Weaning from Sleeping in a wrap and settling issues - Help

[MummyNaomi]

Arrggghhhh DD is driving me batty. She used to be a great sleeper and settler until about a month ago. She has been wrapped in a muslin for sleeps since birth, which in itself is not a problem, but since just before Christmas she has been fighting the wrap when I settle her to sleeps (day and bed for the night). I've tried settling her without it - no go, she flails her arms and keeps herself awake and annoys herself (rubbing her face, nose etc). I tried a swaddle bag (Love to Dream Swaddle) which didn't really improve anything, I've tried a grobag (still have the flailing arms problem).

She also has this annoying habit of rubbing her feet together which keep her awake and annoy the crap out of her, so I've put socks on her (even in hot weather) to stop her chaffing the skin, she rubs them with some force! This doesn't solve the problem as she will still rub them together but at least she isn't scratching/hurting her skin. She is clearly tired and I've tried putting her to bed at the very first sign of tiredness, quite drowsy or letting her get very tired (eg falling asleep in the bouncer).

I've tried feeding her to sleep (works sometimes), rocking her, bouncing her, cuddling her, laying her in the cot (she just stays awake and eventually gets upset), laying with her etc etc. She's just so unpredictable. I know there is a wonder week around her current age (25 weeks), but this has been going on for the better part of 3-4 weeks now.

I'd really like to wean her from the wrap, especially in this hot weather, but I am at a loss as to how to do it and get her to sleep successfully.

Once she is asleep, she'll generally nap for 1-2.5hrs which is great, and overnight feeds once, sometimes twice (this isn't a problem as she falls asleep on the boob in the middle of the night and I can pop her back in the bassinet asleep) and she is in bed at 7pm, awake about 630am, but the debacle to get her to sleep for the night and for day sleeps is draining me, sometimes it takes 30-45mins+ to settle her, what am I doing wrong? She has just gone from 3 to 2 day sleeps (just following her lead)

I am seriously thinking that if she is going to fuss and cry while I settle her I may as well just let her cry it out, however I am not at all fond of this approach so wont be doing it. Currently I have just decided if she is going to carry on so much I just stop trying to put her to sleep after 10 or so minutes and bring her back out to the living area where she fully wakes again and I try again when I see more tired signs. I have a 3.5 yo so I need to share my time with him also.

Any other ideas, I am totally at a loss. Am I missing something?

PS. Baby Wearing isn't a solution either, she wont sleep in it currently

[Onelittleprincess]

Could have written the same!!! Only my issue is staying asleep rather then getting to sleep.

Perserve and keep trying

[Taurean]

I'll have to be brief hon as I've got to get moving so excuse the bullet point reply

- DD2 hated her arms out and it was a nightmare when I put her in Grobags. She had LOVED the Love To Swaddle bags and really liked her hands covered so I bought Sleepy Wings. Worked a treat but it was a little tough weaning her off them when she was rolling all the time. We did get there eventually though.

- DD2 didn't and still doesn't settle to sleep out in the lounge or in the company of others, lol. It has to be in her bedroom. This threw me as DD1 was the opposite! I fed her to sleep (breast then onto bottles) in the lounge, by the BBQ, etc every night until she no longer fed to sleep. She'd nod off happily with the noise, loved it. Anyway, I just took DD2's lead which was annoying but it worked - I moved my BF rocker to her room and fed her there. When she was in our room, I sat on our bed. I know how difficult it is to do that with a toddler to watch too but I just saved favourite DVDs or taped episodes of Play School and DD2 would be (and still is) happy and quiet while I settle/d DD2.

- DD2 totally regressed sleep wise at night (days were always good and still are) around 5 months and, dare I say it, slept terribly for about 3.5 months!! I couldn't work it out for the life of me but one thing I did learn about her in this period is she really needs to be held really tight to go to sleep. She fights it but I worked out she really loved it as just magically she'd be asleep - from screaming and flailing to BANG, sound asleep. I think her love of the swaddle and tight sleeping bags in the early days may have created this obsession. Anyway, something to try maybe?

