We want to be there but since the wedding is the day before I am due, the chances are very slim. I wont be able to attend unless I have given birth at least a week before. DH can go as long as Im not in labour or bubs arrived with in the last 24hrs.
But RSVP is late Feb which means we will prob both have to decline and hope we maybe able to just make the ceremony. Do you think that is the best option? That way no one has to pay for anything where it might be a maybe and the ceremony numbers aren't a issue due to no cost.
Would this offend you if you were bride and groom?
Tricky one, if it was a family members wedding then I would speak to the directly and say we would love to be there but there is a chance I will be in labour/recovering from birth and might not make it. They will either say something along the lines of 'oh what a shame, have a wonderful birth' and put you down as a no, or 'I'll put you down as a yes pending bubs arrival'.
If its a friends wedding and your DH really thinks he should go then I don't think it would be an issue to RSVP yes for him as the chances of you being in labour at that exact time/ 24hrs post bubs arrival is small, compared to the week you need to recover.
Best of luck
ETA I had this issue when I was due with DD1, she was due less than a week after the wedding so we said yes but made sure they knew we might not make it, or might come with a baby in tow, as it was DD came almost 4 weeks early and I left her with my parents five minutes from the wedding (they had it at their house) and drove back and forth for feeds/cuddles
My girlfriend declined our wedding because she was heavily pregnant, I knew it was highly likely, I invited her as a courtesy - so it didn't bother me. It just gave us the chance to invite others.
I also had to decline a friends wedding as we were delivering a few days before, we didn't want anyone to know so we just said, we can't attend incase I go early.
If they know your pregnant I am sure they will understand. My sister went into labour at our brothers wedding, you could always take that chance!
Do you think you will want to go to a wedding if bubs hasn't arrived by then?
I had to cancel dinner plans due to early labour (that went away, but last thing I felt like doing was being sociable! LOL). I would think that unless they were very close family or friends, a wedding is probably not going to be top of your priority list just then. I would not be at all offended by someone saying they couldn't come because their baby was due to arrive bang on that time and they didn't want to cause any inconvenience. I'd think it was very considerate of them.
TBH I think anyone who doesn't understand the situation you're in is being unreasonable. In your situation I would contact the bride by phone and just say what's in your post - you want to be there, don't want her to have to pay for you if you can't make it etc and then let her decide. If it were my wedding, I would say please come if you can, both of you or just your hubby, and there's no way I would be grumpy if you didn't show because bubs showed at the "wrong" time.
Depends whether you went early or late with your other children? I tended to go waaaaay overdue, 2 weeks with both the boys, so I would have been fine to attend. Just fat kankles and the joy of fitting into a maternity dress for a wedding. I attended a wedding at 38 weeks this year and that was tiring.
Like you said, maybe just attend the ceremony and decline the reception, that way they're not paying for two attendees, given there's a real chance that you won't make it. Even if you attend the ceremony - you'll probably feel pretty tired and not wanting to stay up late and party on, anyway. It shouldn't be an issue with the couple - maybe just give then a call to explain it.
With my other 3 children I have gone at 38-39 weeks due to my BP likes to rise at the end of all pgs so i get induced.
If I had no popped, nope sorry as selfish as it sounds I would not be going. My last labor was 35min and I would be mortified if I went into labor on/at her big day.
Its more hubbies friend then mine so I would like him to go, but as I said it all depends. I guess the safest option is to say no to reception and hope we can make the ceremony.
If that's the case Beatrix then I think that's the right thing to do - sounds like its way too much on you. The last thing you want to have on your mind is worrying about someone else.
I was invited to a wedding which was one week after my due date.
I just spoke to the groom (a colleague) and told him the dates, and asked him to chat with his bride and to let me know in a week whether they wanted to invite someone else in my DH and my stead (they had invited my DH out of courtesy - they didn't know him from a watermelon).
They chatted, and decided that I am so fabulous that they'd rather pay for the seats even if there was a significant chance I wouldn't be able to attend, rather than removing that option altogether.
How well do you know the bride and groom? I would just explain the situation to them and work it out with them. Perhaps it won't be a hassle if you have to cancel with short notice, on the other hand they might be pressed for numbers and would like to invite someone else if there is a good chance you won't be able to make it!
I'm now picturing you delivering at the reception - perhaps after main course but before dessert? I love a wedding and love a birth... both together? Sounds great!!
I'd just call them and explain it exactly like that. The rsvp doesn't *have* to be the provided card, or written. Then they can decide if they'll keep your seats or invite someone else. Surely though, they know it's close to your edd and expect a call or something.
Also, if it's a stand up ****tail reception like mine was, chances are it won't matter if you say yes but can't turn up, as they're not going to wind up with empty seats.
I'm in the same situation with an invite a week before I'm due. It's DHs cousins wedding, we are thinking he will go (as long as I'm not in labour!) but not drink alcohol just in case. I may take DD to the ceremony only (if bub hasn't arrived) but lets face it - outdoor wedding in late Feb at 39 weeks gestation - hmmm uncomfortable! I think the bride and groom will understand completely if you decline.
My best friend got married when I was meant to be 38 weeks. All along I told her I would be there as long as bub hadn't arrived. And she was fine with the off chance it would happen.
Well I ended up having bub at 30 weeks and bub was discharged 5 days before the wedding.
Personally if your open and honest I am sure they will understand
Wedding invite- day before due date
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I would not be at all offended by someone saying they couldn't come because their baby was due to arrive bang on that time and they didn't want to cause any inconvenience. I'd think it was very considerate of them.
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