I think both of you are hurt and upset - Her for you bowing out of the bridal pary and you for being 'demoted'. You really need to speak to her in person about this if you want to salvage your friendship.
you are in a tough situation and it is so hard to lose a friendship. I agree with Tinkerbell - I think both of you are hurting. Your friend is being unreasonable, but she sounds hurt too (not that I think it is your fault at all - you have to stand up for yourself) but she has lost a friend too and she might not know how to fix the problem either. I don't know where you both go from here but I do feel for you and for your friend.
I really hope that you can work something out that you are both happy with .
Kitt3n, i COMPLETELY understand how you are feeling and whats going on, because like i said earlier I was in the exact same position, but different reasons why i wanted to step down and not be part of the wedding.
Like you, i tried so tactfully and nicley to explain my situation to her, after stressing out and then getting angry, then stressed again for MONTHS over it
Her reaction was exactly the same. We'd been friends for 13 years before that.
Since then, we haven't spoken again. She made it clear to me (by deleting me and blocking me on facebook!! *very mature*) that our friendship was over.
As sad as it was to end such a long and close friendship, i too felt a weight lifted off me. Its sad to say i actually haven't missed our friendship that much since i realised alot of it was one sided. My friend always expected me to put myself out and come to her place, she'd never come to mine. She was very demanding about the day and time we caught up, always had to fit in with her, basically she was quite selfish, but i never saw this at the time.
Sometimes friendships run their course, sometimes after time it all gets sorted out. Sometimes it takes a particular event to speed things along. In the end, a friendship shouldn't make you feel stressed out and upset and "hard work" like it has been for you. You really really really tried hard to make her happy and do what you could for the wedding, and she didn't really really really do much to understand your position at all.
Don't beat yourself up over it, i know its hard, but you were kind and caring in the way you dealth with it, and i know how it feels to have it thrown back in your face.
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you are in a tough situation and it is so hard to lose a friendship. I agree with Tinkerbell - I think both of you are hurting. Your friend is being unreasonable, but she sounds hurt too (not that I think it is your fault at all - you have to stand up for yourself) but she has lost a friend too and she might not know how to fix the problem either. I don't know where you both go from here but I do feel for you and for your friend.
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