Not happy Jan....

[slimjadey]

Well, today i had my latest appointment at the hospital where i told my doctor i wanted a VBA2C. She was not supportive
She basically told me that it was not recommended but that she couldn't stop me and that we would have an "ongoing discussion" about it.
Also they would do continuous monitoring and they wouldn't let me go more then a couple of days over my due date.
I asked at the desk when i booked my next appointment if there were any other doctors there who would be a bit more supportive but the midwife said that they would all tell me the same thing.
I feel so angry and dissapointed that there isn't a person there who would seem to support me. It almost makes me want to have an unassited birth at home just to spite them but i also don't want to be too far from a trained professional if something should go wrong. I don't have private health cover so looking for another hospital like a private one or finding someone who will support me in a home birth is not really a possibility.
I can't get over her arrogance about it all too! She wanted to know why i wanted this and I tried to explain to her that i didn't want to miss out on all the good experiences that come from a natural birth. She actually said to me that she can't understand why women would want to "damage their vaginas when they already have a c-section scar" gawd that made me angry!
At the end of the visit she also pretty much tried to tell me that i was putting baby at risk and that we don't want a sick baby. She also put down these forums after i mentioned that i had been talking to other women here about VBACs saying that it wouldn't mention all the risks here, which is total BS, these forums are a place to talk about EVERY aspect of everything to do with pregnancy, birth and babies.
Not sure where i should go from here... maybe i should ring around and try to find another public hospital

[blue daisy]

Hey jade

sorry you are having a tough time...but you will prob get the same response from most Dr's

they cannot force you to do anything...and no birthing woman puts her baby at risk

arm yourself with a great supportive and proactive birth team...a doula would be great...write a comprehensive birth plan...be confident, be so in love with yur baby that you know that this is what you want and what is right for your baby

i could go on grrrrrr...but you are not asking the impossible ok hun

xx yogababy

[BellyBelly]

I know of some midwives who would support you. Would you like some details? Even if you have a homebirth or public hospital but have the private midwife to come with you, at least you will have someone on your side.

[Alan]

Hi Jade
It is so dissapointing when doctors take this atitude. Unfortunatly I agree with Yogababy, you will probably get this response from most octors.
If you are considering a homebirth then you may be able to find a midwife who will let you pay by installments or even let you pay when you get the baby bonus.

[sirhokko]

I was wondering why you thought homebirth isn't an option? There is a consumer group here in SA called birth matters that can help you with your birth options the person to ring is Tania Smallwood and her number is 83394074.

I am one of the independent midwives here and I would be more than happy to discuss options with you and put you in touch with others who have birthed after 2 sections. CARES is another consumer group here that may be able to help. I'm afraid I haven't got that number to hand but they have a website. Deb mingie is the contact person.

Feel free to ring me anytime 83391241 or mob 0439802937.

Just for added interest the Homebirth network meeting is this Friday at 10am at the Goodwood community centre on Rosa street just off goodwood road. You are welcome to come and talk to some women and midwives who may be able to give you some inspiration.

good Luck
Lisa Barrett

[Phteven]

If the hospital can't provide you with the support you need maybe a home-birth would be a better option for you.
I saw that in your first post you were concerned about being close to care if something goes wrong but if you live in an urban area you're still close enough to transfer in the very rare event of needing hospital intervention.

[Julie Doula]

Hi Jade, well that Ob sure said everything you need to know that she is NOT the right caregiver for you. Whew! She told you a lot of rubbish. Not very professional IMO. Very very slim chance of getting the kind of care you need and deserve from someone with such attitudes. What a shame, that as an Ob and a woman herself, that she is so ill-informed.

* you are not endangering your baby
* c/s is not safer for babies, in fact, there are certain risks specific to c/s for babies, and the majority of baby deaths in Australia this year are caused by complications from c/s and yes there is research to prove it
* vb does not necessarily damage your vagina, especially during births that are not under the medical model, and using your vagina for its intended purpose is actually good for it, and its sexual function and muscle tone etc can actually be even better AFTER birth (although it is true that vaginal danage does occur in the kind of births this ob would be likely to observe, I wonder if she has ever witnessed a gentle, instinctive birth over an intact perineum, in the water in the dark?)
* Continuous monitoring is not mandatory, it is still YOUR choice to have it or not, it is not safer for the baby or for you, and you have the right to decline it and choose more personal, safer and more effective ways of monitoring yours and the baby's well-being during labour. As one midwife said, "I want my midwife observing ME, and my body's signals - not the machine."
* It is flatly not true that VBAC is "not recommended". There is no research to suggest that repeat c/s is in any way safer or preferrable that VBAC. There is a large body of knowledge, both evidence-based and experiential, to prove that VBAC is a positive and responsible choice, even after three or four c/s. I heard of one woman who had a VBAC after 7 c/s.
* She has failed to mention to you all the risks of c/s to you and your baby
* Saying you are putting the baby at risk and talking about 'a sick baby' is firstly totally erroneous and it is also emotional bullying. It is unfortunate that she perceives c/s as safer to a woman's vagina and to the baby than vaginal birth. She must be quite brain-washed by the system she works within. But she is not on solid scientific footing at all.

