]

Thanks guys you have all been really helpful. I went to playgroup today and got some other perspectives as well as quite a few mums go there so I got to hear the opinions of an atheist whose kid goes there, a mum who is lutheran but not very hardcore, and another who is quite devout and is also a teacher so gave me some good perspectives on the teachings there and the philosophies and I think it settled some of my concerns. So at this point we are still undecided but leaning towards the lutheran school. While DH was still leaning towards the state school I was considering how I would put my case to him about the lutheran one when his mum piped up about paying for school, and about it being religious which got him all indignant and pushed him most of the way without me doing anything! LOL Gotta love MILs!

[LuluHB]

DD1 started kindy at the private Christian school and DD2 will follow her there next year. The school is kindy to year 12 and while the teachers and admin staff are all religious (its a pre-requisite of their employment), children attending don't have to be practising Christians. There is quite a focus on religion even for 4 yr olds - they pray before recess and lunch, pray for friends if they're sick, learn about the bible etc. My DH and I have both been christened but neither of us are practising - not even close.

We chose the school because it offers superior education and facilities, together with enouraging a well-rounded approach to overall life - kids provide community service at local old age community etc. While none of my family attend church, we do live by basic Christian values so I don't believe our choice to send the kids to a Christian school is at all hypocritical.

[krysalyss]

While none of my family attend church, we do live by basic Christian values so I don't believe our choice to send the kids to a Christian school is at all hypocritical

Actually, when I was speaking to the teacher today a lot of principles and philosophies rang true to how we parent as well e.g. how they deal with conflict and relationships.

[Ryatha]

Just thought I would add my two cents as a science and re teacher at a catholic school who isn't catholic.

I teach evolution to my students as it is a currently accepted scientific theory of how the world was created. The religious side of the school doesn't change what is required to be taught in subjects. I also teach year 11 religion and yes I teach morals and values, I make it clear to my students that it is their choice what they believe but I put forward the churches view, irrespective of my beliefs. I won't push mine on them and they respect each others opinion.

Dd1 goes to the local catholic school and enjoys the teaching she gets. Again it isn't rammed down their throats as long as they respect each others beliefs.

But the biggest thing I think in choosing a school is how comfortable you are when checking it out and that their focus (sport, arts, science, community) is the same as yours.


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- Sent from my iPhone so short and sweet

[BeautifulMadness]

i went to state schools and my Dh went to cathloic schools. so he is baptised etc

i loved the cathloic school and its system, but i also had my own worries but they assured me they wouldnt push it on him, let him make his own choice.

in the end, we just couldnt afford to send him...so state school it is

[Jellyfish]

My parents are not religious but I went to religious school (Lutheran). I think it depends on the school but mine, I never felt preached at or indoctrinated or anything. We went to Chapel and learnt about Christianity but we also learnt of many other faiths and I understood from an early age this was what some people believed but it was up to me to decide what I thought myself. I'm not religious now, I enjoyed the community and singing in Chapel, the stories and messages were also very interesting but that was all, the religion as a whole just didn't sit completely with me, they never grew from stories into something more; being submerged in a religion through schooling won't convert a person on its own but it does give them an oppurtunity to explore the topic in a safe environment imo. My parents chose Lutheran in particular as they wanted a co-ed school for me and my brother to attend together. My school had many people of different or no faith - from other forms of Christianity to Muslims, Buddhists, Agnostic, Atheist... it felt like a very accepting community tbh. I still enjoy learning about religion and respectful debate which I feel was nurtured by my education within the schools I attended. It is also my intention for DD (and the one on the way) to attend.

Somebody asked why non-religious people send their children to religious schools? Because often Private Education is affiliated with a religion and parents feel the resources and education they can provide is more suited to their child, simple as that really. You can respect and co-exist with a religion without being a part of it, I don't think there is any reason that religious schools should keep attendance to their own faith; I think that would be a disservice to all.

[Nai]

I just wanted to add that I went to a state primary and an Anglican secondary. My parents aren't religious at all. While at school I got myself confirmed and christened because I thought that was what I wanted. I am not religious at all anymore but I did get an outstanding education and eventually found my own belief system. I don't feel that it harmed me at all but theschool didn't push religion that strongly. We learned about all religions in our RE classes and we attended chapel once a week during school for an hour but that was it as far as I can remember.