- DD1 was crappy day sleeper until 6ish months so she slept in the sling during the day. I know you said that's not an option really but it worked so well for DD1, she practically lived in it. I personally find sling wearing not as practical while running around after a 2/3 year old so I'm thankful DD2 didn't need it.

- Is your DD teething? Have you tried Nurofen or panadol to see if she's in pain?

- does you DD have reflux? Both my girls did (DD2 still does) and it had a big effect on their sleep.

That's all I can think of for now. Will come back later if anything comes to mind. I had the opposite with my two girls when it came to sleep, one was crap during the day for awhile the other was a night, so I've tried a lot of tricks over the years.

Oh, and big hugs. I know it sucks at times

[onthefly]

What a pain!
I think an extended regression at this age is not uncommon. There can be a number of factors involved - there's a spike in separation anxiety around this time (maybe? best guess), and sometimes there are teeth and other stuff going on, too.
I would also just give up after 10-15 minutes. It's often not worth the stress and effort Though, having said that, 30-45 minutes would count as a pretty quick session for my kids
Good luck!

[~TT40~]

not much advice because Spock is very simular. unless I put her in the carrier (which if times correctly she will be asleep in 10 mins), but if I don't want to carry her around I go to the bedroom and feed her tosleep, which works about 75% of the time, and can take 45mins to do (for what has been only 30min naps - but that is the same no matter what I do). I weaned her from wrapping to the love to swaddle bag, but she is too big for that now, and I weaned her off that to sleepy wings. I only weaned her out of swaddling because of the heat. and i wouldnt say successfully, as she still wakes 3hrs at night (im lost as to why, I think it is just her). I do know with sleepy wings you can have her arms up near her head or you can turn it around and have arms down, but dont know how that will work if she can roll as she wont be able to roll back.

also Spock does that foot thing too, its a tired/frustrated thing. annoys the crap outta me and DH!!!

[HomeStyleMumma]

Have you tried just wrapping one arm in leaving the other out? I've swaddled all my babies and had various degrees of difficulty weaning them from it. A couple were really quite fine but as it was around the same age as your dd they were rolling etc so they just decided that sleeping on their tummy was comfy and didn't seem to miss swaddling much. Ds1 was difficult but as we were traveling up north in the heat he pretty much just had to get used to the idea coz he definitely couldn't sleep wrapped up there. But yeah I'd try slowly weaning, maybe start just a smaller wrap to hold her arms down and when she's used to her legs being free wrap one arm in for a while. She might protest a bit but I've found it the worry about it being difficult before hand is usually quite exaggerated. Hope you work something out soon though

[Three Graces]

Sleepy Wings. Look them up online - they've worked a treat for us. Our DD loved to be swaddled and I weaned her into the wings - downwards at first and then upwards (especially if they can roll). Her arms flail all over the place without them and she mucks around with her dummy when her hands are out. They're good for summer as they don't get too hot.

[MummyNaomi]

- DD2 hated her arms out and it was a nightmare when I put her in Grobags. She had LOVED the Love To Swaddle bags and really liked her hands covered so I bought Sleepy Wings. Worked a treat but it was a little tough weaning her off them when she was rolling all the time. We did get there eventually though.

Thanks Taurean - how old was your DD when she started using the sleeping wings and how old when she stopped using them? DD is almost 6 months and starting to roll, although doesn't tend to roll when wrapped in the cot, so thinking that if its something I might only use very short time until the rolling builds up it might be a waste of time (and stress) for us both. She's a good sleeper once asleep, its just the settling to sleep thats the issue. I tried your idea re hugging her real tight (I used to do this when she was littler, a bit harder now at around 8kg), but it did seem to work, she fought me at first though and we both got a bit hot and bothered so I just stood us in front of the fan holding to to me and she did go into quite a deep sleep so I got her into the cot pretty quick.