Jade, to spend $2000 of the Baby Bonus on YOU to achieve the birth you are capable of and the kind of care you, and all women, deserve, would be money well spent. It could buy you a rich experience you would treasure all your life. Better than a new car! Better than new furniture! We mums have no probs spending that on baby gear, prams, cots, care seats - our darling babies lack for nothing. But what about spending it on top care for us, our bodies, our births, so that we can have the best possible start to motherhood and the best, most gentle entrance for our precious unborn? I see it as a wise and worthwhile investment.

Hope all goes well with finding a better hospital and a more enlightened ob. Otherwise, there are some awesome midwives in Adelaide, I think there is even some partially-funded homebirth going on. I hope you will be a much happier Jan-with-a-plan very soon.

Have you found the c/s site 'Birth Rites'? It has heaps of valuable info, including research papers & studies on issues pertaining to c/s and VBAC. Birthrites - Healing After Caesarean

VBAC After 2 or More Cesareans

You go, girl!

[slimjadey]

Thankyou all very much! you've given me some options to look at.
Yeah i was laying in bed last night thinking about what she had said and a lot of it really is total nonsense. Like needing continuous monitoring because if they can see if baby is in distress then it may be a sign of uterine rupture or w/e.... wouldn't i be able to tell them as it would be very painful? LOL
I'm pretty sure this lady doesn't have kids of her own, she didn't come across as the 'i have kids' type, more the 'i'm a professional woman buying into all the professional man's BS' type
anywho, i'll have a chat to DH as soon as he gets home from work and see if i can get a solid answer from him as to whether he will support me in a home birth (i'm sure even if he's unsure at first i can convince him, i always seem to get my way with him, the dear). I'll also give those numbers a call and have a look at a bus timetable to get to that meeting on Friday.
Thankyou all so much again, you've given me strength to steamroll forward.

[paradise lost]

Wow, she made out you were putting the baby at risk even though she admits she'd be more worried about her vagina than her bubs! Classic doctor nonsense.

Stick to your guns hun, i'd tend to agree that home mioght be the safest thing for you at this juncture, and if you pay for a midwife at least she can come with and advocate for you in hospital if something should happen that means you need to transfer.

Good good good luck hunny!

Bx

[sirhokko]

Where do you live? I could maybe pick you up and take you to the meeting. ring me if that's an option for you

Love Lisa

[slimjadey]

I'm in Aberfoyle Park but i'm gonna have to bring the two little ones and their car seats are in my MIL's car atm. Plus DH finishes work around 10:15am that day and he works close to there so he can meet me there and help me get the kids home anyways, so i just need to get the bus there and getting home will be fine.
Thanks for the offer though

[sirhokko]

No probs. I'm at a talk at flinders from 8.15 to 9am so if you change your mind I'll be in the area.
Love Lisa Barrett.

p.s. If you can't make it I am only to happy to talk to you at home. no strings attached, just for information.

[SamanthaP]

I can vouch for Lisa - she's not a psycho :lol

Jade, you're going to struggle to get the birth you want in the system. I would really encourage you to look at all your options, not just the ones presented to you by the hospital. The hospital will not support women who take responsibility for their own births and bodies, it just goes against everything they know. They only know the doctor-patient relationship not the women-women partnership. I know I have said this to you before, but the baby bonus would be well spent on on an IM. Remember too, it's your decision, no-one elses.

[Julie Doula]

Hear, hear Samantha. Well said. From my observations and experience and that of my clients, what you've said is right on.

[deancey]

I am sorry to hear the the doc was not supportive of your request for a VBAC.
I think they should tell you the pros and cons but should not emphasis the cons and shatter your dreams for a natural birth.
I think you should def change docs if you can so you can relax and have the care you deserve.

[slimjadey]

Bah, i had really wanted to go to that meeting! We all came down sick with a gastro bug, and thats why i didn't come
Will there be another one soon?
Also, i've transfered to a different hospital for the time being, I spoke to the registrar of this other hospital and he sounded far more supportive then the other doctor so because there's not a lot of time to figure out whats happening i've xfered to this other hospital so i can get in and all. I certainly haven't made a definate decision as to what i'm doing though, i would still like to talk to people about Home birth

[krisp]

Dear Jade,

I've just had my darling baby girl by VBAC after having an emergency CS under general anasthetic in March 2006 with my DS. My Dr was very supportive but she also said that she wouldn't let me go too far over my due date (DS was 2 weeks over cooked). I was booked in for a strectch and sweep on the Thursday and went into labour the Tuesday night before.

It was exhausting, and really hard work. I pushed for 2 hours and ended up with a forceps delivery and a 2nd degree tear but I would do it all again in an instant. Seeing my Princess being born, holding her and waiting for her to find my breast and begin feeding, hearing her first cry all those things made "damaging my vagina" so worth it. BTW what a terrible thing for your Dr to say!

Hang in there, keep focusing on your VBAC, it is the best thing that I've ever done and I so hope you get to enjoy the experience too.

[sirhokko]

just ring me if you want to talk more about homebirth.


we also have a website.
Lisa Barrett