Need help with debt.

[~clover~]

I'm having some problems. I left DH & inherited a not so pretty debt.

We had both mobiles in my name & the electricity has always been in my name.
Over the last few months he has been constantly ringing & texting me. I now owe telstra around $3000 for the last 3 months. I looked at our last bill & his share was $992. Mine was $360 (way higher than normal coz I was always having to ring or text him back coz of his stupid insecurities). The one before his was just as much higher than mine.
He now has his own pre paid, but I still have to pay off that bill & plan for another 12 - 15 months.

Then the electricity bill from when we were together is sitting at around $1900. Its slowly built up after we got behind 4 years ago. I was always having a winge about it, but he'd always say 'its only money'.

ONLY MONEY!! Only money we can't afford! Only money I can't afford & he won't give me. He only has to pay $50 a week child support & I haven't seen a red cent of that either!

So anyway. While I was on the phone to CSA yesterday the lady I spoke to said I should be able to get some help from a charity organisation. I have seeked help from them in the past & they paid $300 off my electricity bill 3 years ago.

I'm currently paying $50 a week off my mobile bill & $90 a f/n off my electricity. I can't afford anymore than that. I really don't think I'll get much help from a charity place. Maybe with my power, but not the phone bill.

Does anyone know what else I can do? Or what sort of help they can give me?

[Madissun]

Oh hun

Why wont he help you? I dont have any suggestions, im sure someone else might.

It's not fair. But you are doing the right thing with your payment plans and working towards paying them off. However, it shouldn't be solely YOUR debt to pay. I hope someone else may have an idea on how to get him to help. Sorry im not much help hun, but i know debts not fun

[~clover~]

He's trying to control me I think. A desperate attempt to get me to realise I can't afford to live without him.
I couldn't afford it with him, so its not working to his favour!

[~Trish~]

How stressful . Can you ring Centrelink (or whoever organises child support) and get them to enforce him to make payments? My dad never paid a cent to my mum for us three kids and we really struggled. They shouldn't be able to get away with it!

You are doing the right thing by making regular payments, good on you. I don't know what sort of help the charities can give you, but it's definitely worth finding out. Can you change your mobile phone plan to a more affordable one? Or switch to a pre-paid phone? Do you have anything you could sell on eBay to give you a bit of extra cash?

Your DH really should be helping you pay those debts off, but it sounds like money isn't his "thing" which is so frustrating when you are the one left with the bill and three little ones to feed and clothe.

I hope you find some help soon.

[~clover~]

I rang CSA yesterday & they are going to get CS through his employer, but that takes 6 weeks.
He owes me $800 just in CS now. By then it will be $1100.

I can't change the phone plans coz they are minimum 24 month. I've had mine for 12 months, but his is only 8 or 9 months old. The $45 a month I'm paying is just for the phone alone, so I can't reduce it as far as I know.

[maz]

I have a Gf who went through something simular

Honey you are doing a wonderful job so firstly dont doubt yourself!

There are places around...like Salvation Army, St Vincents and other reach out places that can help you with funding. Take aleaf out of my book..dont be to ashamed to ask them for help. Its better then the stress of worrying about paying for the bills and your seperation as well.

My GF also got her electricity bill paids for her..hers was $3000. Its a one of thing. I'll try and get incontact with her adn find out how she did it and let you know.

in the mean time get on the blower babe and start asking for some help

[~clover~]

Thanks Maz. That'd be great.
Lol, my dad calls it the 'blower' too!

[maz]

must be an old people thing

[~clover~]

Well my dad's pretty classic & unique!
I reckon its more about that than age!

[Sammiejane]

skye, fingers crossed you can get some money for the bills, i cant add anything additional that the others havent said... however, for future bills you can call the water, gas and elec people and do bill smoothing, the debit your account an average monthly amount and then when the bill comes in you either get a credit or have a small amount to pay.
Also i am pretty sure that some of your FTB can be automatically applied to bills to help out too.

HTH and im so sorry that you have his debt to take care of. i hope CS catch up with him soon..

[Kitt3n]

oh hun

i went through something similar when i left my ex... both obiles were in my name, i didnt want to be slack and leave him stranded so left his phone connected

BIG mistake, a hole (creative spelling justified here) racked up $2,300 worth of calls by the time i got my next bill

there was nothing i could do, it was in my name, i was liable, couldnt even take him to court. lesson learned there!

but as for the electricity, try lifeline, the salvos, just see if they can help, at all.... not sure, but you could even see if department of housing could help out, i think they might, if you are on a waiting list?

it does get easier hun, it does take time though, and once it is sorted out youwill feel the calm. fresh air again

[onthefly]

What an awful stress for you!
Is it possible to get the account on his phone transferred into his name?
How much would it cost to cancel your account? Would the payout now be much less than if you continued paying out till the end of the contract (assuming you even have the cash at hand to do that of course)?
Anything you could sell for extra cash - or, more to the point, anything of your ex's that could be sold...?

[~clover~]

I do have a few things to put on ebay. Not enough to make any money really though.
Don't have any spare cash atm. Only left with about $200 after bills every week to do shopping & live.
Already have centrepay set up for power & my house phone. Mobiles are direct debited too.
I think its like $1200 to disconnect & pay the service out. Maybe. Not sure if they total up the whole contrat period or whats left.
If I transferred it to his name the debt would stay as mine & he would be started fresh.

[onthefly]

If I transferred it to his name the debt would stay as mine & he would be started fresh.

But he would then be liable for the remaining payments, right? Just thinking of minimising future outflows.

[dantri]

I'm so sorry you're in this situation and hope that CSA can help you out.

In the meantime speak to Telstra, you might be able to reduce the level of plan you're on (i.e. if you're on a $40/month minimum spend plan you might be able to bring it down to $20). I've done this before for private phones and for business mobiles, sometimes they've charged me $50 for it (but that would still be cheaper than paying the extra $ each month for the next 24months) others they haven't charged at all. They might waive the change fee for you. If you have a direct debit set up then that should help assure them that you ARE going to pay you're just in a bind at the moment.

Sorry I can't help with the other stuff, just thought I'd let you know their might be an option there for you to reduce the future Telstra bills.

Hugs, and hope things start to fall in place for you.

[Kitt3n]

oooohh i forgot - google financial counsellors in your area. Not financial advisers, but financial counsellors - they are usually run by charity groups and these guys can help you to sort out a middle line with your debtors, they dont charge you anything.

Often debtors will see that they will potentially get nothing out of someone, so they would rather come to an agreement as to half way (so to speak).........

GL babe

[AngelPunks]

gl with it all babe
my x left me with a $270K debt & got ****ty when I disconnected the phone & net in the house we used to live in (all in my name) - I was nice and left the gas & elec on for him and that ended up costing me over $1k when I made him get it in his name.

[~clover~]

Thanks guys.
Ain't men just great!
Financial councellers, will look at that after I get Jaz off to school.