I went on leave 2 weeks before my dd was due. Right from the word go my boss (though she claims she was happy for us) was obviously annoyed that i fell pregnant. Things started to change from them, i was no longer asked to go away for weekend work, i wasn't asked to do presentations etc etc but it was done in a way that i could never say it was discrimination. She would always say in front of other people that hse wasn't letting me do these things because she felt i needed to take it easy, even though i knew that i was very capable of doing the job and doing it properly.
Since going on leave i have not heard a single thing from my work at all, except the gossip grapevines that have been going around about me. My boss was also a very close friend our ours. She was invited to our dd naming day as she played a huge role in both mine and df lives... and she forgot!!!! Its not the fact that she forgot the peeves me its the fact that 2 months later she still hasn't acknowledged that she wasn't there.
All my co workers from all over aus have come together in sydney for the last 3 days and had thier xmas party.... no invite for me to the xmas party or to have lunch/m.tea or anything with them. All the girls thought they would be seeing dd and I but no...no invite. And then...the xmas n/letter came out (sent to all doners etc) no mention that I had even had a baby despite me sending them a pic they asked for to publish.
It makes me so angry to think about it and how i have been treated. I'm meant to go back in feb but am trying to find anything to do so that i don't have to go back.
I don't think your over-reacting at all and to be honest with the way they have treated you i too would be on the look out for something else, you don't deserve to work with people like this..
I cannot believe that your so called good friend forgot about your little princess naming day and still hasn't even acknowleged the fact...im sorry but she isn't a friend, friends don't do that to one another!!!
No I don't think your overreacting, I have recieved monthly updates as to what is happening at work as well as invites to various social nights including the christmas party.
Thanks girls
Makes me feel so much better.
Was having a crappy day when i wrote this worrying about how we were/are going to cope finanically cause i'm finding it hard to find something else.
xx
Wow what a *****!!!
I don't think you are overreacting at all. I think it's quite unprofessional of her.
Is there management above her that you can speak with?
Financially speaking... will DD be going into daycare or family taking care of her? For us, if I were to go back to work by the time I pay for daycare and then lose FTB it's hardly worth it. For the few measly dollars extra I would rather the time with my DS and live scarcely for a while, IYKWIM. That said I don't know your job situation, I'm a just thinking out loud
Neither of us have family nearby so my only choice is to use daycare. I'm only looking at going back 2 -3 days a wk...i only get a really measley amount of FTB so i'd probably still get paid more going to wk.
I've started to do some party plan stuff at night which means df can look after dd and i'd only do this on the nights where shes not at day care. It will also make for good daddy and daughter time when i'm out so really either shes in care and i'm home at night or shes with me all day and then at night i go out to do parties.
i'd love to stay at home forever with her but financially at the moment thats not an option
In terms of management above her there is our CEO above her and then the board (I wk for a charity) and as far as i'm concerned his just gutless and won't do anything. The last time i went to him with an issue regarding her, he went straight to her and basically told her everything that i had said...then i got a wrap over the knuckles for going to him for advice on how to deal with/approach her.
When i think about all the things that have happened i can't believe i've stayed as long as i have!!! Need to find another job...soon..
I think there's two separate issues here - one is being kept in the loop re work stuff and the other is feeling let down about your boss's behaviour regarding DD's naming day.
To be honest, work didn't keep me in the loop either about what was going on and I took it with a pinch of salt. I wouldn't have expected an invite to the Xmas party or any social event. Would have been a nice touch but not too fussed to be honest.
But I think it's all getting a bit blurred because your boss was/is a friend and it certainly sounds like she has 'issues' with your pregnancy/being a mum from the not giving you appropriate work to the not turning up for the naming day. Is it possible that she would like a baby herself and is having problems TTC? I'm not saying that excuses her behaviour but she certainly sounds like she's having problems coming to terms with you having a baby.
I think I would stop treating her as a friend and get back to a professional relationship. If you're worried about what the work situation will be if/when you return, call and ask for it to be clarified eg. were you working full-time and want to go back part-time?
In the meantime, I'd continue looking for other work.
Having said all that, I found that when I returned to work I was far less bothered about politics - I just go in, do my job and don't get embroiled too much. So as much as these things seem annoying now, you might find the same if you return to the same organisation.
There are only 8 employees in my area and we are all really close and wouldn't survive in the job without each other so yes... i was offended that I a)wasn't ever kept in the loop and b) not invited to xmas party. I have worked at the organisation for 5 years now so I would have expected to be treated a little better than i have been.
On a personal level, if it wasn't for her, her husband and them putting the program together I wouldn't be here today and most certainly wouldn't have my beautiful dd. They have played a huge role in getting me where i am today and had developed what i thought was a very stong friendship... obviously its not the case... from her POV anyway.
So i was hurt and offended on both a personal and professional level in this situation and everytime i think about it it makes me angry to think about how the siutation has panned out.
So I resigned today from this job giving the reasons that I needed a job that was more financially stable that this one is and that since going on mat. leave I don't feel part of the team.
When I brought up with my boss that she still hasn't acknowledged that she wasn't at DD's naming day she proceeded to tell me she really didn't consider me a friend anymore and that I had betrayed her and she didn't trust me. So much for the 8 and a hlaf yrs of friendship we had previously. Obviously that meant NOTHING.
I'm so hurt and upset and angry with how it ended. But on the brighter side, if it wasn't for that work place i wouldn't have DF or DD.
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Am I over reacting??
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