ARGH I don't know what to do... how to let someone down...

**christy** · February 26th, 2009, 04:40 PM

Before you start... I'm a vet nurse

So to make a loooong story short, things are not fantastic where I have been working. I love the ideal of the work, I love what they do at the specialist centre.... BBBUUUUTTTT its been very political and stressful and hard with family life. And I terribly miss dog behaviour work... puppy preschools etc.

I chose to seek other work closer to home at a smaller general practice. I walked around and put my CV into 3 practices. I gave a header saying I knew they didn't have a puppy preschool running and that I was interested in running them for the practice.

The day I dropped off my CV (Monday week ago) I got a phone call from one clinic who asked me to come in to talk. Then they gave me another interview with the owner of the practice (who doesn't work there...) and he said it wasn't up to him, but would I want a nursing job there whatever I wanted (wouldn't discuss $$) and then gave me a day for a "trial" which was today. Meanwhile a nurse phoned to say she put me on the roster for 35 hours a week

not what I wanted. The nurses there are exhausted as there was a previous owner who ran the practice into the ground. Its super quiet and there isn't much to do at all.

Next thing: Yesterday (the day before my "trial") another clinic rang me to offer me work. They had phoned my previous employers and wanted me to come in to discuss working for them. I said yes.

So today I did a trial at the first practice. The nurses are exhausted and run down. No one would give me clear answers as to $$, or puppy preschool. They wanted me to take over and work as much as possible... I left there and went to the job interview at the other clinic. They were just as small, but already more busy than the other practice. I knew the vets as before I was a nurse it was the practice I brought my animals too, my MIL has brought her animals there & I've discussed her cat with them when she was dying. Anyway, it was all very civilised and relaxed. They said they could offer me the 2 days I wanted, asked me how many hours, offered Saturdays if I wanted them and if I wanted to do puppy preschools I could, what percentage did I want? and what did I want to get paid. I told them & they agreed to what I wanted. They are a well established practice with the same vets there for the past 15 years.

So now I want that job, the second one... but I don't want to kick the other clinic while they are down. I'm stressed and miserable over this

Man it sucks!!!! Its good to be able to get a job this easily, and its good to be wanted... but man. I don't know what to do.

**mrsmac** · February 26th, 2009, 04:43 PM

Hun would they care about you at the first place? NO, they won't be putting themselves out for you so I wouldn't be too worried, you owe them nothing yet, just politely say you have accepted another job. You need to look after YOU (something we women don't do enough of)
Good luck with whatever you decide .

**Phteven** · February 26th, 2009, 04:48 PM

I agree with MrsMac, you don't owe them anything and it's not your responsibility to take care of them. You need to look out for you and your family which means taking the job which is best suited to your needs.
The first place is already giving you the runaround, I can only see it getting worse there.

**feeb** · February 26th, 2009, 04:53 PM

I agree they have not helped you out, you dont owe them anything. You and your family are number 1 and other job sounds so helpful, flexible and a happier place to work! and you get puppy kinder!

**briggsy's girl** · February 26th, 2009, 04:58 PM

you went for a trial day hun - any trial is a TWO WAY STREET - all you have to say is thanks, but no thanks - this just doesn't fit, and walk away. don't feel bad - embrace the other opportunity you've been offered and look at the first one as a learning opportunity for them as well as you.

**2girlz** · February 26th, 2009, 05:03 PM

A trial is exactly that a trial and since they were the ones that said it was a trial they should be prepared for a possible job rejection and not bank on you accepting the job. I say go with what you want The second one sounds great!

**Jahzara** · February 26th, 2009, 05:20 PM

Look after number one !

Sounds like the job you want is the job for you !

**Bronzdbebe** · February 26th, 2009, 05:46 PM

First off CONGRATULATIONS, 2 job offers not bad work hun!!!

Maybe you could say to the first clinic that the 2nd clinic offered to you first and that you are feeling compelled to take that position for that reason alone.??? Usually when you say "I have decided not to take the position..." they stop listening anyway to the excuse you give them.

Ultimately you need to do what is best for you and your family, from the outside looking in there is no comparison however I know it is a different story when it's actually you in the predicament (sp) The 2nd clinic sounds much more like somewhere you would want to take a member of your family (pets) too for medical care.

Good Luck !!!

**Willow** · February 26th, 2009, 06:08 PM

Aw Christy, you've got a good heart but the girls are right, you don't owe them anything. It sounds to me like you'd be very unhappy there so do what's best for you.

And congratulations!

**mrscricket** · February 26th, 2009, 06:51 PM

I would definiately go for the second. Would you rather be posting a thread in here in 3 months time saying "I love my job!" or "I hate my job. It is such a negative place to work"? You don't owe the first place anything - if you feel really bad, decline it and send them a letter saying "Thanks for your time. Very much appreciated but just not the direction I want to take".

**luna moth** · February 26th, 2009, 08:41 PM

Tell them that something more flexible and suitable has come up, a place that is more willing to pay attention to what you need.
Be as honest as you can, make sure they know that this is constructive feedback, and make it a better place to work for the person who does take the job.
Then take the other job.

Good luck!

**krysalyss** · February 26th, 2009, 08:52 PM

Hi Christy. The nicest thing you can do for them is to be clear and honest and say that you are looking for only a couple of days and want to be involved in the behavioural side. Honestly they are over worked because the place obviously isn't managed properly. If they aren't taking enough care over the staff they have and are evading the things you need to talk about then run, don't walk, to the second clinic.

**Karina** · February 26th, 2009, 09:44 PM

Congratulations on getting 2 job offers - that is great!

I know it totally sucks and its hard to do, but I think you have to be upfront with the first place. You already said that the first places nurses were exhasusted and run down, and that they want you to do 35 hours which is not something you want. I think you have pretty much made a decision about that one. I think just tell them you've been offered a position at another place and it just suits you better with the hours and the other opportunities (puppy preschool) that they have offered you there. But definately thank them for the opportunity to do a trial there. In the end you really need to do what is going to work out best for you and your family, and that sounds like the second job.

**christy** · February 27th, 2009, 05:04 PM

Well... I did it. I accepted the second job. Then I phoned the other boss this arvo and said that I wasn't the person for the job.

I explained that the job needed someone with energy who wanted to dig their nails in and get busy. I wasn't the person for that job. I said that the nurses were exhausted and the staff didn't know what was happening next, that wasn't where I am right now and what I need. He was disappointed, and I feel like crap atm... but its the right thing for us as a family and for what we want to do.