What do I do here?

[~clover~]

It's DD1's 11th birthday on Saturday. We're having a sleep over on Friday night. Letting her invite all the girls, because there are only 5 or 6 of them in her class

Problem is that there is one girl she's not sure about. And its not for good reason IMO. This girl has bladder problems & wets herself at school. She's in year 5. Her & DD aren't very close, because she is younger. Other than that she's a good kid, no other reason for anyone to have a problem, but of course, when you're 11/12 its a problem

DD knows that its not fair to not invite her, but she's thinking noone will come if she does invite her. I know at least 3 of the girls won't care, one I'm not sure about & the last ones mother will most likely accept that as a good enough reason not to come, even though her DD & mine are friends. Then the way she has ner nose in the air lately her DD probably won't come anyway.

I don't wanna be a horrible mum, & make her invite someone she doesn't like, but I don't want the other girl to be the only one not invited.

What do I do?

[Tinks]

Invite the girl. If these girls won't come because your DD has invited someone they don't 'approve of' then they are not girls your DD should be associating with.

[~clover~]

Thats what I thought too. And thats exactly what I said to her. That if they don't come for that reason, they aren't real friends.

[HomeStyleMumma]

Yep what tinks said. But also there is the possibility that the girl herself will not want to go for fear of embarrassment, or that her mother/carer has some sort of night continence backups in place. Could you call and discuss with her any possibilities?

[feeb]

Invite here, as if the others girls are going to be like that she doesn't need them as friends, and the girl with the issues may not want to come anyway due to being worried and embarrassed. Maybe her mum would bring her for dinner and fun and pick her up in evening before sleeping?

Hope your DD has a fun party.

[nothing2lose]

I would sit down with your DD and ask her to put herself in the shoes of the girl if she is the only one not invited.
Tell her sometimes a little kindness can go a long way and that, if Anything, the girl needs extra support and friendship, not being excluded and shunned.

[diannescruffy]

Your DD would be setting a great example by inviting this girl, it often only takes one person to accept another and the others will see this.

Regards,
Dianne

[Heaven]

I would do what n2l said. And also ask her how she thinks might be the best way to respond if her friends say anything negative about inviting the girl.

[LizLemon]

This really is one of "those" moments, where your daughter can do something great and learn a good lesson. I think you should invite the girl. I know at 11 I would have struggled to understand but in the long run I know I would always want friends with continence problems over ones that would shun a party because I'd invited someone with continence problems.

I hope it all goes well

[~clover~]

Well she made the decision herself to invite her. She knows the 3 girls she's closest to won't care & will be here no matter what. She's never made this girl feel left out or uncomfortable like the other kids do, but with peer pressure she does say the same *****y crap the others say when the girl isn't around.

The girl wasn't at school today though, so hopefully she will be tomorrow. I'd hate her to feel left like she was left out on purpose!