Adoption - Just want to find out more..

[The_Source]

Hi there! I posted this to the 'intro' thread but got no response so I thought I'd post here.

We have three boys of our own. I was diagnosed with secondary fertility issues after our second (and then managed to fall pregnant two months later ) but with no natural luck since. Personally, I don't want to go down the whole full picture cycle monitoring thing again and the whole OI thing just takes the joy out of the more intimate aspects of our marriage, which is no good for TTC, or my overall mood and attitude towards life.

So, I am just wanting to find out more about international adoption as the topic has come up between DH & I and we concluded that the only thing we really knew was that, in DH's words, 'It is great for celebrities because they can have children without going through the joy and tears of pregnancy and labor'.

So, we have not clue, and just curious at this stage to find out more before making a serious decision. We love our boys to bits and would love to be able to add to our family. We home school our eldest so the whole 'go back to work to afford AC' thing is not an option either.

So, in light of all this, can anyone point me in the right direction to find out more about what's involved in terms of differences with countries (have no idea there), paperwork, the process and so forth? And do do you go about it all? Also, I am just wondering how emotionally taxing the process is?

Please no suggestions of Foster Care - the answer is no.

Thanks in advance to those who pull out their virtual pointer finger!

[HotI]

Hi Kris

The first place to go for info would be SA Dept for families & communities. They have info on adoption (both local and international)

Adoption, DFC South Australia

International adoption can be quite costly as well, so check that part out if cost is an issue.

cheers,

kate

[M7Missy]

Try the attonery general's web page as they now list all the countries there.

It will cost you at least 15grand paid over a period of the entire adoption, many will be more some closer to $25,000 and others over $35,000

My B/F is adopting from China - she is about 3 years into about an 8 year wait.
(We don't talk about it a lot - she likes to talk about other stuff)

She says even the 'good' adoption states like SA and NSW it will take most likely about 3 years due to the fact that Australia only has limited programs and there is such a high number of people being processed.

[The_Source]

Sorry I have not had the chance to say thanks for the information until now. So, thank you!

@Kate07 - thanks for the link.

@M7Missy - I think I would be somewhat like your friend. I am not sure how I would deal with the whole process.

In SA there are limited 'info sessions' in a year so I guess we will be waiting for one to come up that is not on when my husband is away.

Thanks again,

[Mildez]

I don't know much but my sister was looking into it last year. She is not married and alot of the countries won't take applications if you were not married. Certain countries would except different things. One of the Countries that my sister was looking at your youngest child (adopted or biological) had to be over the age of 3 or 5 (can't remember) and alot would not except applications if you had more then 1 or 2 biological or adoptive children. Some you had to be married over 5years and then there was the housing and financial side of things. All this was after you had being approved by DOCS (department of community services) before you could go into the next stage. Its a long and difficult process from what I have seem/heard and takes along time. Definately worth it though in the end. Good Luck definately something to look into further. I would love to adopt but my husband doesn't want to but I am interested about the process of adoption.

[satya]

There's also age restrictions in some countries - so neither parent can be so many years older than the child they are adopting.

[rubibaby]

i have to say i had no idea it would take that long...dh and i spoke very briefly about adoption the other day. as i would like a third child, but dh believes there are enough people in the world and that adoption is an option...mmm...i guess i would need to make a decision very soon...sorry for jumping on board your link...all the best with whatever you decide...

[mitzy81]

It is such a sad situation. My boss has an adopted Chinese girl, and they told me that when they went to pick her up, the orphanage was overflowing with babies, mainly girls. He said it brought him to tears. I can understand why people get upset with 'celebraties' who decide to adopt and get a child quickly (yeah sure it is great that they are helping) but wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy for the average joe bloggs. The stories he tells me are amazing (a 2yo with a stash of food under her bed!) but that is what these poor babies and kids had to do in the orphanages to survive. If it were only cheaper and not such a long wait to adopt, many babies would be in such loving homes and many infertile couples would have the joy of loving and caring for a baby/child that has unfortunately been given up for adoption.

[mrsmac]

My cousin has adopted from Taiwan she got her son 3 years ago and has just got her daughter so it must be quicker from there than 8 years. I know she found that older children get placed quicker than babies so if you are prepared for a toddler itwill be faster. Her DS was nearly 2 when she got him but her DD is only 10 months.

[HotI]

There is an interesting article on one couple's experience of applying for inter-racial adoption. i found the end quite powerful. The link is to part 1. I am still looking for part 2 because i want to know what happened!

Salon | Interracial adoption: One couple's story

[mrsmac]

That was so interesting Kate, now I am desperate to find out what happened too.

[smiles4u]

I looked into adoption about a year ago (mind you just over the Net) ... and DP & i are excluded for so many reasons from all the countries i could read about their adoption policies ... for example either we aren't married, or have not lived long enough together in a defacto relationship, or more importantly i am regarded as too old as the cut off line for the Mother's age is 42 at the most , so there goes that as i'm 43 (i didn't realise i was already one foot in the grave)

We would so dearly love another child & a sibling for our almost 3year old DD

[HotI]

That was so interesting Kate, now I am desperate to find out what happened too.

I went searching and found a link to Part 2- but it didn't work! If i do find it, i will PM you the link.

That site has so many great articles. I found this one from the social worker or advocate's point of view on finding the right family for a child.

Salon.com Life | Picking parents for Joshua

(OK, I won't post any more)

cheers,

kate

[widdly]

kate i loved the Joshua story, what wonderful people!

[mrsmac]

What a lovely story about joshua but what a shame she discounted infertile couples.

[M7Missy]

My cousin has adopted from Taiwan she got her son 3 years ago and has just got her daughter so it must be quicker from there than 8 years. I know she found that older children get placed quicker than babies so if you are prepared for a toddler it will be faster. Her DS was nearly 2 when she got him but her DD is only 10 months.

I asked my g/f about this today and she said it depending on the country that people are adopting through and she said it can also depend on the state you start in - she explained that one part of the process they went through in victoria that took them about 3 months now takes people starting about 2 years.
She has explained to me in the past because she was limited with country choice (requirements) they had little choice. She also said that even if she was to withdraw her application and chose another country - her paperwork would have to come back here and then she would have to wait for a place in the quota system. She said that it could be up to 2 years before her paperwork was then sent to another country and then she would also have to wait for the countries individual allocation system which would likely be another 2 years (with maybe the exception of the Phillipiness - but her DH is Jewish so that counts out that country).

She said that the process has changed a lot for those starting out now and the length of waits those at the start facing.

[rubibaby]

great article kate