How do i tell them no?

[*LittleMissSummer*]

This may sound really weird, i have for a while noticed that i am slightly psychic i guess you could say. My dreams tell me alot about myself and often warn me about upcoming events. Most recently i have been having really vivid dreams about people who have hurt me in the past and have cut out of my life. In my dreams we make up and start our friendship over but then something happens and we end up having another fall out. I feel exactly the way i felt the same way i did when it actually happened. No friendship thats gone sour has ever just washed over me. I've grieved and become very depressed over it.

So with saying that, i feel like some people who i have cut out are trying to come back into my life and i'm not sure how to handle it. How do i say no to them? Should i give them another chance?

I just feel like that, that part of my life is over and is in the past. I have good memories with these people but can't use that as a reason to start up a friendship. I'm a different person now and honestly don't need/want them in my life.

[Starfish]

If you don't want a confrontation, just keep putting them off when they invite you to catch up, e.g. I'm busy now, call me next month... hopefully they'll get the hint and not call again. And if they do, you will have had time to think about whether you want to catch up or not.

[LionsandBears]

Say "Thanks for thinking of me. I wish you the best. I'm not interested in catching up."
if they persist, "I'm really not interested though I appreciate the invitation. Take care. Goodbye."

That's if it's by phone or in person. If it's via FB, delete and block them. You could write a post saying you're just doing a cull to keep FB to close friends only before you do, or not.

I think it's great you're protecting yourself like this. Remember, it doesnt matter what other people think of you. It matters what you think of you.

You could also imagine a pool of light around you, protecting you, and ask the universe to only bring positive people into your life.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I really hate confrontation and i have this annoying need to make other people happy so i am quick to forgive and forget and always end up being burnt again.

One of these people is blocked on my FB and i don't have her number and she doesn't have mine though she knows where i live and where i work and has been known to just show up. The last time i saw her i told her i was busy and snobbed her off but from my dreams i feel like she is going to try really hard to get back into my life.

Another i haven't seen in about 2 years, since my DD was born we had a massive falling out but again in my dreams she contacts me. She isn't blocked on FB so maybe i will just do it so i dont get any unwanted messages/emails.

Then the last only talks to me when it is convenient for her, i've been told by a mutual friend that she thinks we will be friends again and going by dreams ive been having its a possibility. It starts by her coming to me either by text/call or email and apologising and as usual i say "all is forgiven".

These 3 people i don't want to talk to, i don't want to see and really don't need them in my life. I just need to learn how to be strong and say NO. I've told DP especially with the last that no matter what i won't change my mind. I need to protect myself and i need to think of my kid/s.

[Tinks]

I just feel like that, that part of my life is over and is in the past. I have good memories with these people but can't use that as a reason to start up a friendship. I'm a different person now and honestly don't need/want them in my life.

You've put it perfectly here. Tell them exactly that.

[LionsandBears]

I really hate confrontation and i have this annoying need to make other people happy so i am quick to forgive and forget and always end up being burnt again.

This is something to work on. There's nothing wrong with saying no. Pleasing others all the time means you end up feeling liking a victim/martyr. It's no good for them and no good for you. Why give to others if it's not from a genuine feeling of wanting to rather than feeling obliged to? This is one of life's great lessons, especially for women. We are taught from a young age to please others. Small kids say No easily all the time. It comes naturally and then we're taught not to.

There's an old book called, When I say No I feel guilty, that might be worth reading.

Remember, you're not doing anyone any favours being a doormat, so stand proud and say No.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I do need to learn how to say no more. And i need to learn and accept that not everyone has to like me, the fact i like myself is all that should matter. I guess in time i will learn these things. But for now i will start saying No more often.

[zilly]

do your dreams also say the friendship has some good memories before it dissolves again? as I would be up for the more good memories, but not dwell on the bad ones when it dissolves again