How did you all know you were ready to dd to your family? Our dd is almost 11 months old and was 3 years in the making, our beautiful rainbow baby. We would love a 2 yr age gap and after the issues last time we know it could take a while. DH is keen to start trying again but I found myself a little bit hesitant as I feel guilty for our baby. I feel like she could miss out on me if I am sick again but I also know how amazing it would be for her to have a close sibling.
I guess I am also scared of that emotional rollercoaster again. Any hints?
For me I just knew I wanted another and for there to be about a 2 year gap. From when DD1 was about 10-11 months I couldn't wait to start TTC again, but waited until she was 15ish months.
I had severe PND with number one but even before he was born I knew I wanted them close together and -started ttc again at 4 months because ds took 1 year but it only took us 3 months second time -for him to have a sibling they are 17 months apart and after having number 2 I feel my body and mind needs a rest from ttc, pregnancy, birth and babys and I'm quite content in waiting at least 3 years before another I guess you just have to listen to your body
You will know when you are ready.
I know for sure that your DD will not miss out on on anything, you wont let that happen And who's to say you will get as sick again? Every pregnancy is different and there is no way for sure that you will have the same or similar symptoms again.
For us, we just decided to take the leap of faith, trusted that it would happen when the heavens and baby were ready.
But Im thinking some friendly stalking may be in order from now on
It isn't amazing to have a close-in-age sibling - many of us hated it, many still dislike their agemate sibs.
When you want another child, go for it. Not until then. And not so your dd can have a sibling: that is not a life essential.
Fwiw, I was considering #2 and #3 when in labour as I was threatened with a hysterectomy and that was all I could think of. Ready to ttc when in hospital. But that is me, not you.
I wanted another baby after DS, but it wasn't until he was about 18 months old that I got the physical urge to have another - and trust me it is physical, I swear my uterus would contract when I held a newborn PMSL
But while DS was little - eg from birth to 2yrs, I could not imagine having two little people to share my time with, personally I felt while DS was little I wanted to be there 100% for him. In the end our age gap is 3yrs3m, which has been quite smooth sailing. DS was old enough to understand why Mummy was busy with the baby, and old enough to amuse himself most of the time while I was feeding/settling etc. I don't think a younger child would understand or cope, but then I could be very wrong!
We had been not using contraception since DS1 was born as we were told we couldn't conceive naturally. We had always planned to start IVF again when DS1 turned 1. So we saw the FS when he was about 11 months and I was actually doing an IVF cycle on his first birthday! That worked so we have a 21 month age gap. We knew it could take a while and preferred to have them close together rather than have a big age gap. I knew I was ready because I just wanted to hold another newborn in my arms.
We also have an unplanned but delightful 18 month age gap to DD. But I am at my limit of what I can cope with right now in looking after them all and having time to enjoy with each one. I am looking forward to TTC again but I have to wait to loose weight and also I know that having 4 under 5 would be nuts.
I had a plan in my head of how I wanted to have 2 kids close in age and just did it without considering whether I was ready or not. I don't think it was the smartest thing to do as I have really struggled. I thought it would take longer to concieve DD but as usual, mother nature works in her own way, not in my timeframe lol. Before DS, we had been told we wouldn't concieve naturally. Even though we proved them wrong with DS, I had a fear that number two wouldn't happen very easily. I was afraid the gap would push out to 4 or 5 years if I waited longer to get started. Clearly this fear was unfounded for me. I would wait a bit longer if you don't feel ready. If I could go back I would probably wait longer too. It is starting to get easier but it's been a hard 2.5 years for me.
Getting to having our DD1 was a bit of a bumpy road. And for ten months after she was born, I knew I wanted another, but didn't really think about it. Then as soon as I got my cycle back, that physical urge was there. Because of our bumpy road,we relinquished control. We decided that we would be happy with any age gap and just let it roll from there. Admittedly, our problems weren't fertility related, so not quite the same. But it's important to remember that there is no perfect age gap - they've all got their pros and cons. Baby number 2 will come to you when the time is right, whenever that is, and it will be the perfect gap for you.
Like you, we *knew* it might be a struggle to have another baby so we started trying when DD1 turned 1. Nothing was happening and we started to get serious around four months later. Fast forward through three m/c, numerous alternative medicines, clomid, lap and dye, IUI and IVF and we finally have a nearly 9 mo. Our eldest is 6. I never wanted this big age gap but really wanted another baby. Would i change anything? No, its worked out wonderful but during that whole process I was close to breaking point. I guess what I am saying is that you only know when is the right time and know that any variables could present themselves such as falling pg straight away to the other end of the spectrum and to not have any expectations of what *should * happen and when. iTMS? Huge hugs its such a huge decision to make when you have variables against you. Just a thought, what about you go with not preventing/not trying and see where the universe takes you? X
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How to know you are ready for another baby?
And who's to say you will get as sick again? Every pregnancy is different and there is no way for sure that you will have the same or similar symptoms again.
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