hun,
you are living a nightmare at the moment. You are doing soo well to hold it together enough to function in some sort of normal state. You should be so proud of yourself for even getting out of the house with 4 kids- let alone with all you are going through emotionally.
unfortunately so many people dont realise that just because their life keeps going on, it doesnt mean that you want yours too without your little girl
a big huge hug of strength to you!!
One little step in front of the other
I feel so guilty because I have mine, and you don't have yours - its just so ******* unfair.
I have no words - I'm here if you ever need anything though (which is such a stupid thing to say, you want her back and I can't do that - but I hope you know what I mean.)
P.S. Can someone sign off on the last 3 hours for you and say that you have done them so you can get your licence?
to your mother and SIL. No one who dies can be "gotten over" or replaced. Especially not your precious daughter. I hope they either miraculously gain some empathy or at least get so wrapped up in themselves they leave you alone.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this.
Last edited by Jennifer13; February 16th, 2012 at 06:28 PM.
sorry for the loss of your daughter Sophie and that you have so much else to deal with in your life, i hope you can soon get your licence to make things a bit easier for you
I'm so very sorry.
I wish I had better words. Breathe in, breathe out, and tell your mother and sil no. They just have no idea what they're asking of you.
Tell people (childcare, asd parents, psych etc) you're entitled to be feeling fragile and you deserve some compassion.
Biggest hugs, RB. Again, I'm so sorry
Oh RockingBaker, I just wish I could wrap you up in a massive hug. Baby death is hard on it's own, let alone waiting for autopsy results, TTC, and holding a family together. But you are doing all of that. Who cares if you have a melt down once in a while.. Have you thought of telling people about Sophie that don't know? I'll share my experience (and you may not even want to read it because you might be completely different.) I had to tell people about the twins, especially in that first year. I wanted them to be known, recognised and remembered.. If you want to tell people, tell them. If not don't. Just do what feels right. As for your family asking if you killed her Tell them to get lost! Don't listen to anything toxic.
Regarding birthdays anniversaries etc, have you thought about what you would like to do? I personally celebrate Taite and Seth's birthday with a balloon release, I try to think about the day they were born and how much they brought to my life. It's sad because they aren't here and should be, but for me, it's a day to try and celebrate for them. (add in lots of songs and tears). Spend the day with people you want to and trust. Whether it be everyone, or no one! Do whatever you want. Can you get someone to take the kids for you? Or have them on standby in case you can't deal with it? My heart goes out to you babe. You shouldn't have to be going through this. Nobody should.
RB - I was just wondering, apart from anything else, if you've thought about going to your GP to talk about depression? I tell you I am seriously thinking about it at the mo, and for me if things don't start to improve, I will be at the Dr's next week. It's a big step for me, to admit that I might need that sort of help, but at the same time, if it makes me stronger, than that is what I must do.
I didn't mean to make this post about me. I was just thinking about what you'd written ( and I will still BBL to reply to most of it, sorry to keep you waiting) but i thought I got a glimpse of how you're feeling and it seems to be similar to how I am at the mo ( and you have way more on your plate than me). Anyway, just an idea. Please don't be offended by the suggestion, it comes from a good place - one of concern for you, not judgement.
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to your mother and SIL. No one who dies can be "gotten over" or replaced. Especially not your precious daughter. I hope they either miraculously gain some empathy or at least get so wrapped up in themselves they leave you alone.
Tell them to get lost! Don't listen to anything toxic.
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