Oh Hugh Gigi- we need to help you with some confidence girlfriend!
WRT the hair straightener and using it correctly- can you have a look on you tube for some videos demonstrating what to do?
Are you near a hair house warehouse? They can show you how to use the straightener to do all sorts of fab things- just pretend you're buying something :-)
For frizz- I use 2 products... Both names escape me now :-(
I'll have a look and get back to you....

If straight hair doesn't suit you- can you wear hair accessories? Or you other products to make your hair behave?