Messy hair in buns and ponytails is totally in though! The high school girls on my tram have perfected the messy bun look!

I would try using spray in conditioner or some mousse or even just a water sprayer to comb her hair into a ponytail if you want it smooth. My dd is 4 and there is no way she would let me to that though. So a compliant child has to be part of the equation. I figure it's her hair and how it looks is no reflection on me or how well she is cared for.