Just b/c you "helped" at MIL's house does NOT means you can abuse me now!
Every night you've ignored Elly's crap. And even moved permanently into the spare room so you can ignore it even better. I had to do all the night weaning on my own, no help not once, and by helping at your mother's house I mean, abusing me for her wake up then storming out for a cigarette and only taking Elly off me when your mother appeared and then getting Elly settled in minutes and staying up to "chat" with your mother while she sends me back to bed for what you try claiming the next day took 2 hours to settle her, I was awake and listening idiot and it did NOT, and now tonight she does her normal crap and you're storming in yelling "what the bloody hell's going on" and abusing me for not pacing with her like you did in your one-off helping and trying to snatch her off me coz I'm not doing it your way, and then swearing at me and calling me a ***** and you name it...
I don't need this ****, I swear, one day I'll get so sick of this treatment that you WILL get the divorce papers, and it'll be because if I really have to do all this on my own, then I'll do it without the abuse, and because I'm not some piece of **** made to serve you and your teenage bullcrap, and if any of your family are reading this I DON'T CARE!
Is this a healthy situation for Elly? Seriously, what is Elly learning when she listens to this?
I second getting the counselling but some time out might also be appropriate. Can you take a couple of days away at a friends place and your H can handle it on his own?
Also, have you sat down and spoken to him about it calmly during the day?
It is a difficult situation but you mentioned divorce, so I think work needs to be done now to try and repair the cracks.
To be honest I doubt counselling would get through his fat skull and if it did it would be one thing at counselling, then once we got home and he'd have to do something, or once he rang up his parents, it would all go out the window. I don't think I even WANT to try anymore. Just bide my time till the kids are older and I go back to work. And I agree it's not healthy for Elly , seeing the explosions or the dysfunctional relationship either. We had a break during the week where he was gone for 3 days up at a course for his work but it helped nothing. Sorry all for my midnight venting
Gah. Does MIL know? My MIL, bless her, would have a go at DH when the kids were little because her DH used to do the same around his mum and even though DH was good he used to try ad impress her an MIL cottoned on and would say "That's nice that you want to help. Hope you do the same when I'm not here." etc. No wool over her eyes. And whilst initially he was a little deflated I think it gave him the kick up the bum he needed and so it became the norm and not just when we had guests. I think all boys like to impress their mothers. As for everything else... That's not cool and I hope you can work through it or do what's best for you and Elly. But maybe a quiet word or even a private cry for help with MIL might help. Maybe ask her how she would deal with it. If he is quick to impress her he might listen to her?
Nowhere else to go, and the peace we had last week made no improvement. And his mother sides completely with him in that "he works so hard" and when he's on his weekends off "he needs to rest", forget her help there. At least if he ever threatens in the event of dicorce that he's going to go for custody, then I've got "but you work too hard and you're too tired to cope with the kids now, how could you cope on your own" to throw back at him.
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Just b/c you "helped" at MIL's house does NOT means you can abuse me now!
well said
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