Am I being overprotective re babysitting?

[LuluHB]

I'm always accused by my ILs of being overprotective of the girls so I thought I would ask you ladies and get a bit of a reality check.

We have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks that has both the service and the reception in the couple's backyard. There will be other kids there from about 6 months of age up to about 10 years old that will all be babysat by a 13 year old girl in the lounge room of the house. I'm not at all happy about adding my two to the crowd and have given a polite thanks but no thanks when offered the "babysitter's" services. I've had a few comments since that I'm being ridiculous but I'm just not comfortable with a child looking after so many children. My girls are still so small and DD2 is incredibly clingy at the best of times.

So, I would be grateful for your thoughts on this.

[Danni]

I don't see why that would be called being over protective.

Is the babysitter there because kids are not allowed outside?

[Nadine]

I don't think your being overprotective at all. There is no way I would be letting a 13yr old mind that many children at once. I know you will be around, but still, it only takes a second for something to go wrong. If she was only looking after your kids then "maybe" I would consider it.

So I totally agree with you turning down the offer.

[LuluHB]

D - no. The kids are welcome outside. Its more a "dumping ground" so parents can be outside enjoying themselves without having to worry about their kids.

[Mother Goose]

Nope - I wouldn't be letting a 13 year old look after that many kids at once... and certainly not my 8 month old! Older children are able to come and tell you if something is wrong but an 8 month old isn't. And I certainly wouldn't be letting a 13 year old I didn't know well do it! Geez, I'm funny about letting ADULTS baby sit my DD and she is nearly 2!

[Ozziehoffy]

I wouldn't be allowing it either. I think that it's unfair of your IL's to even say that you are being over protective!! As far as I'm concerned that is part of a parent's job... to protect your child!

[Danni]

Well in that case, why would you "dump" them?

If the kids are invited, and are welcome, then why not enjoy the wedding WITH the kids.

[AliBaby]

You are not being overprotective at all.

Let me tell you that only 2 years ago (so I was 23 and I am a qualified primary school teacher) I babysat for someone doing a similar thing to your friends. They were having a Christmas party and wanted someone to entertain and mind all the kids in the front yard (secured area) and the children ranged from about 10months to 12yrs old. There were about 12 kids and even after I roped in the help of the two 12 yr olds, I still struggled and told her that I wouldnt be able to do that again.

I was also annoyed because I only got paid the same amount I would to look after one child and I was looking after 12!

I didnt feel that the kids were safe enough and the responsibility of looking after such a range of ages was too much.

[krisp]

You are absolutely not being overprotective. The idea of a 13 y.o looking after 1 child let alone several is rediculous. I would not allow my 2 to be supervised by a 13 y.o who is actually still a child herself. What are these people thinking?

[BeautifulMadness]

i wouldant let a 13yr old CHILD babysit my CHILD/REN. ur not being over protective

[Nelle]

I don't think it matters who else would do what according to their own standards Lulu, if you're not comfortable with it, then I'm glad you declined. I think it's a bit rich of people to call you overprotective - how can you look after your young children too much? Some people say they're protecting when they're smothering, but this is not smothering. In a way, you're also looking after that 13 year old, who perhaps is in for quite a stressful time if she ends up with a lot of kids.

I hope you enjoy the wedding!

[Laranna]

Nope, I don't think you're being overprotective, you're being sensible! I would not let a 13 year old child babysit my 8 month old. I'm still cautious of letting adults babysit him! I'm glad you declined Lulu. Don't listen to the in-laws, only you know what's best for your children. Enjoy the wedding!

[LuluHB]

Thanks ladies. Nice to have some reinforcement in my views.

Nelle - don't worry. Even if I had had a kazillion responses telling me I was being an overprotective idiot I still wouldn't have left my girls in that situation! When you get so much opposition its nice sometimes to just check what other mothers think. I don't care really what I'm called anymore and I will always do what I believe is right for my kids, no matter who else thinks what, but I think we all like to know we're not the only ones who believe in something.

[AliBaby]

In a way, you're also looking after that 13 year old, who perhaps is in for quite a stressful time if she ends up with a lot of kids.

I agree.

That is exactly how I felt and I was 10yrs older than the 13yr old who will be looking after the kids. I even had a parent stay with me to help as she could see how stressed I was.

[kelebek]

lulu I definitely don't think you are being overprotective and not only would I not allow my little child to be looked after by a 13 yr old but I wouldn't allow my 13yr old child look after that many littlies...