HSM - I am thinking I might try the one arm out idea, I think it might be best just to go cold turkey and ditch the wrap, I might buy a thin summer sleeping bag and work towards getting her happy in it.

Mad B - she just got two teeth at the end of Dec, so likely some more will appear soonish

TT40 - ahhh the foot rubbing, isn't a PITA? Sometimes I think this is most of the problem, she just agitates herself.

Thanks everyone, I needed some new approaches, thanks for sharing some fresh ideas with me, I shall persist!!

[wysiwyg]

No suggestions at all - just don't read any of my posts about DS because his real resisting problems started at exactly age your DD is now - but have come and gone and come and gone etc etc etc etc.

The hugging tight thing definitely worked for quite a while for us - until he got too big/strong.

[MummyNaomi]

No suggestions at all - just don't read any of my posts about DS because his real resisting problems started at exactly age your DD is now - but have come and gone and come and gone etc etc etc etc.

The hugging tight thing definitely worked for quite a while for us - until he got too big/strong.

Aggghhhhh too late! Already read! I think Anni is just strong willed, I don't know where she gets it from, hehehe
Bailey was so easy to get to sleep most of the time (and still is), although I think that was in part due to his low tone issues as he'd tire pretty easy

[~ Mylitta ~]

A close friend of mine is a baby chiro and I remember her mentioning one time that it's not good for a baby's spine/neck to have one arm unwrapped. She said that if we were ever going to do it, to swap sides so that you alternate arms each sleep to maintain balance.

I know it's against the "safe sleeping" rules... but have you tried putting her on her tummy? If she almost rolling then her neck is really strong already and the risk is very very small. Even if you pop her on her tummy and see if she'll go to sleep easier when you are with her. If she falls asleep and you are worried you can try rolling her onto her back once she's asleep. DS had a lot of trouble sleeping, and although he showed a strong preference for tummy sleeping, we persisted and made him sleep on his back. Both the girls have been tummy sleepers from a really young age, and they are great sleepers. When they were really little we found that being on their tummy completely stopped the startle reflex because their arms were against the bed and couldn't jump up. I also think they sleep better because the pressure against their tummy, face and limbs is comforting and feels more like someone is holding them.

May be worth a try

[Taurean]

How's your DD going hon? I realised I didn't get back to you. I can't exactly remember when we weaned DD2 off her sleepy wings but it must have been around the 8 month mark I think so yeah, your DD might be a bit past them. Some babies do use them past this age though and even when rolling as they are stretchy so they *should* be able to get their upper body up off the mattress if need be.

[~TT40~]

just letting you know Spock has slept without the wings the lastfew nights and is going well. so she is 7 1/2 mths and offically unswaddled etc

[MummyNaomi]

Thanks for checking in Taurean

Great news TT40

She turned 6mo yesterday. We've weaned her from the wrap, she's slept the last three nights without it - yay! We've tried tummy sleeping with mixed success but she seems ok without the wrap now, I put her in a sleeping bag last night which worked really well

As for settling her to sleep, I think that it's in part separation anxiety as if I am cuddling or holding her for a good half hour before we attempt nap or bedtime she settles without fuss. We are just coming out of a massive wonder week too (22.5 - 26.5 weeks) which had been our worst.

It's all getting so much easier. I had a massive cry to DH a few nights ago as was just drained and over it all but it seems we've turned a corner with DD since then

[Taurean]

So glad to hear hon! Yay!

It's so draining when they have sleep issues, especially at night. I have no idea how I functioned when DD2 went through her crappy sleep for 3.5 months. I think my body just got used to it in the end but there were certainly tears (from both of us!) and many crabby mummy/wife moments. DD2 still likes to be snuggled to sleep but I'm just running with it. DD1 has proven that in time they just do things by themselves

[Taurean]

And TT, yay for Spock too! WTG little cherub!