Hello all,
please let me know your experiences or opinions:
I am currently 6 months pregnant, in Australia on a working visa since November last year. And to put it simple: I am a workaholic and the main bread-winner.
My boss is talking about allowing me to bring my baby to work after maternity leave. I have not yet fixed the length of my absence. Financially, 12 weeks off-work is probably the most I can do. (Non-PRs do not get baby bonus, and I have to pay for all medical expenses, because I got pregnant "too soon" after coming here in terms of the insurance company, so the financial cushion will not be very robust at birth).
Now, no matter how much I read, "taking baby to work" is _never_ discussed anywhere.
I must say, I have no babies in my circle of friends yet - at work, everyone is pregnant though. So here is how I think it would work - and I am happy if you tell me what is wrong about this scenario:
- I will put my baby in a sling, and basically work as usual while it is sleeping
- I will take more breaks, walk around with the baby, maybe work +1h each day to make up for that
- I should be able to work from home when the baby is sick (phone on divert, laptop with all data online anyway, and I have a fax-printer at home)
- I will keep high-profile meetings to a minimum, or have my husband stay at home at days like that
- I will breastfeed in my sling or in an office or meeting room
- (generally, I hope I can negotiate to be put in an office, away from the partition-only place where I am now)
- interaction would be on the level of talking to the baby while I am doing stuff (should not annoy anyone, if it is not dadalala), handing toys, and a long lunch break with real play
- while in its sling, I don't want people to even comment (I hope you understand what I mean - otherwise I will never get anything done!)
So, how does this sound? - My boss did not say how long she would allow me to bring the baby in, but I plan on breastfeeding at least the 6 month that the WHO recommends.
During that time, can a baby stay in a sling for a whole day? Does hands-free/under-the-sling breastfeeding really work? When would you stop taking a baby to work? When it is preparing to crawl? How long has anyone done this? What do I need to discuss with my boss and HR?
Well, I am happy to hear your thoughts on this -
thanks,
Fibi
Look honestly I think it all depends on your baby as well. Matilda had severe reflux, she was screaming 6-8 hours a day and only slept for short periods. Also I had to recover from a c/s.
BUT having said that, when she was 8 weeks old, I started to bring her to work for short periods. I did the pays/banking type thing with her in the sling & would stop to feed her & then keep moving.
With Jovie, I went back to work for 4 hours on Mondays when she was 1 week old. She was in a sling & I would do pays/banking/feeding... etc with her. I wasn't up to doing full days for a while. She was okay until she hit 16 weeks and then I had to put her in the pram, which didn't work so well and then I tried to set up a port-a-cot for her, which didn't work well either. So I kept for 4 hours one day a week until she was 9 months and then she went to family day care for 1 day a week.
I think you will find working a full day with a baby will be enough for a full week. They need more attention and you need time to get to know whats best for your baby.
How long were you planning on taking off? In the early weeks, as long as you are able to regain some energy it shouldn't be too hard to do that, but as time goes on it will become more complicated.
Fibi - no offence hun - but i really think you're putting too much stock in a "perfect" baby - yes, baby wearing is helpful - for SOME babies - and it migth work out for you - but what you're talking about is an ideal child that is going to allow you to do all of that - and i think you've probably overthought and created this ideal image. i think for the occassional day here and there, it might be possible to have your baby with you - but it's would be the exception, not the norm
a baby isn't going to fit nicely into your schedule, you'll be dealing with sleep deprivation, you're going to have other people around you that may find it highly annoying having a baby crying while they're working....
i don't want to sound negative, but i think you have to be realistic, and, if you're the workaholic and primary earner, maybe encourage your partner to take a period of paternity leave - and arrange from the get go that you express - if your boss is saying things like being able to have baby at work occassionally, maybe he'll make a room available for expressing...
I think it would be extremely hard to manage what you are planning on.
I have a 4 week old baby and normally work in a partitioned office area similar to what your's sounds like. There's no way known I would contemplate taking my baby into work with me in 8 weeks time. I'd get very little work done.
