2nd baby shower is it rude?

[Mummatotwo!]

Just wanted your thoughts on baby showers for 2nd 3rd etc children......
is it rude to have another one?

[Mimi's Mum]

Hi i've been wondering the same thing. If one of my friends were to do this i wouldn't even think twice about it, i'd be so excited. However on the other hand i can't help but feel bad about having one myself - strange isn't it. I just feel so bad when people buy me stuff, then they usually buy more after the baby's born. So we've decided to go for a "meet the baby" party after this ones born, then if people want to buy something for the bubs they'll at least know the sex and they'll be able to ask what we need.

Don't know if this helps..

[Ozstar]

I don't thin it is rude at all. After all is a celebration of your new baby.
I love the idea of a "meet the baby party" after s/he is born.

[PinkPalace]

i think it is rude - but that is my personal opinion
i think it sounds like you are trying to milk free gifts for every child
I wont be having one

But in saying that i have had friends that have and i have attended happily

[Willow]

Yeah, I don't think it's cool either. Especially from people who have a boy, then a girl or vice versa - totally looks like they're after pink or blue stuff...just my opinion.

What my closest group of friends have done instead is just had a special lunch with all the girls, a last horrah if you will, to celebrate the impending arrival. We all then buy gifts when bub is born.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

its not rude. i think ppl should have a baby shower for each baby! its a good celebration

[Heaven]

I would have a celebration instead but specifically say no gifts.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

why no gifts? i dont think its rude at all even if someone brought a pair of socks that cost them $2. Its not going to put them totally out of pocket iykwim.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

why do baby showers mean gifts? personally i think they mean getting together with the ones you love and celebrate the upcoming arrival of bub. Im having a baby shower and i personally couldnt care less if people brought gifts or not. Im having on to get the family together to share the whole pregnancy experience with me..

mmmmm anyway... just another thing that is sorta stereo typed ifkwim.

[Epacris]

Baby shower etiquette threads come up on here quite a bit and you know, I've always really hated even just the idea of baby showers, of all kinds, for first children and the whole biz. I think they have the potential to be so incredibly insensitive for people who are struggling though pregnancy loss or infertility issues (and you just don't know what people are going through sometimes, it's such a private thing). Anyway, I wrote a post once about how I felt about baby showers and I think I offended most people, but there were some interesting responses and now I think that I may have been too harsh about baby showers.

Sorry, way too much rambling, but my point is I really think it entirely depends on how you do it, the tone you set. If you really want to celebrate a new life, make that the focus and I'm sure it will be lovely. A lunch out with the girls sounds nice???

[Jas]

Hi,

Before I was preg with Noah I never realised that most ppl only have baby showers for the first baby and I sometimes day dream and think it would be great to have another one and to have a pink themed day if the next one was a girl (my baby shower was completely blue themed) and as much as I appreciated all the beautiful gifts I or should I say my baby was given, I really just enjoyed having a wonderful girly time and playing games and talking about al things baby!!

So I don't know if I will have a baby shower next time if it wasn't for the etiquette of only having 1 I definitely would. I think the thoughts of gifts comes from the name baby shower kinda suggests showering the baby with gifts. So maybe you could call it a pregnancy party lol or like has been suggested say specifically no gifts.That way you still get the great time with the ladies but ppl aren't pressured into buying gifts if they don't want to and then you don't look greedy to anyone.

I think it would be great to change the etiquette to baby showers for each baby. After all maybe the mother has been a mum before but the baby is brand new and has never had a baby shower before. They are just so much fun.

I would also recommend if you do the no gifts thing not opening any gifts that are bought in front of everyone unless its only 1 or 2. Just might make anyone that didn't bring a gift uncomfortable.

