My beautiful angels.. (subsequent living child mentioned)

[blessedatlast]

I am feeling ok Dory.. I've been a bit up and down.. Not only is it nearly the twins birthday, but this time last year we were having a very traumatic time in NICU, as well as my relationship ending so I am feeling triggered by a lot of things. Most of all though, I feel lucky that Button is here and we can honour his brothers beautifully this year with my Mum too.

I feel like I am on a roller coaster... Up and down, spinning around, sometimes so fast I can't catch my breath. The emotional highs and lows I can feel is unbelievable. Sometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest person alive to have what I have, other times I can't believe what I went through to get it and think it's so unfair. Sometimes i feel detached like I'm an outsider looking in on my life. Other times I feel raw emotion so intense that there's no mistaking that this is in fact my life and my experience.. It wasn't a bad dream..

Anyway, I'm not sure if that made much sense. I'm just writing thoughts as they come while i have my amazing one year old asleep on my chest At this moment i am lucky.. Definitely Blessed.. At last

[dory]

Nope, made complete sense..... that's a lot to deal with in a year, in four, in a lifetime..... go gently.

[Footsteps]

Beautiful pic huni xx

[~TT40~]

what a beautiful picture. sorry your boys arent here with you. xoxo