Briggsy's girl is right - you are planning around a perfect baby scenario. The reality is likely to be quite different.
I planned on breast feeding - I was 100% determined to do it. My baby ended up in special care due to an infection on the night he was born. He also ended up under lights for jaundice. He had attachment issues, still does even though he's been well now for 3 weeks. I am not producing enough milk to just use expressed milk. Didn't plan on any of these issues and breastfeeding got very difficult because of it all. I have to express and then bottle feed the EBM to him then top up with formula. This takes time. If I was at work it would take about 1/2 an hour for each feed (including burping & nappy change), so probably an hour and a half a day would be lost to this.
Then there's the clothes changes (for me and bubs when he projectile vomits, or just has a bit of an overflow), the nappy changes in between feeds and the time spent popping his dummy back in his mouth to calm him down (wasn't planning on using a dummy either). More time is spent on cleaning his face when he dribbles milk, cleaning gunk out of his eyes several times a day and just soothing him when he's upset. Couldn't guestimate how much time this would take up, but it would be a considerable amount of time.
Trying to get 8 hours of work done in less than 8 hours will be stressful. Stress can effect your milk supply and cause issues with feeding. Adding extra time on at the end of the day to make up for it would be exhausting. If you didn't manage to do all your work it would cause problems with coworkers.
You are likely to be quite tired too as you will be up for nightfeeds and just keeping up with the extra washing at home (I'm using disposables but am still shocked by how much extra laundry my little one has created) can be quite a task and you will be doing this after you get home from work.
Then there's the noise factor. It would not work if you are working in a partitioned office. You would disturb others. Even if you could get your own office others would still hear the crying when it happens. If your job involves being on the phone your bubs crying would cause havoc to your day - they often cry when you pick up a phone.
You mentioned there were a number of pregnant women in the office. If they allow you to work like this they will then have to allow others to do the same. This could cause a lot of disruption in the office in general and I think there are very few employers who would be willing to allow it. There could also be health and safety issues.
My workplace has a work from home policy but in reality it just doesn't happen unless you are in senior management and even then it's for short periods of time - not a regular arrangement. Chances are your boss hasn't discussed the implications with HR and it wont turn out to be an option at all.
Thanks for the messages above!
You are probably right that I am imagining a very easy-to-handle baby. So, I will start discussing the alternative to work from home, and how/where to express milk at the office.
And yes, my husband is fine to stay at home.. but any shared scenario is a lot better, for both of us.
I'll be re-reading your comments above over the next few weeks...
Finally, I am getting somewhere - Thanks again!
Speaking as a mother who considered having DS in with me (with the blessing of my office mate!):
You'll need a good day-sleeper. Which generally means a bad night-sleeper so you'll be knackered.
You'll need space and an easy-to-carry playmat, a baby won't be worn all day. Most playmats have noisy toys, so be prepared for a day of "hickory d1ckory dock". Babies like to play with your things so get ready for an attack on your computer!
Smelly nappies - can you change in the loo or is there no room? Smelly nappy in an office... ewww!
I'd say you could maybe do a couple of mornings or afternoons with a baby, not more than 10 hours a week in an office, assuming no colic, you're feeling OK, no reflux, no anxieties... even a "good" baby can't do a 40-hour week with no stimulation! Don't forget the hour-long feeds at first, you can get loads of typing done but not so much running to meetings. And if the baby sleeps and the phone rings, do you comfort the baby or answer the phone? I'd look at working from home, sharing care with your DH (maybe you could meet for lunch and he take the baby home, you work the afternoon without the baby) and even doing unsociable hours so you're not as disturbed or have people complaining that the baby is a distraction.
I wouldn't have DS with me. He needs me too much. Yes, I can get him playing cars and his "brrrm-brrrm"ing isn't too distracting, but he'll not do that all day. I need my computer for me - people don't like letters with baby-typing in! He's not only "good" but bloody fantastic, even so he couldn't do more than 2 hours without me tearing my hair out at the office - but that's now. At 4 months I could have maybe managed a morning or two.
Taking my baby to the office?
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