MCHN says 8 week old must be in a routine...*long*

**LaDeeDa** · April 24th, 2009, 04:09 PM

I just wanted to get your take on this peoples as I am not feeling very comfortable with it ....

A bit of background.

Blue is 8 weeks today - the first 5 weeks were HELL!!! Unexplained screaming for hours at a time, colic etc.
But in the last 2-3 weeks all this has settled down and we have a pretty happy and content little man.

We Co-Sleep - this wasn't what I planned but it works for us and keeps me sane.
I wear Blue in a HAB when I need to eg: he absolutely won't settle, I need to cook or my back is killing me from carrying him in my arms.
I let Blue sleep on the couch tucked into a triangle pillow etc.
I demand feed - which at the moment is every hour and a half during the day and maybe every 2 hours at night....but we have times where he can go up to 5 hours.
He sleeps well at night straight back to sleep after a feed 99% of the time- But can be a little hard to settle down to sleep.

Basically he is always with me or within my sight.

So today I went and saw the MCHN for his 8 weeks check - this is a different nurse to who I normally have.

She thinks I need to have him in a sleep routine where I put him in bed (his cot) awake and let him cry for a few minutes so he learns to sleep and self settle.
That I need to stop carrying him / wearing him and letting him sleep on me.
That he must be put down to sleep after being awake for 1 1/4 hours.....and that he stringently needs to be in the feed/play/sleep routine.

That I am feeding him too much as he's probably not hungry and just using me for comfort and he should only be feeding every 3 hours or so....

And finally if I don't get him in a routine now I'll have hell on my hands when he is 6/12 months old....

A couple of things I am feeling uncomfortable about....

1. I thought it was impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby - as far as I know they only feed when they are hungry....

2. Blue is already starting to separate from me eg: happy to play on the floor for 15mins while I potter around the house - will lay on the couch next to me instead of on me - doesn't want to sleep on my chest anymore at night will wriggle until I lay him beside me.... all these are new developments in the last fortnight.

3. Yes he is awake a bit during the day with 30-1hr cat naps but he sleeps wonderfully at night - as much as any 8 week old does anyhow - we have good nights and bad nights.

4. He is generally happy and content and laughs more than any other baby I've been around in my circle of friends who have strict routines....

5. He's in the 90th percentile (i think thats right) in length and weight.

All this makes me think that whatever we are doing is working for us....

But now she's put the fear of god in me that I am going to end up in sleep school etc as I am teachng Blue "bad habits"...

I'm all confused now .... what do you think?

**Bathsheba** · April 24th, 2009, 04:16 PM

In a nutshell: Ignore her. Keep doing exactly what you are doing. Trust your instincts and don't let her put any seeds of doubt into your mind. She sounds very "old school". Try to get your hands on a book called "Parenting By Heart" by Pinky McKay. You will feel validated after reading it.

**~Raven~** · April 24th, 2009, 04:17 PM

So today I went and saw the MCHN for his 8 weeks check - this is a different nurse to who I normally have.

What is your usual nurse like? Is she supportive of your parenting of Blue?

If she is then I think you need to just shrug off what the temp nurse said and keep doing what works for you. Maybe call the centre to speak to your usual nurse for some reassurance.

Sounds like you have had a rough time with him. Now he has settled for you and is content then keep doing what you are doing. I wouldn't want to go changing his little routine if it's working.

FWIW I've always let my bubbas lead the way and I've never had hell on my hands

Peach* · April 24th, 2009, 04:21 PM

Hi Dee,
Stoopid nurses!!! Your doing a great job by the sounds of it- as if you would want to feed your bub less??!!
My girl is 3 weeks older than your little one and im in the same boat- she feeds to sleep and now we co-sleep so she can suckle as she wont take a dummy. Im procrastinating about getting her into her cot (monday is the day

)
Your not alone!
Stay strong

**Mak** · April 24th, 2009, 04:27 PM

Ignore her - as long as you are happy it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

Trust yourself and your instincts - DD1 I followed the same advice and still had sleep issues etc. DD2 I ignored everyone and did similiar to you - without beating myself up about routines etc. We are much happier as a result.

Keep listening to your baby and your instincts - sounds like you are doing a fabulous job!

**StrawberryMumma** · April 24th, 2009, 04:29 PM

Don't worry about what she said matey, you do it your way, like Bath said.

Something I have learnt, is that things are always changing with our bubbas so don't worry yourself too much about the future and just go with the flow. Being flexible (like it sounds like you are) is the best way to go I think!

