She is anti Daddy

[hj1981]

My little girl is very anti daddy at the moment! and its driving me insane! i cant hand her over to him without her screaming for the whole time she is with him!
is this normal?
and what can we do to fix it?

[sneakysparkle]

I think its normal hun - but it wont always be like that...
I think its a normal part of the bonding process. I know it can be annoying, but she loves you!!!

[hj1981]

i know she loves me and i was so touched and secretly thrilled when she did it the first few times, but now........... i just need a break!!!
and its breaking DH's heart also!

[skybie]

my DD is like that a few days a week but only for an hour or so, when DF comes home from work she cries and tries to push him back out the door!!!! but then an hour later she calms down and gives him kisses and cuddles. i think its because when DF gets home DD doesnt have my full attention coz im busy talking to DF.
DF gets pretty heartbroken about it all, but he knows once she calms down she loves him again

[sneakysparkle]

hang in there hun (& DH!)
try and give her to him when she is super happy and relaxed, that might help.

[Snacks]

Oooh, yes, I remember!
Does she see very much of him? (i.e. does he work long hours?) My DD has always been happier with DH when she spends lots of time with him. There are still things that she only wants me for (e.g. putting her to bed) but if she has spent time with him then she is much more affectionate with him.
In the early days, because it was a matter of necessity that I spend the most time with her (bfeeding every 2-3 hours, and sleeping a fair bit) I found that she wasn't content with DH unless she'd just had a feed and was happy and sleepy. Otherwise, she'd chuck a fit.
Once she was older and they could do more things together because I wasn't feeding her all the time, she was heaps more comfy with him.
I hope there is something helpful in there! Just wanted to say I know how it feels, and she will get more used to your DH as they have more opportunities to spend time together, KWIM?

and its breaking DH's heart also!

Awww, yeah, it is so hard for them. DH still gets upset when DD decides she'd rather like me to do something for her than him. Dunno what to suggest here.

[hj1981]

Skybie - i must admit pushing Daddy back out the door is kinda cute!!!

Thanks Sneaky - we are trying to hang in there - surely almost 2wks is long enough she is going to have to start loving daddy again soon!
it slowly built up with DD not letting dad bath her, now he cant even so much as look at her, let alone pick her up, cuddle her or feed her!!!
and too make matters worse she is teething i think - so she is even more needy, but its poor me that has to deal with it! so there isnt much time where she is super happy and relaxed these days! hahahaha

She is not even 4mths old yet - isnt that a bit young to be playing favourites?

[krysalyss]

I can only suggest not to push it. It is hard for her to bond if she feels like you have gone.
Get him to do lots of bonding with her on your lap so she can see both of you. Show him what things she really likes like tickles or her favourite toy. Get her to sleep on him even if it once she is actually asleep as she will breath in his scent while she sleeps. Co=sleeping etc. is great for bonding but even if they do it for an hour while he watches tv before bed (if she is a cot sleeper).
HTH

[hj1981]

Snacks - DH works monday - thursday one week and than tuesday - friday next week, and he is gone before she gets up, and he gets home around 1700 and she is in bed at 2000 these days so no there isnt much time for them to be together, so that could be playing a big part of it - but on his days off it use to be his day to most things with her so they still had some sort of time together, but those days have now well and truely gone!
Should he maybe just put up with her screaming, and hold her until hopefully she stops???

[Je$$_84]

My DD is almost 9 months and still only spends 5 mins at a time with her daddy.

Dont get me wrong i know she loves her daddy but 5 mins is all she gives him. (not that he tries hard, he just says "she hates me)

[hj1981]

Jess - i thought DD's were suppose to be Daddy's girls - maybe we have a new breed of daughters that are mummy's girls - hehehe

Krysalyss - we had a slight break thru last night - DD had a shower with dad and was happy doing that again - so we might keep that up and see how it goes.
Also the bonding idea is a good idea while she sits on my lap - we will also give that ago -however she wont even sleep in my arms until her last feed before bed, and thats "routine" so to say so i dont want to change that one just yet! Thanks for ur help

[Je$$_84]

Hj- It annoys me cos DD has" daddy eyes" sh egets excited seeing him but thats bout as far as it goes. he takes her and she lasts 5 mins and is kicking and squirming to try to get back to me. I know its probably seperation anxiety but come on. My Ds is a mummies boy and now my DD is a mummies girl too... I think DP is feeling feeling deflated and a bit left out.

I used to love it and now its a burden. i cant even hand her over to go to the loo. Now she crawls that fast to try to catch me i have to put her in the cot so i know she cant get to anything on her way.

GL. Hope for your sake and mine that our girls decide they wanna go to their daddies

[Snacks]

Snacks - DH works monday - thursday one week and than tuesday - friday next week, and he is gone before she gets up, and he gets home around 1700 and she is in bed at 2000 these days so no there isnt much time for them to be together, so that could be playing a big part of it - but on his days off it use to be his day to most things with her so they still had some sort of time together, but those days have now well and truely gone!
Should he maybe just put up with her screaming, and hold her until hopefully she stops???

It sounds like he's around for her a fair bit then, which is great even though it doesn't feel that way right now!
In answer to your question, of course it is up to you, but I probably wouldn't get him to keep holding her while she's really upset while you are still there. I don't think she will understand and there may will be some negative associations formed in regard to being with him meaning she can't get to you, KWIM? The exception to this, I reckon, is if you need a lie down or a walk or some space to yourself, in which case I'd say if you go elsewhere for a short while they will be just fine without you. If your DD can't see you, she will probably get upset when you leave but then be fine with him while you are gone - he can distract her with other stuff. The more often they do it, the more comfy she'll get.
I think it's a case of trying different stuff. And also getting your DH to acknowledge that little babies are so dependent on their mums, it is REALLY nothing personal against him. I hope it gets better for you guys soon!