Reward system for toilet training?

[hopefulgirl]

Hi ladies, we have a very independent 27mth old DS so I thought it would be relatively easy to TT him as he is always insisting "I do it, i do it" for pretty much everything else. We started the TT about 2 weeks ago, undies during the day (still keep nappy on for sleeps) however it feels like 1 step forward, 2 steps back. Some days 3he seems to get it and has hardly any accidents, then the next day he does accidents constantly (and still no #2's in the toilet). If I think its nearly time for him to do a wee then i'll get him to use the toilet (the "big boy" reminder). I'm not sure he has identified the "urge" sensation yet, he may still be too young, but I thought he might respond better if I tried some sort of reward system, like maybe stickers for each time he goes and when he gets to a certain number of stickers, ie. 10, then he gets a small reward.

So, just wondering what sort of reward systems other mother's have used that worked, and what sort of rewards were included (ie. maybe chocolate or some yummy sweet he doesn't normally have)?

Was hoping to have made a bit more progress before our next bub makes his appearance...
Thanks in advance.

[LizLemon]

I've just trained my 2.5 year old DS. It was definitely like that with us at first with the 2 steps forward, one back. I also found that the more insistant I was with him going to the potty the more he dug his heels in.

I found the less I tried, and the less attention I gave it the more he did it himself. And at first he was not really identifying the urge for wees (only poos) but within a couple of days of making messes he worked it out.

We used tiny bits of chocolate and stickers. I think at that age they need more immediate reward, and in all probability the chocolate was more of an incentive than the stickers. So maybe the 10 sticker thing has too long to wait for it to be effective if that makes sense?

Also look at making the toilet a fun place to be - put a poster up, let him take a toy etc.

Although I just noticed how close you are to popping, so to be honest I'm not sure you'll be able to make much progress in the next few days that will be able to "stick" through the chaos of a new bub.

Best of luck!

[OceanPrincess]

Ooh it can be frustrating with these strong-willed LOs!!! Mine was similar!

We tried stickers - didn't do it for her. Some good advice I got was to "find her currency" - so what would work for her? What would motivate her? We hardly ever have sweet treats, so we decided on lollies. We bought some dried fruit (LOL - that was our "lollies") and every time she did a wee in the toilet (we ditched the potty), she got a fruit lolly. It was only tiny pieces of dried pawpaw and pineapple.

If we ran out of fruit lollies, we used tiny pieces of chocolate or real lollies but for the most part, it was fruit lollies.

We even used to to encourage her to try - I'd let her go about 2hrs max and then say if she went and tried to do wees, she'd get one. Most of the time she'd end up weeing so that was good.

I also pay attention to her signs - dancing and jumping around (I call it the "wee dance"), holding herself, getting a bit grizzly... all signal to me it is time to try and do a wee.

Good luck.

[nickle730]

One smartie for a wee in the toilet, two smarties for a poo in the toilet. Worked a treat with both of my older kids. When it came time to TT DS, DD1 did most of the work for me (she was about 4) - if DS managed something in the loo she got the same reward! She always remembered to take him to the toilet so that she could have a smartie, too.

I did make the mistake with DD1 of giving one smartie for a try and two for success. She went and sat on the toilet every 10 minutes then jumped off and asked for a smartie!! A try with no success got a kiss and a cuddle in our house...!

[kelsbels]

We are using stickers and so far it's working fantastic. We went and bought 3 big packets and mixed them all up in a bowl, so when she does anything on the potty or toilet, she gets the bowl to choose a sticker. We start a new line on the page each day so we can keep track of how many.

We had decided to take things slow, she's only 21 months, but so far we haven't had an accident in two days do hopefully we're on the right track! We won't think about night training until she drops her late milk drink and moves into a bed (a fortnight away hopefully).

Good luck!

[hopefulgirl]

Thanks girls, all very useful suggestions. You're right, i will have to find what works for DS, he's right into Thomas and trains in general so maybe i'll start with stickers along that line. Good point about the rewarding just for trying, i was going to do that but i can definitely see DS just going to the toilet to get a sticker or reward, so I'll make sure he only gets it if he does something.

Anymore hints/ suggestions greatly appreciated. It is close to when the new bub comes home but my mum will be here to help out for a couple of weeks when bub arrives and she's brilliant with kids and will try and continue with whatever system i have in place, who knows, it might work better when she's around

[Rowellen]

For my DS, rewards like stickers don't work at all. We trained him with lots of praise and cuddles. Lots of VERY over-exaggerated praise was what he liked. A big clap, "yay DS, claps for DS, aren't you clever" in a nice loud encouraging voice with a cuddle. He got a matchbox car the first time he did a poo on the toilet and then the first two times he took himself to do a poo (I bought a 5 pack and still two left!) but after he got the hang of it, we dropped that back to the praise & cuddles. The cars were a surprise reward. We didn't say "If you do a poo on the toilet, you'll get a car". After he did it, we said, "wow we are so proud of you, here's a present for making mummy so happy!" He still has occasional accidents 6 months on as in once a week maybe twice. He says "sowy mummy, didn't meeeean to. Axes'dent" Too cute!. We just say "oh well it was an accident. Try & make it to the toilet a bit earlier next time."

[Heaven]

Actually I wouldn't use rewards. I did with DD1 and then decided to stop, I won't be doing it with DD2. She ended up just going to the toilet to get the reward, instead of being motivated to go herself. She would quite happily wear a nappy if there wasn't going to be a reward. I wanted her to want to use the toilet itms. Every time she would go she would demand a reward and get cranky if I didn't give it to her, lol, and then when I stopped the rewards she went backwards a bit.

I would just wait til he's ready himself and it will be a piece of cake

[OceanPrincess]

Actually I wouldn't use rewards. I did with DD1 and then decided to stop, I won't be doing it with DD2. She ended up just going to the toilet to get the reward, instead of being motivated to go herself. She would quite happily wear a nappy if there wasn't going to be a reward. I wanted her to want to use the toilet itms. Every time she would go she would demand a reward and get cranky if I didn't give it to her, lol, and then when I stopped the rewards she went backwards a bit.

Yep, we did end up having to wean her off the fruit lolly rewards! Thank goodness they were only dried fruit pieces!!! I ended up saying things like "big girls don't get lollies for doing wees, does mummy get a lolly? No! Now that you are such a big girl, you don't need a lolly!"

[Little Chicken]

At the moment, a small box of smarties at the end of the day works here, well it got her on the potty at least. To get her on the toilet, we are currently using cheap craft butterflies, she loves butterflies a lot. Still not confident enough o go nappy less during the day(she only became really good at it about 3 days ago), but I took forever to find a system that worked here.

[hopefulgirl]

Thanks girls, lots of food for thought. This avo DS was really upset when he did a #2 on the floor (we were just getting organised for bath) so I had to reassure him it was ok. If I have any success with anything i'll let u know.

[LuluHB]

We used chocolate buttons for wees - one wee for one button, but like Heaven said we soon needed to stop that because DD2 could squeeze out seemingly 1000 little wees a day. We ended up not needing any reward for wees, but for poos they got a sticker for each poo in the toilet and once they had X number of stickers they could choose any toy they wanted. DD1 got toys and DD2 3 toys, then there was no looking back.