What if I'm not done...

[Bloom]

we have 3 beautiful children. I have always wanted 4. The first two were IVF due to male factor fertility issues and the Dr said we had zilch chance of falling pregnant naturally. Suprise - DD was born when I had an 18 month old and a 3 1/4 year old! We had always wanted 4 but were thinking of having a bigger gap between 2 and 3.

Now we talk about what to do about contraception. Obviously DD was some kind of miracle. But DH doesn't want to go back to IVF. We also wouldn't destroy any embryos and have an "every embie gets a chance" policy so we would put them back in even if we had a 4th child.

DH sometimes wavers on the 4th. He'd be happy with 3 but could do 4 for me. I know I want 4. t I have this horrible fear that if/when no. 4 is born, what if I don't feel finished? 5 is a huge family! I don't want to want 5, but what if 4 isn't enough!

Tell me about how you came to have your larger families and if you are "done"

[bubno.3]

Personally i just knew that the 3rd was it for me ...... i could not handle looking after any more .. i think it is your sanity that you need to think about

[RockingBaker]

We are in the opposite predicament. I feel done but hubby wants one or two more. I've been through 3 c/s and my last pregnancy was horrible with anxiety after Sophie died. I'm done, our van is full, our eldest 4 are starting to TT and the thought of getting pregnant again makes me feel like I'm losing myself as a person even more.

[Freya]

Well we have had a 4 year journey to our fourth child, due in about 8 weeks. I knew quite strongly after baby #3 that I was not done, and I always said that I wanted 4 or more children. Dh would have been happy with 2. We didn't anticipate the long journey of TTC and miscarriage so the four year age gap would have been smaller.

I feel quite strongly this time round that this baby is our final baby. I could be fine with 5 but I'm honestly feeling content with the idea of four, with this baby being our last. I never say never but eventually reasoning has to come into play.

[Arimeh]

I was done after 3. And then we had number 4. And I was done. Done as done could be.

Now I'm pregnant with number 5, and I'm terrified!!! I never wanted another one because I struggle with the ones I have! I did have 4 in 4 years though, and its just starting to get easier, and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was really looking forward to next year, when I would have one in grade 2, one in prep, one in kindy, and just my nearly 3 year old at home.

Now I'll have a baby as well - and I didn't plan this, and its been very hard to deal with.

4 was my limit. I don't regret her at all because she is freakin' amazing and I love her to death, but I'm scared what will happen after this one is born.

[Sorka]

We had always planned on 4. Once they were all here we kind of decided together that we would have one more. Would have been nice to be a little girl but we got a beautiful little boy. Wouldn't change it at all as we're all kind of focused on boy things iykwim. Are we done? I keep telling myself yes, it's hard work being a mum and doing the newborn thing over and over - but I still long for a girl. I think my husband would agree to one more if I asked. He has even brought it up on occasion. Would definitely give it a longer gap though and enjoy every second in a more relaxed way. I thought I would be done at 4, then I thought I would be done at 5 - maybe I'm just to easily lead when I look at the little gummy smiles I get. Why do they have to keep sucking me in! With their cuteness!!!

[KimB]

I had my 6th in 2011 and we are surely done. I feel funny though knowing that my DD is the last baby I'll ever have but I also know that I couldn't handle any more and neither could my body. I think you know when you are done. Good luck

[Lisa]

I was well and truly done after 4, then DD3 decided she wanted to make her way into our family too. I knew #5 baby would be our final and DH got a vasectomy. Now, 2+ yrs later, we'd both love #6. I'm okay with no more but we both agreed that we would have had more if we could, both physically & financially. I guess the vasectomy was the best thing as I wonder if I'd ever get that feeling of being done.

[~clover~]

I'm done. I'm sooooo done!

I was happy with 3. I still have moments where I think about only 3, since DS started school this year. I love DD3 to death, but she's holding up the show
DD3 was not planned. And was sent to make sure I'm done (I say this as she pulls off my clothes & rocks on the clothes horse). She's just starting to toilet train & finally sleeping most of the night, so I'm finally only just feeling like I'm getting some of myself back.

If I meet someone with no kids & he's supportive, I might consider another one, but not unless I have FULL support. I've raised 4 alone, there's no way I'll do it again.

All I've done since I was way too young was raise kids. I'm waiting impatiently for me time