MumtoA - My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry you didn't get to bring your precious daughter home. The waves of grief you are feeling are very normal. I lost 2 boys neary 4 years ago and I still have the waves of grief. As for talking to a toddler about death, I'm not really sure what to advise. My partner had a 4 year old we had to explain the twins death too. We just explained that they had died and now they are living in the stars. We pointed out the stars and said that they were watching over us. He was older than a toddler and could understand a bit more.. There is a book called "We were gonna have a baby, but we had an angel instead". I have never read it, but maybe it's worth looking at.
I hope you have lots of support around you as you go through this difficult time. Don't have high expectations of yourself, just do what feels right as you grieve your daughter
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