On how to handle a very annoying and frustrating bit of carelessness from DD...
DD is currently responsible for making sure her bathroom is kept tidy. Toys away, clothes in the wash basket and bathtub emptied. But for some reason, she continually forgets to empty the bath. I've explained to her that before she knows it DS will start to become mobile, and leaving a bathtub full of water is not only icky but dangerous if he falls in he could drown. Essentially trying to get her into the habit of doing it now so it's less of an issue later on.
Last night she finished her bath, came out to watch some tv before bed - I asked her had she emptied the bath and she assured me she had. Only to find this morning that she hadn't. She'd lied about it. I'm at a loss for what would be the most appropriate consequence as removing toys isn't working. I need some way of drumming this into her head so she won't forget - short of writing it backwards across her forehead in permanent marker!
I was going to say the exact same thing! Maybe it's showers for a week as a consequence of her lying, after a week she gets to have a bath again and if she leaves the plug in, then it's back to showers.
Most appropriate consequence is no baths. Or you have to supervise her - which she will hate. Try putting a "have you emptied the bath?" sign up - like the "have you washed your hands?" ones you see in public lavatories.
What to do... how about that she has to show you that she has emptied the bath after EVERY bath for the moment - and if not, while the water drains she has to give you three reasons why she must empty the bath while you both stand in the bathroom? Three days in a row of this, no bath the next night.
Maybe a reward chart? If she remembers to clean the bathroom then she gets one star/tick and if she pulls the plug she gets another. When she reaches,say ten, stars (which she should be able to get in a weekday week) she can have the reward. Then make SURE the reward (or choices of reward) is something she really really wants! The important thing is to make sure she really wants the reward. It doesn't have to cost much - could just be staying up late one night or shopping with mum or bike ride. Can be worthwhile making it something you're going to do anyway - but she thinks she'll only get it if she collects her stars. Obviously the following week you'll need to change the reward or increase the number of stars she needs to collect to achieve it. But I reckon it would work a treat.
If she forges then you can simply say "oh that's a shame I wanted to give you a star but I can't. Oh well hopefully I can tomorrow". It will feel much nicer than telling her off.
Hope it helps. But whatever you decide - good luck!!!
Hmmmm... I am not sure how I feel with the idea of rewarding a child that age for something so simple they should be doing anyway??? I know our DDs are the same age. They are old enough to reason with. Or, at least, we should be able to reason with them!! If she does it again you could leave the water in there until the next night. Then, at bath time innocently say, "ok, hop in". She will be aghast. Then say, "oh sorry, I thought you must have been saving the water from last night to use tonight!! I cant imagine any other reason why you would not pull out the plug...'
Obviously, don't make her bathe in the water! But it might make her think....
Make her go and check when you ask her maybe. Sometimes kids just forget and are trying to brush you off so they don't have to stop whatever they're doing. Making her interrupt what she's doing just to check might help her be more aware.
Good point N2L - just another option to try. We have star chart for DSD and don't use it all the time but it helps for short periods here and there to build the 'habit'. Obviously the reward can't be there forever but it may change the dynamic to dd feeling/remembering she wants to do it. Yes it's something she should do anyway but everyone needs external motivators sometimes I think
Either way. Just a thought. Pros and cons whichever way you deal with the situation. I've done the reward and done the take things away and done the discussion - all have merit. It's just choosing which suits the situation at the time.
If you're persisting with the bath, I'd try to figure out with her why she's not doing it and then get her to come up with some ideas for how to make sure she does it. So if she's forgetting, she might find a reminder sign helpful, for eg. It becomes her solution then, and she's more likely to actually do it.
The consequence, as you can discuss with her, for still not doing it, could be something like showers.
I was also going to ask about showers ... most natural consequence IMO is showers (the next day, or 3 days, or week - whatever would be appropriate in your eyes) and then bath privileges resumes ...
I also wonder whether it's better to make it about your DS ("now that Penguin is here, we need to be careful about things which could be dangerous for him - so if you want a bath, you need to stay in the bathroom while the water drains completely") or whether you think you should distance it from him, so it's not perceived as being an inconvenience which is his "fault" ("you're 9, you're plenty old enough to bathe yourself, and part of that is keeping your bathroom clean - including the bath ...")
Normally I would've just gone to showers, but to complicate matters the shower in her bathroom I don't think is sealed properly - the carpet in the hallway ends up soaked somehow. She actually prefers showers a lot of the time, so I'm thinking I could go the other way and let her use the shower in our bathroom as a reward if she keeps her bathroom up to scratch. She's usually only with us for one weekend a fortnight, so whole week arrangements are a bit tricky.
She remembered without prompting tonight, so who knows - maybe we're getting somewhere with the "serious talking to"
If she remembered tonight, I'd say she's just getting distracted and forgetting. If you crack it, let me know if your technique would work for a 37 year old man who seems clueless (still) on what can be left lying around with a baby... I have a few months to work on him!
Reply With Quote
Registered User
Suggestions please..
Hmmmm... I am not sure how I feel with the idea of rewarding a child that age for something so simple they should be doing anyway??? I know our DDs are the same age. They are old enough to reason with. Or, at least, we should be able to reason with them!! If she does it again you could leave the water in there until the next night. Then, at bath time innocently say, "ok, hop in". She will be aghast. Then say, "oh sorry, I thought you must have been saving the water from last night to use tonight!! I cant imagine any other reason why you would not pull out the plug...'
Bookmarks