I find it so silly when people say that such a little baby should be in a routine. They don't NEED a routine, yes it may be helpful for some families but definitely not for everyone. They are still so little!!..they aren't going to school, or working full time, so they don't need to ruled by the clock! Just let babies be babies is my opinion on the subject!

Be strong with how YOU want to parent YOUR bub

**Liz** · April 24th, 2009, 04:30 PM

I'm with Bath - ignore ignore ignore!

We Co-Sleep - this wasn't what I planned but it works for us and keeps me sane.
I wear Blue in a HAB when I need to eg: he absolutely won't settle, I need to cook or my back is killing me from carrying him in my arms.
I let Blue sleep on the couch tucked into a triangle pillow etc.
I demand feed - which at the moment is every hour and a half during the day and maybe every 2 hours at night....but we have times where he can go up to 5 hours.
He sleeps well at night straight back to sleep after a feed 99% of the time- But can be a little hard to settle down to sleep.

Basically he is always with me or within my sight.

Sounds just perfect to me. You're doing a fantastic job

Nothing is a bad habit if you're prepared to do it.. and that simply means it's no one's business how you do things. Feeding through the night, or feeding to sleep is not something they do forever. Granted, mine did it for a couple of years LOL.. but I was prepared to do it, so no problem, and they outgrow things and change all the time.

No, you won't overfeed a breasted bub unless you're making them take a bottle top-up.

4. He is generally happy and content and laughs more than any other baby I've been around in my circle of friends who have strict routines....

That just says it all to me.. you're doing everything just right as you are

I bet if you wrote down your day tho, you'd find that you're slipping into your own routine WITH your baby, not forcing him into your own routine. Don't stress, you're doing great

**Lulu** · April 24th, 2009, 05:27 PM

I don't think there is much point trying to do a routine before 12 weeks. Even then he sounds like he is falling into a nice routine on his own anyway. What more can you ask?

He is just lovely Dee, alert and happy chatting away pfft to the nurse!

**BeautifulMadness** · April 24th, 2009, 05:35 PM

i agree, ignore her. if its working for u and he is growing well

**feeb** · April 24th, 2009, 05:38 PM

Ignore her!! My DS is nearly 10 months old and still does not self settle to sleep, he BF to sleep and is then transfered to cot asleep.

During day he will not transfer to cot her will BF and sleep on my knee or in pram if we are out.

Routine wise we are only now starting to see a pattern to the day and thats only because we have solids to fit in also. We still demand BF

Go with the flow, demand BF, co sleep wear in sling and enjoy your bubba.

**Nadine216** · April 24th, 2009, 05:42 PM

Exactly what Bath said

You do what works for you. End. Point. Fullstop.

**bronners** · April 24th, 2009, 06:17 PM

I agree with everyone else - just ignore her. You have been doing what is instinctually right for your baby and if you are happy there is no need to change it. I just learnt to smile and nod at my MCHN...then run away very fast!! Often they are out of touch and confuse mothers IMHO.

**misty** · April 24th, 2009, 06:21 PM

can I go and knock some sense into this nurse for you - what a twit!

**LaDeeDa** · April 24th, 2009, 06:45 PM

Thanks everyone!!!

I think I needed the reassurance that I am doing the right thing for US.

Initially DF was wanting me to try what she said but when I explained her take on feeds - he understands that BF babies need to feed more than formula he dismissed her as a twit!!!

YAY!!! Smile and nod people smile and nod

**beckoes** · April 25th, 2009, 07:12 PM

just wanted to agree with what everyone else said....dont listen to her, there are so many different ways to raise children and im sure hers (if she has any) are fine being raised that way, but that doesnt mean that you have to do it her way! you trust what you think and do what feels right for YOU, no matter what book or nurse tells you otherwise! It sounds like you are doing the same sort of things i did with my DD, i wore her for a lot of the time in the first few month and a few of my friends thought i was crazy, but DD is such a happy, content baby, everyone comments on how happy she is! just hope that next time you see your normal nurse!!
and it sounds like your doing a fantastic job!!!

**Inertia** · April 25th, 2009, 07:23 PM

Smile and nod people smile and nod

Thats the one. If all that is setting up bad habits and creating monsters - then my kids are broken. No new anti-christs here.

On another note - My baby loves the "move it movie" too, hehe!

**Karina** · April 25th, 2009, 09:42 PM

I'd just ignore the MCHN's stupid advice. I'm fairly sure I got the exact same advice as well and I remember thing WTF? She's like 2 months old.
Too be honest, Blue sounds just fine. I wouldnt change a thing. Just do what works for you!