need help

[Maisy]

I am terribly sorry for your loss. Losing a child is the hardest thing to ever have to go through and the circumstances of why and how, and the questions of why and what if. I still wonder 'why' a lot. All you can do is take it a day at a time, an hour at a time. Do you have any support around you? like parent loss groups or online support? I found this really helped, as I didnt know anyone who had lost a baby and found even though friends could listen, they didnt really know what I was going through. No one seems to 'get it' better than angel mums. There are just so many little things we might think and don't know if its normal. Grief is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and the loss is not just the lively litlte person we got to know, but the hopes and dreams for their future. It is as though everything is shattered and shaken up, including our trust in life. To be honest sometimes I feel like I was robbed of my baby. I do think of the nice memories I had with her but there is always the before and after - before she was sick, and after she got sick (ICU and bad diagnosis) and I miss her each day. I hope the days do become a bit more gentler for you soon.

My mother and father went through this when they lost their first child at only 9 days old. It has been 46 years and yes, my parents still grieve for her (on birthdays, particularly significant ones). What my mother describes is very similar to what Tenibear describes. She says that she will always remember her perfect little girl who she had for such a short time but will always always be in her heart.

This brought tears to my eyes. That is beautiful. Such a long life, but something so special for such a short time. xx

[lost mum]

Hi ladies you are all supportive and thanks for all your hugs. I always visit her and i find that she is close by in spirit.