[Beach Mama]

I posted about this a few weeks ago too - it really is a tough one... One of my friends asked me the other day if I was having one this time around, and if she could organise it.... I'm still a bit unsure about it. Personally I think they are a celebration of new life and yes presents are involved! I mean c'mon, I know I LOVE buying baby stuff for my friends who are having or have had babies and why shouldn't they feel the same for me?????? I wouldn't have one just for that reason though. It is a celebration and maybe you could have a "baby sprinkle" (someone suggested that in my thread - I think it is a great idea!) and maybe tone it down a bit by just saying on the invite that it is an afternoon tea or something. We are contemplating having a mixed group get together this time rather than just an all girls thing - my sister wants to plan something again as well.

As most PP have mentioned too - if you go to a 2nd , 3rd shower yourself for a friend you don't think it is rude and don't think twice about buying a small token gift if you want to. I find it is just as exciting!!
JMO! Good luck!

[Mummatotwo!]

why do baby showers mean gifts? personally i think they mean getting together with the ones you love and celebrate the upcoming arrival of bub. Im having a baby shower and i personally couldnt care less if people brought gifts or not. Im having on to get the family together to share the whole pregnancy experience with me..

mmmmm anyway... just another thing that is sorta stereo typed ifkwim.

Thats what i thought they meant, and to be honest i thought the baby shower was actually meant to celebrate the mother and the pregnancy, not so much the BABY.
My first baby shower with my son was a beautiful day, my mum threw it for me and went all out with beautiful hand made decorations etc. The turn out was poor though, alot of family and friends didnt even RSVP, i must admit i felt like I walked away a bit hard done by. Not in respect with the presents, because i had everything i needed, i didnt need anything. And i dont this time as i am having a second boy. I was thinking of just emailing my friends and telling them please not to buy anything but i know if i went to one i couldnt resist. I actually want aware that a baby shower for each baby wasnt done....
I have saved all the decorations from my first baby, and saved the cards and even the wrapping paper... yep i am a bit of a hoarder rofl.
I feel bad for this baby as (as usual) its not really getting the attention and aknowledgement that my first did. I hate the thought of having all these sentamental tokens for my first but not this one. Why is the first so much special then subsequent pregnancies? Why is one worth celebrating more then another?
I understand the present aspect of it - to a degree...

Thanks again for your responses and your suggestions!

[Mumma2three]

I didn't have one for my first but did for my second (she was 7.5 years behind). It was great. But I wouldn't even consider it for my third as I would feel greedy. That's just how I feel about it. I think the idea of a girls lunch or something to celebrate is lovely. And people may say it's not about presents, but I know the first thing I would think receiving an invite, is what do I get them. If it was their second or third I would honestly be thinking, well, Im not going to get much this time. That's just because people generally don' thave the money to spend. xo

[Lulu]

Ummm, that baby isn't going to know that it didn't have a shower.....

It depends on what you expect, what do you want from it. If you want pressies you have a shower, if you want to just see all your buddies and celebrate the impending arrival, have a lunch with your gfs.

If was about the mummy, it would be called a mummy shower.

I think its a bit rude myself, if you call it a shower, sprinkle or whatever its still inferred there are gifts to be showered iykwim?

But then again, I think engagement parties are a load of bollocks as well...

[Junglemum]

i agree with lulu. i didn't have one first time around.
But whatever floats your boat though i say.
If people think it's rude then they don't have to go.

[mummamichelle]

I have asked this same question...

My mother told me you should only have one for your first and since you usually get most things it is rude to have a second. However, IMO you don't throw yourself a shower it is something that is held for you and your baby so it really depends on your friends and family. If my friends want to hold me a shower and organise it I will say, really you don't need to do that. But if they insist it is really just another fun get together with friends that want to celebrate your new baby!

[Mummatotwo!]

wow i didnt realise there was so much negativity towards it! such a shame.
Ummmm this baby WILL know as i said i keep ALL sentamental things in a box for them so they can see them when they are older.

I dont think its about greed. Thats a really sad and materialistic way to look at it dont you think? I dont think of gifts when i think of a baby shower, i think of cutesy decorations and pink or blue cup cakes etc. Maybe i am just a bit more relaxed then the norm.

Sad that its come to the fact that when people receive an invite first thing they think of is $$ for a present etc.